Dear Old Silly-

I’m still hungover from Christmas. And kind of pissed. Everywhere I went on Christmas – my Mom’s, my brother and sister-in-law’s, couple of friends – they all forced me to eat way too much and insisted I have some drinks with them. Well, due to their insisting, I ate way too much and drank myself stupid. Now I got indigestion and a severe headache. And it’s all their fault. I feel like telling them a thing or two, but they already think I’m a complainer, so … I don’t know what to do, really. People should not be so pushy and force their holiday guests to over-indulge, way I see it.

Whaddayou think, Old Silly? Am I right here? I mean, I enjoy having fun, lots of it, but I don’t think it’s right to have to make yourself sick just to make everybody else happy.

Sincerely,

Owen Fiddler

Dear Mr. Owen Fiddler-

Having read your book, I can chaulk this pathetic bit of finger-pointing and blame-game-playing up as typical behavioral drivel for one such as yourself. No one forced you to do anything, you nitwit. You over-ate and over-drank of your own free will, and you damn well know it.

Sigh, actually, the sad part is, no – you probably don’t know it. That’s your problem. You feel as though the world owes you everything even though you never contribute anything of value to it, and everyone in your life is more responsible for your own failures and problems than you are. You think you can dance through life and never have to pay the fiddler. Hence your name, I suppose author Marvin D Wilson was thinking, and with a considerable amount of sagacity and insight, I might add.

So my advice? Grow up and take some responsibility for your own actions. Think about others first – what a novel idea, hmm? Now take two aspirin for the headache, have a small helping of organic yogurt to help abate the tummy ache, get a real life going, one that produces more than it consumes, and drop your $50 off at the front desk.

Oh, and Mr. Fiddler? I will expect to see some marked improvement in your behavior and mannerisms in the sequel to Owen Fiddler, hmm?  That’s my good man. Go now.

Yours Very Truly,

The Old Silly

~~~~~

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Light hearted stuff for y’all today instead of the usual heavy “Saturday Pontification” feature. Figured everyone’s still a little stuffed and potsed from Christmas hangover so … enjoy these “real” Murphy Laws and have a wonderful day. Blog back in tomorrow for a very special Dear Old Silly Sunday counseling session.

1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

8. Seen it all, done it all. Can’t remember most of it.

9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

10. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

11. He’s not dead. He’s electroencephalographically challenged.

12. She’s always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the “Juneflower.”

13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
misquoted and used against you.

14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

16. Pardon my driving, I’m reloading.

17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.

20. Just remember if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

23. You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

24. You have the right to remain silent, but most lack the capacity to do so

25. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population.

26. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

27. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

28. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.

29. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

30. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

31. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

32. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

33. Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.

34. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

35. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

36. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

37. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

~~~~~

(The Old Silly thanks his buddy Todd for passing these hilarious bits of levity)

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12 BUGS OF CHRISTMAS by Stephanie Bailey University of Kentucky Department of Entomology

If “The Twelve Days of Christmas” seems to be wearing a little thin this year, consider a new rendition:

• A Japanese beetle on a pear tree.
• Two turtle bugs
• three frittilaries
• four calling cicadas
• five goldeneye lacewings
• 6 borers boring
• 7 stinkbugs smelling
• 8 bees a buzzing
• 9 fleas a leaping
• 10 damsels dancing
• 11 mantids praying
• 12 crickets strumming

Here is a very cute video sung by St. Augustine Junior School Peterborough

Happy Holidays to all – this was published in Readers Digest

and is by Dan Reynolds.

MERRY XMAS TO ALL! Including every human creature of whatever nation or land; also, animals–cats, dogs, elephants, camels, monkeys; also, insects–ants, mosquitoes, bees; also, creatures that crawl–worms, reptiles; and innumerable others in nature.  Christians are celebrating the birth of their God and Agebuster invites all of you to join in!

Nat King Cole’s rendition of Mel Tormé’s classic, “The Christmas Song” is my all time favorite. I wanted to have a short, special musical offering for this Christmas post, and since I know Free Spirit readers are of all kinds of religious and/or spiritual backgrounds, this one works for everyone. Whether you are a Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, LOA believer, Sikh, Muslim, Bahá’í, Native American Great Spirit Worshipper, or any other sort of believer, non-believer or whatever, Christmas is all about the love. So let’s all get along and feel the love, hmm?

I invite you to sit back and relax for the next two minutes, think nice thoughts about life, love, family, friends, neighbors, your country and our whole, wonderful planet earth, have some sweet memories, think positive thoughts about the future, generate great vibes and send them out into the universe as you enjoy- 

~~~~~

Merry Christmas all, from the Old Silly!

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Back in October, our HOA (otherwise known and our local green death panel) announced that compost piles were not allowed.  Bah! Humbug!

Not to be deterred, B and I bought a couple different types of commercial compost bins and transferred the pile into them.  We’ll update our findings as soon as we have some.

Around the same time, I started reading about worm composting, aka, vermiculture.  I was instantly hooked (pardon the pun, fishermen).  I ordered a worm compost bin, set it up, got some bedding going and ordered a pound of red wigglers.  They arrived in good order.  I must say, though, they were much smaller than I expected.

It took the worms about a month to establish themselves and get to work earning their keep.  The process is a bit slower than I expected, primarily due to the adjustment period and the fact that I should have ordered two pounds instead of one.

After the worms began to get active, I discovered a flaw in the design of the compost bin I ordered.  The holes between the bedding section and the waste section are too big.  The worms regularly leave the buffet table for a nap down below.  That’s bad on a number of levels.  Besides the fact that worms can’t eat things they can’t get to, they endanger themselves and can die if not put back.

B went to the store and bought some screen material to line the bottom with, which seemed a great plan, but the worms still find their way under it.  I’ll have to superglue the darned stuff to the bin.

Anyway, during my morning rescue mission today, I happened to notice some very tiny strings of thread in the bottom of the bin .  When I went to scoop it up, it moved.  There were a dozen baby worms in the box.  I am so psyched.  They are very thin, extremely pale, but quite active.  I gently placed them in the upper bin, added some food scraps and closed the lid with pride. But in my excitement, I forgot to take pictures.  Sigh.

How weird am I?

I’m going Christmas shopping tonight. Yup. I’m one of those typical guys who waits ’til the last minute to get the shopping done. Why? It’s more fun, that’s why.

Ever been to the mall late at night on Christmas Eve? I have, many times. And it’s the best night of the year to go to the mall – wanna know why?

Cuz it’s all guys out there. Men. Men on a mission. They know what they gotta do. We march around the place, focused, no-nonsense attitudes, plastic in hand, lists prepared, game plan in play, we go about our business with silent, swift intensity. We see each other, nod, knowing we’re all in this together, it’s a man thang – and by god this job is gonna get done. NOW.

And we know why we’re here on this night. Aside from all of us being typical male proscrastinators, the upsides to this special, magical holiday event are huge. There’s no waiting for feminine indicisiveness at the checkout, no lengthy lines and cloisters of chattering females lingering about the stores clogging up the aisles and passing lanes, none of that. It’s full speed ahead with green go lights everywhere and well trained, experienced, veteran,  male race drivers at the wheels. Fabulous experience to take part in.

Won’t see any women out there. Nope. They know full well they got no business being out at the mall doing “last minute” Christmas shopping. They’d have to hand in their woman cards – any women worth her panties is supposed to plan ahead, to be calculating, to have such measured, maternal, nesting instincts to the point of having started her gift lists, mail ordering, ebay and amazon and other online shop purchases months in advance, and be all done with the brick and mortar shopping well ahead of, as in weeks before, Christmas. I’ve known my wife to call me over to look at a catalog and ask if this wouldn’t make a great Christmas gift for so-and-so in the middle of the summer, for god’s sake!

So if you do see catch a woman out at the mall on the night of December 24th, she’ll be incognito – gayrownteed. Not becoming for a lady to be caught out there on the Guys’ Night Out.

Take this gal-

Yup. It’s a she. I shot this last Christmas Eve. She thought the sweatpants, hoodie, fake goatee and tightly strapped-in boobs would fool me and all the other men, but no way. I snapped this shot from inside the ladies room. I knew it was a her. I could tell by the way it did way too much window shopping, actually held garments up to a mirror to make sure they were color coordinated, wasting valuable time, and the slow, easy pace it strolled around in. And since women are not allowed supposed to be out at the mall I snuck (fully within my rights) into the women’s restroom and waited. Sure enough, when it had to pee it went straight to the ladies room – after looking around in all directions to make sure it wasn’t being watched, of course.

Well, we had a good laugh, and I promised not to tell tell on her. Well, at least not for a year. If I see her out there again tonight I’m taking no prisoners. I’ll escort her straight out into the mall common area and make a public announcement over the louspeakers that – (loud whistle!) Hey fellas – check this out – we got us a WOMAN – out here doing last minute Christmas shopping!

So anyway – gotto go, I’m making my list and checking it thrice, then it’s off to the Old Silly’s favorite shopping experience of the year, the all man, manliest mall day of them all, Christmas Eve last minute shopping …

The Guys’ Night Out!

~~~~~

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This is an article submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to find out who had the wildest Christmas dinners. It won first prize. A cousin of mine passed it on to me, and I thought it to be the perfect Christmas week Hilarious Hump Day post. Enjoy!

~~~~~ 

As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them.

What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay’s kids’ stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don’t sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you’ve never been in an X-rated store, don’t go, you’ll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, ‘What does this do?’ ‘You’re kidding me!’ ‘Who would buy that?’ Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.

I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour. Finding what I wanted was difficult. ‘Love Dolls’ come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I’d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for ‘Lovable Louise.’ She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a ‘doll’ took a huge leap of imagination.

On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life.

My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise’s pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy, but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. ‘What the hell is that?’ she said.

My brother quickly explained, ‘It’s a doll.’

‘Who would play with something like that?’ Granny snapped.

I kept my mouth shut.

‘Where are her clothes?’ Granny continued.

‘Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran,’ Jay said, to steer her into the dining room.

But Granny was relentless. ‘Why doesn’t she have any teeth?’

Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, ‘Hang on Granny, hang on!’

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, ‘Hey, who’s the naked gal by the fireplace?’

I told him she was Jay’s friend.

A few minutes later, I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa’s last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants. Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car.

It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother’s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise’s collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health..

I can’t wait till next Christmas.

~~~~~

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Just put in a little thread close smiley and no need for anyone else to comment! Now we can all be mods!

The OP deleted her original post, but thankfully it was quoted.

topic closed please delete (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=894856)

MotherMoonPads

12-22-2009 10:04 AM

---

Re: Is this normal??

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeWearsCloth (Post 9157419) I did a trade with a mama on here and I’ll be honest since it’s from another country I decided to wait to send out my item because you never know! Well it’s been about a month and I have yet to receive it! It’s coming from Canada and Im in PA!!!!! I asked the trader about it on the 10t of December and she said she mailed it but without a tracking number that she bets I will probably have it the next day or the next week….nope I still don’t have it. What should I do?? Keep waiting?? How long does this take??:headscratch:

Personally, I think you were REALLY wrong to wait to send your part of the trade, if the other mama does not know that you did that.

International shipping is S-L-O-W at Christmastime. Most first class packages take 3-5 weeks to arrive. So now you’re upset that your part of teh trade hasn’t arrived yet, how do you think the other mama will feel when hers will take 3-5 weeks longer now?

HeWearsCloth

12-22-2009 01:07 PM

---

Re: Is this normal??

Okay I simply asked a question everyone don’t need to be ganging up on me!

The mama does know I still have mine and I’m simply holding it because I’ve been screwed before so I alway’s wait until I receive the other item’s and I ship mine priority with a tracking number! I didn’t see the harm in this as a mama asked me to ship mine first because of her previous expeiences so I did, also I did NOT know it could take this long to receive an item from Canada or anywhere else or I would have shipped this sooner. To ship it today would just be dumb esp. cause of Christmas coming right around the corner, so I will be at the mail box first thing SATURDAY mornig as I live right across from the P.O.!

Besides I’m not going to scam her. I love this site and I wouldn’t do anything to jepordize my name on it. I’m just new at this and just because I was asked to do this before and I did and I agreed because I trust people I’m not going to live my life being paranoid, I take chances! Besides, until I knew that it took this long to ship I was thinking I was going to get scammed (if I was to send mine out) since I had yet to receive something.

Thank you to those who helped clear up my question’s and for the rest of you I’m not so thankful!

TOPIC CLOSED!!

HeWearsCloth

12-22-2009 04:51 PM

---

Re: Is this normal??

The trader know’s I waited and as for the two who recently left a comment. You don’t even know what were talking about so theres no need for your two cents. Thanks!!

Welcome back to Bloggyversity, English Comp Class 10001.3b, “Writing With Power in Fiction.” Settle down, class - we are as usual on a tight schedule, very important material to cover. Stop gossiping, quit flirting, turn off your ipods, cell phones, black and/or raspberries, stop with the twittering, get your faces out of Facebook, adjust your monitors, straighten your undies, have a seat and pay close attention. I’m in no mood today for any of your typical scallywag behavior. 

Much better. Thank you. Ahem. Today I’m going to address dialog tags. I am from the Stephen King camp on this element of writing, that being that dialog tags should be simple, unadorned with frivolous adjectives and/or adjectives, and kept, for the majority of times, to a spartan “he said, she said” and “he asked, she asked” format. The idea is, in good prose the writing should be such that the emotions involved and level of volume the words are being said in is obvious – without having to resort to the lazy, amateurish reliance on throwing in qualifying words in the tags.

Example:

“I just hate the way she talks to me,” John said loudly and angrily.

“Yeah,” Mary said pensively, “she is quite an uppity so-and-so.”

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. This dialog is stilted and stale, with all the necessary information as to what feelings are going on between John and Mary provided with dreaded, dangling “ly” adverbs providing the missing information in the tags. And doing so, I might add, completely and totally weakly. (wink)

Read the same exchange now, with the dialog and prose providing the attendant information instead of it all being in the tags.

John slammed a fist into his open palm. His face reddened as he said, ”I just hate the way that high and mighty acting witch talks to me.” 

Mary’s eyes shot wide open. She looked all around, put a shush finger to her mouth and said, “John – she could hear you, for god’s sake. Good grief, you don’t want to get us both in trouble, do you?” She winked. “But, yeah, she is quite an uppity old bag.”

Any doubt as to how loud or soft they are talking or with what kind of emotion? No. The writing creativity should be in the action and the dialog itself – not in the tags, hmm?

Okay, that’s regarding statements. How about questions? Here it is important to remember that if a quoted question is written with a question mark at the end, there is no need, and in fact it becomes redundant, to use “asked” in the tag. And the reverse is also true. Here are a couple examples.

“How about let’s put a tack on her chair while she’s out of the room?” John asked Mary.

“Have you completely lost your mind, John?” Mary asked him back.

Again, wrong. Redundant and overwriting. Here’s the same exchange, with correct combinations of punctuations and tags.

John asked Mary, “How about let’s put a tack on her chair while she’s out of the room.” 

Mary couldn’t believe her ears. She put her hands on her hips and said, “Have you completely lost your mind, John?”

Much better, hmm?

Oh, and one other thing on this subject, then we’ll dismess blog. Please, no “cutesy” tags, for instance:

Mary stepped in, “Yadayadayada …”

Or-

John chimed in, “Yadayadayada …”

Puh-leeeease. Mary did not “step” anywhere, unless you are writing her as taking a physical action. She said something. And what – John has a rack of bells in his throat instead of vocal chords? He didn’t “chime” anything … he spoke, for heaven’s sake, okay? These kinds of attempts at being clever and creative with tags just comes off as sophomoric. Again, get creative with your prose, and leave the tags alone as mere functions of identifying who is saying what.

Also keep in mind, tags are not always necessary. If two characters are talking in a scene and their “voices” are distinct enough, once the first couple of exchanges have taken place you can usually dispense with tags altogether and  let the talking go back and forth without them. One thing to avoid in this situation is to not get into a long, sterile segment – make sure you write in some movement, reactions, internal dialog, someone sneezes, etc., so the scene doesn’t get reduced to just “talking heads.”

All right, short class today, there is more to cover on this topic but I have an importand tea date with Ms. Flanders in the teacher’s lounge, so we’ll just …

Hey! Stop with all that gossiping! You three in the back!

Sigh, all this hearsay gossip these kids get so delighted over nowadays. Nothing but he said, she said nonsense, if you ask me.

~~~~~

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“Watchmen” is a man trying to connect to God anyway he can!

HELLO OUT THERE:

Today I thought I would take a second to entertain you with just a few of the searches that people have been using when they happened to stumble on my blog. More confusing then why you would search these things is why they would happen to link to my blog.

They are:

Pooper Scooper: Well isn’t that just lovely. For some reason google thinks my blog resembles a pooper scooper. I would normally take offense but if it gets eyes to my blog I shan’t complain.

Peg Leg: As I have no peg leg this is a bit confusing for me. I could get a peg leg as a fashion statement. In fact I think I could rock it fairly well if I covered it in leather and studded it with silver. Except I would have to cut off my own leg and I am not really into that whole SAW situation.

Stabbing a “Mother f***ker: I am not kidding. Someone actually searched this and found their way onto my blog. More frighting than the fact that they searched that in this particular case is the fact that some creepy person who wants to “stab a mofo” now has me on their radar. CREEEPPY. In retrospect it may not be a good idea to be mocking such a person now. I am in BIG trouble.

Black Suits for graduation: I don’t wear suits, I am not a man, and my graduation is over. But I like to pretend that google sent this particular query to my blog because I have a keen fashion sense. KEEN.

Those are all the searches I am going to save for now. but I wanted to end this by making things interesting and tagging this post with some really random stuff in the hopes tat I can uncover some people who search even weirder things.

The tags: Santa, Satan, clogs, horns, hat pins, grim reaper, shark, Danny Glover, Meth, Christmas, sugar plums, fleas, Mansfield Park, Ghostbusters, Bratz, bats, snakes, worms, poison, Harry Potter.

I’ll let you know how it goes

<3 Keep Blabbing

Jane

Saturday, January 9^th, 2010
8am-10am
San Diego Zoo Otto Entrance
(one block south of main entrance)

Learn how to create rich garden soil, save water, and reduce trash at the landfill by recycling your kitchen scraps and garden debris at this FREE workshop.

Workshop is taught by trained Master Composters from the Solana Center for Environmental Innovation and cover how and what to compost using both a vermicomposting (worm) bin and a backyard composting bin.

Pre registration required. Please register online at www.solanacenter.org or by phone 760-436-7986 ext. 222. Limit 25 participants.

Click here to pre-register now!

Wanna make an Old Silly happy and do yourself and/or a loved one a favor at the same time? Got some last minute Christmas shopping to do? Here’s a novel (pun intended) idea for ya…

Buy one of my books!

Yupperdoodles, it’s shameless self-promotivation time today on Free Spirit as I am announcing a Christmas special offer. AaaaaannnNND now …

here it is!

Whoever buys a copy of Owen Fiddler or Between the Storm and the Rainbow between now and the end of Christmas Eve, and emails me at marvwilson2020 at gmail dot com with a copy of proof of purchase, will receive a FREE copy of my first release, I Romanced the Stone (Memoirs of a Recovering Hippie).

I know, I know, I’m too kind – call me a soft Old Silly. Oh – and if you already have a copy of I Romanced the Stone? Let me know that and I’ll substitute a copy of one of the newer releases for ya. Fair ’nuff? Thought so. What’s that? You already have all three books? First of all, I LOVE YOU! – and secondly, pick up a copy or two for some family and/or friends, right? It’s Christmas, baby!

Okay – here’s the books and a quick rundown on them. You can click on the titles or the cover images to go directly to the buy page. Aren’t I just the accommodating one, hmm?

Owen Fiddler

 Owen Fiddler wants to tell you his story. It just might be yours!

(Everyone sing along to the tune of the Beatles’ “Nowhere Man”)

Has a selfish point of view, why he’s such a fool, no clue. Isn’t he a bit like me and you? Owen, man, please listen. You don’t know what you’re missing. Owen, man, your world is at your command!

He’s no role model for you or your kids, but reading his story will learn ya a thing or two, and that’s a fact. This is an entertaining, thought-provoking, humorous and spiritually insightful book which will surely have you thinking about your own life.

“I heartily recommend reading Owen Fiddler for a spiritual perspective on life that will cause you to think about your own actions and behavior. Whether or not you believe in God, a higher being, heaven, law of attraction, or any type of life after death, you will walk away from this novel having at least been inspired to glimpse the possibility that there is more to life than a simple daily existence. ” -Lisa Haselton, award winning writer/editor/book reviewer

***

Between the Storm and the Rainbow

The internationally popular award-winning Free Spirit blog – an anthology of the best of the best posts that will inspire you, stimulate your deep thoughts and emotions and also give you plenty of laughter. Read the spiritual/inspirational writings of author Marvin D Wilson and join the global community of readers who count on their daily dose of Free Spirit.

***

And here’s the book that can be yours for FREE if you purchase one of the above books-

I Romanced The Stone (Memoirs of a Recovering Hippie)

 ”From one nightmare to another” in I Romanced the Stone, Marvin Wilson carries us through the horrors of addiction to the glory of salvation in a rollicking, sometimes terrifying journey to joy.” – multi-published historical novelist, Peggy Ullman Bell

“Marvin Wilson destroys all the stereotypes of drug use on both ends of the scale. He is neither part of the Hollywood/New York “elite” associated with upscale drug abuse, nor is he a part of the underclass. He is just an average middle class guy who fell into a bottomless pit.
His recovery from drugs and the recovery of his marriage is an inspiration for anyone who has felt that their lives had become hopeless.
His book takes the reader on a ride of emotions as he shares a truly remarkable story of despair and redemption.
This is a must read.” – Walter Sorg, WILS Radio Talk Show Host

So there you have it, gang. This offer is extended through midnight, EST, December 24, 2009. Have a jolly day, a wonderful Holiday Season, hopefully made even better by the acquisition of one (make that two, with the special offer) of these books, and remember the Old Silly loves y’all!

psst – ‘fore ya go, Adam Atom send his regards – he’ll be back in typical smashing atom form next week in his regular Monday feature spot.

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Where was the co-op and who is the WAHM?

http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?s=ebad2fa5d5bf71c82bbb631cd1bfc36d&t=893912

Yesterday, 11:47 PM

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LilMamaK // <![CDATA[// Registered Users Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: South Jersey Posts: 353 Ratings: 37 Feedback: 100% My Mood:

If a coop goes bad…(not a DS coop) So, if a coop goes “bad” (i.e. items not being received by most participants; items not really being shipped when they are said to be & lots of excuses on the part of the WAHM) BTW this is a drop-shipping coop NOT on DS for some big ticket items…. Anyway the coop host (who incidentally was one of only 3 folks to actually receive her stuff) seems very lackadaisical about all of the shipping delays & excuses but I just think that the WAHM didn’t complete items on time & called for shipping just to make it appear that stuff would actually be here by Christmas (I would not have ordered otherwise) since coop stuff is paid to the host as “personal” is there any recourse to get $ back for these items which I do not believe have shipped or are even complete? It’s just about the 45 day pp window (for the original payment)…the best I could do is claim against the shipping I paid, but a tracking # will show in pp (it’s just a label was printed message, though)

Dear God,

Thank You for being present with and within us through every joy and sorrow of our lives.

In You we laugh, cry, dance, sing, grieve and laugh again.

You are not merely a lovely idea for Sunday morning.

You are the very life of us.

Thank You for this mystical experience.

Amen

~~~~~

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I don’t often comment on news stories on this blog. Hardly ever, really. But yesterday I came across the news flash story that in CHATTANOOGA, Tennessee, a four-year-old boy, beer in hand, was accused of stealing Christmas presents from his neighbors. It’s a strange story, but also a sad one. 

The article, and if you want to read it, just click here, went on to say that this “innocent” little tyke was just trying to emulate his father when he broke into his neighbors house, stole Christmas presents from under the tree, and was found at 1:45 a.m., dressed in a stolen girl’s dress with an open, half drank, 12 ounce beer in his hand, standing on a street corner.

Four years old.

Look at this kid. How? How does this sweet, small face get put with this kind of criminal activity?

Apparently, his mommy (and I use that term extremely loosely) explained that, while the incident was scary to her and caused her great trepidation when she “discovered” he was missing, worrying her to death he might be abducted and/or murdered or run over or something, she felt his behavior was still ”understandable.”

He wanted to be like his daddy - do some bad things so he could get caught and go to jail and be with his dad.

Mom was quoted as apologizing for her son’s actions, citing the motive I just mentioned, but admitted she was “not embarrassed.” 

“Kids do things like this and it’s out of your control, you can do the best you can as a mother, everyone makes mistakes, it was an honest mistake,” she said.

Now, mine is not to judge. I’m nowhere near perfect, never have been, try to be, but fail all the time. So I’ll not blog here about what a pathetic example of parenting this is, even though it is and I just showed how imperfect I am by contradicting myself within one paragraph. Sorry, had to let that slip. But the point is -

People – if we want this future generation to grow up to be good, honest, caring-for-and-thinking-about-others-first-with-their-actions, and sensible, responsible citizens, then we have to start – check that – we have to return to, being …

Good, honest, caring-for-and-thinking-about-others-first-with-our-actions, sensible, responsible citizens, and we have to do some real parenting!

And that starts by leading by example. Actions speak louder than words, louder than screaming and ranting at your kids, volumes more than endless and meaningless “time-outs,” and your kids are watching you to see what they should be like when they grow up. This poor little kid wants the companionship of his father and apparently will do anything to be like him and be able t0 be with him. How nice, and how typical. Kids are like that.

Too bad there are so many parents who are not living examples of what they want their children to grow up to be, hmm?

Okay, the Old Silly is stepping down off his soap box now. Thanks for letting me rant, I feel much better now. And please join me in prayer for the future of that little boy. His mother was allowed to keep custody of him. Pray for her, too. 

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It’s been some time since I’ve done this favorable blogger shout out feature, so I figured it’d make a nice change of pace to get back to it today. As most of my regular readers know, the Old Silly doesn’t do blog awards. Well, that is, I accept awards, they are kind and thoughtful gestures, and I do appreciate the consideration and thought behind them. I just don’t very often get involved in the meme tag games that so often accompany them and I refuse to comply with any rules attached to receiving and passing them on. Not my style. That’s one reason I put the “Blog Awards” page on this blog. On that page you can see the awards and in most cases you can click on them and go to the giver’s blog – my way of giving back and helping other bloggers’ traffic and readership.

But enough about me and my quirks. Today I want to call your attention to a fabulous woman, a prolific and terrific blogger, published author, and an excellent writing coach.

Elizabeth Spann Craig.

Elizabeth bestowed the award below upon the Old Silly, which was an impetus for me to revive this Friday feature thingy. I think it was just last week she gave it to me. Maybe a bit earlier. Not exactly sure, must be the Half-Heimers acting up, but it was recently, okay? Stop laughing at me.

 Here it is- 

And you know what I like about this one that’s special? Here’s the “rules” that go with it:

• You can post this image to your blog…or not.
• You may share this award with others…if you like.
• You may adapt or alter this image in any way.

See? Now that’s my style and my kinda gal! Totally Free Spirited, no strings attached, giving without expectations, and oh, here – she finished up by saying to the several bloggers she had listed to receive her award, “I want you all to know that I appreciate you.”

Well, I appreciate you too, Elizabeth. And for anyone who has not had the pleasure of reading her blog yet, the Old Silly does heartily encourage you to go over to Mystery Writing is Murder blog for daily doses of entertaining, informative, and wonderful insights into the craft of writing good prose. She has this incredible gift of making analogies out of everyday life experiences and turning them into literary tutorials. Great stuff. You’ll love it. You will want to follow this blog, trust me. 

So Elizabeth? Please accept this Old Silly Award for Excellence in Entertainment blogging, as well as the Marvaholics Anonymous Award. Both of them are exclusive, they only come from me and are not meant to be passed around.

You can have either one or both, or it won’t bother me none if you don’t take either one – totally up to you. Plaster ‘em on your main page, or stick ‘em on some back page, or just print them out and make paper planes with ‘em. Heck – have a plane throwing contest with your kids. Won’t hurt my feelings whatever ya do with ‘em. Except’n if you start one of them flippin’ play date meme tag games with them – do that and I’ll stop following you on Twitter. Okay, maybe nothing that serious, but just sayin’ …

Okay. That’s it for today, gang. Stop back in tomorrow for a Saturday Pontification, got a real whiz banger for y’all.

All right, now it’s really gotta go time. Chow. Toodles, guys – blog dismissed. 

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You know the kind of day I mean…the kind where you wonder why you bothered getting out of bed in the first place?  Yeah, one of those.

I thought I had it all under control this morning.  Kids woke up relatively fine, got orders put together and ready to drop off at FedEx, couldn’t find my usual black legging-type pants to wear to the gym, so I decided to just grab a pair of shorts, toss them into the gym bag, and head out.  When I got to the gym and went to change into the shorts, I realized that while the tag might have said they were a particular size, they were clearly meant for hips that were much smaller than mine.  Still, I figured that even though they were kind of tight (oh, who am I kidding?  REALLY tight.  As in, never should have left the confines of the locker room tight), I’d go ahead and do my run.

I’m training, ultimately, for a marathon, but right now I’m building up to a half marathon, that is scheduled at the end of February.  I’ve had sort muscles in this really weird spot – kind of next to, but underneath, my shins.  Not shin splints, it’s definitely a muscle that is sore.  I could barely go past a mile on Monday, and iced them down on Monday and Tuesday nights, figuring I’d be good to go today.  Well, between the muscles still being sore and the “chub rub” (you know, ladies, when your inner thigh “chub” rubs against itself?) which was making the already-too-tight shorts go up to the nether regions, I managed about five excruciating (from embarrassment, I wasn’t THAT sore) minutes on the treadmill.  Thank goodness I go during a weird hour when there are only a handful of people around!

I decided to not make it a completely wasted trip, and grabbed a magazine and headed to the stationary bikes.  The first FOUR bikes that I attempted to mount were set up too high, too low, or too far back.  Yes, I know, bikes are adjustable.  Unfortunately, I managed to choose the bikes that didn’t want to be adjusted.  I finally get one that will let me get set up, and start pedaling.  It’s one of those recumbant bikes – the ones where your legs are out in front of you rather than down.  20 minutes with the shorts from hell going all sorts of places they really didn’t need to be, and I gave up and headed to the showers.

I WAS finally able to pick up some icing buckets from the grocery store today.  Not only do they make great self-watering planters (more about that when spring comes along), but my main purpose for getting some today was to give my worms a proper home.  Yes, you read that right, my worms.  Yes, they TOTALLY squick me out.  However, I think that is a topic that will need it’s own post, so I’ll just leave it at that.

A friend of mine told me that Walgreens Register Rewards worked like regular coupons at the grocery store.  I decided to go through the self-checkout to see if it would work with minimal embarrassment if it didn’t.  But, because I had gotten so many things with attached coupons (i.e. the stuff that’s going to go bad in a couple of days, so the store slaps a coupon on it to get it gone.  Those are my favorite kinds of things to buy!), the self-checkout did not like me, and I had to bring all of the tear-off coupons to the self-checkout babysitter to scan.  So, I didn’t bother to try using the register rewards, because the babysitter looked annoyed that she actually had to do something, and I didn’t want to get her all riled up.

So, we come home, we bake cookies like a cute little family, we go collect more worms from our worm collector in the garage (two towels that I threw down to attempt to block a poorly constructed area in front of the garage that causes my entire basement to flood every time in rains), and I realize that I still have Register Rewards that are going to expire today.  And there’s nothing I hate more than free money that expires.  And I needed to buy a Powerball ticket, since the jackpot was $77 million.  (I have a thing with 7’s.  Also another post for another day.)  So, we’re off to try to use them at Wal-mart.  (Normally, I’d just use them at Walgreens, like normal people do.  But Walgreens doesn’t have anything good on sale this week, and I don’t like buying stuff that I don’t actually need.)

It was 5:30 when we left.  Wal-mart is maybe 10 minutes away on a two-lane road.  We landed behind a car that landed behind a car accident along the way.  After the police arrived within a minute or two, the car in front of us turned around and went in the other direction.  I thought, well, how long could this take?  There’s a line of at least 20 cars behind me within a couple of minutes, they’ll get it cleaned up quickly.  So we sit and we wait.  And we wait.  Little Miss gets out of her car seat to watch the firefighters cut open a car door.  (For the record, the injuries were minor, from what we could tell.)  And we wait as they get out the spray paint and mark everything.  I watch some cars behind us turn around and go in another direction, but you know how once you’ve already been there for a good amount of time, you figure it can’t be much longer, I’ve waited this long, might as well finish it out.  We watched them begin to load the crunched up cars onto tow trucks, and start sweeping up the road, and I think it’s almost over.

You know how this is going to end, don’t you?  At 7:30, I did finish it out.  When a police officer knocked on my window and asked me to turn around and go in the other direction because they needed to “clear out this area”.  I really wanted to say, “Do you think you could’ve told me that, say, an hour and a half ago?”  But I didn’t.  And then I kicked myself when my navigation system informed me that a detour put Wal-mart five minutes away. 

For the record, the Register Rewards didn’t work at Wal-mart.  But I did snag a rotisserie chicken at half price because it was 8pm.  And I totally forgot to buy a Powerball ticket.  Walgreens is next to Wal-mart, so I went ahead and used my Register Rewards on the one thing that was getting Register Rewards back, contact lens solution. 

I had LASIK nine years ago, almost to the day.  I have zero use for contact lens solution.

And when I got home, I realized JUST how lucky I was, since, after baking cookies, I apparently turned the oven to BROIL and not OFF.  Yikes!  Someone was watching over our house today (and apparently getting a kick out of me not being able to do anything right!)