This is the second book in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. It is divided into two parts just like The Fellowship of the Ring. It moves a little faster than the fellowship does though. By the end of the first book the fellowship has been broken up and that is where we pick up the very beginning of this book. I mean we pick up right after that. J.R.R. did not write these books to have any lapse of time in between the volumes as a person might usually do. In fact, as I recall, J.R.R. wanted the entire thing to be one book, but publishers were like, “No way, that’s way too big. We can’t have a book that big, we’d run out of paper.” I don’t know if they actually said that or not. This led to a process of having to come up for names for the three volumes. The Two Towers was what this one ended up being called.

The first half of the book deals with Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Pippin and Merry. They are reunited sometime later in the book, but in the beginning they’re separated into two groups. Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are running, yes, running, for days on end to follow the hobbits. Merry and Pippin have been hobbit-napped by orcs. The orcs are under strict orders not to harm anything that looks like a hobbit. The hobbits try to leave a few signs of where they have went for the other three to follow. It’s not entirely successful, but they do manage a few things here and there. During a particularly nasty battle when the riders of the mark show up and start murdering all the orcs, Merry and Pippin get away. They make it into the forest of Fangorn. Apparently, everyone says bad things about the forest of Fangorn.

Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas make it to the scene of the great fire where the riders have burned the orc bodies. This was not before meeting the riders of the mark along with Eomir. Eomir gave them some horses to ride, which was awfully nice of him because I’m sure they were tired of running. The trio discerns that perhaps the hobbits made it into the forest. They follow their instincts into the forest and see some strange prints, but they also see something that is more welcoming. Guess who’s back! That’s right Gandalf is back. He wasn’t dead, but he is now Gandalf the white, he took Saruman’s title. Gandalf tells the guys that the hobbits are ok and they’re with a giant talking tree, we’ll get to that in a minute. The group rides off towards Edoras, the village of the horse people.

Meanwhile Merry and Pippin meet a giant talking tree, his name is Treebeard, but also Fangorn. He is the oldest ent in the forest. He acts as a shepherd to the trees who can’t really think for themselves. The ents have somehow lost all their women-folk and ask the hobbits about seeing girl giant talking trees, neither Merry nor Pippin has seen anything like Treebeard describes. When Merry and Pippin relay a few things to Treebeard he gets kind of ticked off. He calls a counsel of the ents. There Merry and Pippin are bored to death because it takes ents forever to say anything, but the ents do decide on a course of action. It is decided that all the ents will go to Isengard, they hate Saruman now. They also hate orcs.

At Edoras Gandalf rids King Theodan of something of a possession by Saruman. Wormtongue is there and Gandalf runs him off, but there is soon going to be a battle. The entire group makes for Helm’s Deep. There are some ferocious battles going on, but not elves. Do you have that? No elves. The elves do not come to Helm’s Deep to help fight. There are a few other groups of men that fight and some trees that come to Helm’s Deep and pimp slap all those orcs.

Then after this Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas ride off to Isenguard. There they find none other than Merry and Pippin. The ents have flooded Isenguard and Saruman is hiding in his tower. That’s the first tower for you.

In book two we cut to Frodo and Sam who are stuck in some mountainous pass of some sort. They eat a lot of lembas bread and know that Gollum is following them. They finally do catch Gollum. They make him swear on the precious that he will lead them to the gates of Mordor. Gollum goes along with this. They soon come to a marsh where dead people are under the water. The dead people happen to light little candles to try to lure people into the water. Gollum knows this trick and warns to two hobbits. Frodo kind of sort of trusts Gollum, but Sam despises Gollum and will never give him much trust.

They get out of there and travel to the gates of Mordor. There they find that the one way in is heavily guarded and they can’t possibly get inside. Gollum is like, “There’s another way.” So the hobbits go with him. Along the way they meet Faramir, from Gondor, and his buddies. Faramir is Boromir’s brother. He knows that Boromir is dead, but Frodo and Sam do not, they’re slightly sad, but not really because Boromir tried to take the ring. Faramir lets them go, but doesn’t trust Gollum, who he wanted to kill earlier.

Frodo, Sam, and Gollum get on their way up a treacherous path on the mountain side. They eventually go into a tunnel where they meet Shelob. We all know what Shelob is. The book kind of abruptly ends on Sam’s musings about a particular situation.

What I liked: This book does move faster than the first installment. There isn’t so much twig stepping and so forth. Even though Gollum is a brat I do like how he is depicted. I like that multiple personality thing he has going on.

What  I didn’t like: I think it’s kind of odd how the book is distinctly separated into two groups going two separate ways. The last half of the book is solely about Frodo and Sam. It seems like the action should be interspersed, you know, like the movie. I guess that is one way in which I have grown to enjoy the movie more than the books.

It seems to me that Aragorn is so much more full of himself in the books than he ever was in the movies. In the movies Aragorn is sort of like, “A king? I can’t be a king. I’m just Aragorn,” but in the books he’s all like, “Look at my sword it’s awesome. I’m going to be king when all this is over.” I still really like Aragorn, but I’m not liking this attitude.

Overall, this is a classic so you have to read it.

this stage of drawing/inking is finished, and im pretty happy how it has turned out. but i still want to add a background design, and i’m considering adding a second colour before i print it.

please check out my facebook page too [link]

Originally aired 31 July 2010

The DM recognises that old connections are no more and it is time to move on. The three wise men give baby DM gifts! The DM calls his girlfriend to tell her he’s gotten a haircut! Bohemond’s wife gets repudiated!

Starring:

Anton Manzabadman as Kevin

Eleni Chrysostomou as Rudyardina

Adrian Thurnwald as the DM and Roland

Written by Adrian Thurnwald

or RIGHT CLICK and SAVE TARGET AS to DOWNLOAD HERE

i’ve been seriously busy finishing my degree, then moving house – but importantly i have now set myself up in business as a freelance artist!  so i’ve been in the studio all week drawing, except for one day where i met a lady who wants me to supply her with dead bodies!

anyways. the drawings…

^this is a drawing i did a few years ago, just after reading singularity seven. this was my first introduction to ben templesmith and i was pretty amazed by his work. with my sketch, i was trying to do an ’embodiment-of-war’ type character, but the similarity to ‘the singularity’ from templesmith’s story is undeniable! anyway, i’ve always liked the drawing but never felt able to complete it, so i thought i’d re-work it from scratch.

these are the progress sketches, using pre-photoshop old fashioned skills of cut-and-paste – utilising photocopying, pritt stick, and tippex!

i started off with skulls, bones and tentacles, which had a real nautical flavour, so i added a ship’s wheel to the composition. the wip sketches speak for themselves, but i eventually dropped the wheel, as i just couldn’t get it to work because the silhouette was just way too busy for my taste.

and this is how the sketch currently looks..

the intention was always to create: what appears to be a satanic looking re-animated pirate-skeleton, who was brandishing the tools of his trade.

but if you look properly, there is nothing supernatural about that skeleton at all…

addendum:

wordpress has just informed me that this was my 100th post! it pleases me greatly that the subject matter is all about me getting back into my art.  :)

Frightening as always.

Chucky and the Child’s Play series has haunted my dreams ever since I was 8 years old. And, watching this movie again, it still sent chills down my spine. Leave it to movies of years past to make me want to piss myself when newer films today with all their special effects can’t do crap. What a cruel world. For those of you who don’t know, Child’s play is the story of a young boy who just wants a doll for a friend. Lo and behold, his mother comes through and finds him just the doll he wants. And he’ll regret that decision for the next two movies.

So the movie starts out like this. Old Wormtongue AKA Charles Lee Ray (Brad Dourif) is running from his ultimate

Say hello, Andy.

nemesis cop, Prince Humperdink AKA Detective Mike Norris (Chris Sarandon). The final face-off takes place in a toy store in some bad part of town and Chucky takes his voodoo training and places his soul in the body of a doll until he can later reclaim his life. And, a few weeks after, we find little Andy (Alex Vincent) watching his favorite cartoon, the Good Guy dolls. Pleading with his mother who busts tooth and nail to scrape through life for her son, Mrs. Barclay (Catherine Hicks) finds one from a sketchy drifter and his cart of goodies.

The events of the movie are amazingly supplemented by a big buildup to the point where you finally see Chucky’s true face. What I found more frightening was Chucky imitating the Good Guy doll he is inhabiting. “Hi I’m Chucky, wanna play?” in that sing-song voice of a demonic child haunts my dreams frequently. His eyes opening and closing reminds me of why I fear the technology known as animatronics. (Forget ever going on the

I can feel the poop in the pants already…

It’s a Small World After All ride ever again.) His blinks and innocent movements feign away from the evil animatronic face that hides beneath the facade. But when Catherine Hicks, mother of 7th Heaven swears her head off, you can bet Brad Dourif won’t let that bitch talk to him that way.

The movie turns into a wild goose chase of little Andy accompanying Chucky around the beaten streets of Chicago in search of a way to return to a human form. When it’s revealed that the worst must be done, it all comes crashing down for Andy. It’s a race against the clock for Mrs Barclay and Detective Norris

Your fate is sealed, in 7th Heaven, Catherine Hicks.

when they learn that Andy wasn’t lying, ever. As the tagline says, “You’ll Wish it was Only Make-Believe”, I’ve wished that for so long.

And not to mention the doll that Chucky is based on. Don Mancini must have drawn on some evil inspiration that graced his mind when he found Robert the Doll. Considered one of the evilest dolls on the face of the North American continent, Robert the Doll haunted Key West painter Robert Eugene Otto for his entire life. Talking to it and finding himself scared to death, Otto never left Robert’s side. Attempting to kill and curse anyone around him and even moving on his own, Robert the Doll to this day, being his old 104 year old self, will change his face to a mortifying, contortion of a grin. I was impressed with Tom Holland, slasher director extraordinaire, use of P.O.V. and a creepy sense of crawling around on the floor. The use of doll doubles mixed with actual animatronics has frightened me and will continue to do so as long as dolls exist in this world.

With this success this cult horror classic has created, there’s no wonder there are another 4 films after this one, and talk of a remake. Brad Dourif does a wonderful job of giving off a gruff thuggish voice and continues to do so. This movie went above and beyond the PG-13 rating and decided some F-bombs would be appropriate to show the extent of Chucky’s evil. This movie may be one of those B-rated horror films, but it broke ground for a kind of horror that freaks a lot of people out, dummies and dolls. If it frightens you, it’s done its job. And Child’s Play sure does that for me. Just for the poop in the pants, 7.4 out of 10.

And here’s the original trailer to set your bones on ice.

“the drowning of mr.wormtongue” [photoshop + wacom]

i scribbled for a good half hour before this started to evolve out of the mess i was making. probably spent an hour on it total. i find creating a sketch like this to be a very cathartic process.

it is very rough and ready – but combined with the title, i think i do like it!

_

Law and Order: Bigotry

Well, speaking of American Nazism… The third movie out of the hat turned out to be this late 80′s fictionalization of a murder case involving Civil Rights activists in Mississippi around 1964. Again, lovely light viewing. It’s refreshing to see young Willem Dafoe, his cut so clean, his spectacles so painfully hipster, running around flashing his FBI badge at racists and trudging through the Mississippi swamps. And then there’s Gene Hackman, who, I’m becoming increasingly convinced, has never been young. The pair skirt the line of ‘buddy cop’ cliches with almost balletic grace for the length of this intense, 2-hour examination of those on the front lives of the Civil Rights movement.

I think it’s important for me to give a little background on my understanding of US History. The Civil Rights movement was never really taught in English primary schools. We spent our days pouring over the sexual appetites of inbred rulers, queens offering cakes to starving peasants and Henry VIII’s record for the longest and bloodiest key party in monarchy history. As a nation, the only export of ours that could even hold a candle to America’s, other than our outrageous supply of Sticky Pudding, is history. We have plenty of it. And it’s crazy shit. From Roundheads to Tudors, from polyamory to incest, from incompetence to Neville Chamberlain, from international colonization to mildly apologizing for international colonization, we have a pretty long list of atrocities, both domestic and international, to cover. Thus, the efforts of great men such as Martin Luther King Jr. and John Lewis were about as well-covered and emotionally present for me as those of Gandhi. Important, historical, essential…but a world away.

So, when I came to the States and discovered things such as Black History Month and Martin Luther King Jr. day, I was taken for a loop. I had so much to learn. I was dazzled by a documentary shown to me in US History class called, “Eyes on the Prize”. Specifically, I was drawn to John Lewis, a man unconcerned with fame and was far more passionate about the cause and the outcome. Basically, my respect was cultured later in life. And this was problematic because…

Nailed it.

This class, along with all my other history classes, was taught by a white male. In fact, all of my perspective was offered by white males. I use this as an excuse for my reaction to Paul Haggis’ love-note to white-middle-class mentality that is “Crash“. When stumbling from the theater, I literally said, “Now I understand race.” I was a fucking idiot. My unabashedly liberal stroke fest that was Oberlin College helped me realize that.

Rant Number One: What I just described is what most movies are. This is the reason I detest The Help. I haven’t seen it and I won’t. I have seen Crash so I’ll talk on that. It’s so easy to Disney-fy these topics to make sure white people don’t feel too bad that they lock their doors when driving at 60 mph through ‘the rapper part of town’. These ‘challenging’ dramas are called ‘counterpoints’, but are nothing more than tools used to capitalize on our need to find any, any rationalization for our deep-seeded fear of urban culture. So, bearing that in mind, let’s talk about the movie I actually watched.

Mississippi Burning, I’d like to think, is not The Help. There is no Emma Stone, with cutely frizzed hair and oversized glasses chatting with black women. There are no ‘Hell Naws’. There are no token black comedic reliefs. There is no scene where they do the washing up and play with bubbles and… (let me reiterate that I have NOT seen The Help). Mississippi Burning has Willem Dafoe yelling about ‘Bureau Procedure’. It has burning crosses. Lynching. Exploding churches. Gene Hackman describing how his father poisoned a black man’s livestock because, “If you ain’t better than a nigger, what are you better than?” It has Michael Rooker, the Lawrence Olivier of rednecks, kicking black children in the face Ralph-Macchio-style. It has suicide, domestic abuse, ‘Jew boys’ getting shot in the face and a bunch of other fun things for the whole family!

I absolutely enjoyed every second of this movie. The acting is so engrossing, I just wanted to lick Gene Hackman’s balding head in the hope I can leach some of his talent. Dafoe as well (without the balding). I had all these jokes prepared about the Green Goblin and Lex Luther solving murders…but those assholes were too good to allow any of those to pass. Bastards. Side note: Hackman’s character’s main moniker in the film is ‘Mr. Anderson’. It is impossible not to giggle every single damn time Dafoe says, “Well, Mr. Anderson…” It even suggested the concept that perhaps this is the prequel to the Matrix, in which Agent Smith is so destroyed by what he saw from the KKK that he decided to subjugate the entirety of humanity… Or maybe that’s just me. It’s probably just me. Okay, I’ll shut up now.

Its unadulterated grittiness and violence dragged the film out of the clutches of that thematic black hole that is, “White People Solve Racism!” This movie, more than anything, is a chronicle of those that had to die to break down those social barriers. It’s about hate, its birth and its inevitable conclusion. There is a reverence, coiled in brutality, that is intent on reminding you of the cost of human life in these backwater towns down south. Where Triumph of the Will was a celebration of hate and its societal peak, this is a deconstruction and obliteration of its actual practice.

I would call him the Sidney Poitier of Rednecks except for…well…awkwardness

It does fall into a couple of sand traps along the way. There are barely any significant black characters in the film. It is not ‘based on a true story’, rather ‘inspired by true events’, in the fashion that Star Wars: Episode I was inspired by the true event of George Lucas taking a shit (ed: low blow). Thus, when the title cards read that these characters were sentenced to between 5 and 10 years in prison, it’s a little inconsequential. I mean, fictional prison could actually be a nasty place for all I know. It could be like Oz (the prison show on HBO, not the whimsical land beyond the rainbow)… and nobody wants that much nonconsensual cornholing. The ending is slightly too optimistic for its own good. Yay! The racists are in jail! Done and done.

Yeah…not quite.

One of the biggest assets this film has on its side is the presence of a Rogue’s Gallery of redneck actors. We have Brad Dourif, the voice of that gigglingly murderous doll Chucky and, of course, the blueprint of modern politics that is Grima Wormtongue. At least Wormtongue, for the backstabbing little shit that he was, could not be called a racist (well, on second thought…he was aiding a genocidal war…and he did follow a man all dressed in white who called himself a ‘wizard’… side-side note: Has anyone else noticed how silly the KKK’s ranking system actually is?). Then there’s R. Lee Ermey, who, when he isn’t calling you a ‘faggot’ and talking about the merits of rifles vs. guns and shooting vs. fun, is being threatened to have his scrotum removed with a razor blade.

Also, not to give away any spoilers, but I had to do a double take near the end of the film. When Hackman calls in his bros to crack some racist skulls against the heavy bronze balls of the law, one of the guys getting out of the car was none other than the Jigsaw Killer. You know, the dude who strapped people to chairs before forcing them to eat a horse penis before their intestines exploded and their thighs get cramped or their fingers crossed or given an uncomfortably hot coffee to drink…okay, I wasn’t really paying attention from Saws 3 through 6. The point is, when that happens in the film, you know the KKK is proper fucked. All they need is a reverse bear trap to put on their heads and…

Do not watch the Saw movies. You have better things to do with your life. Seriously.

The one other niggling (careful) annoyance is the police-procedural aspect of the plot. (Read in an exasperated voice) We have one straight-laced cop, one rogue. We’ve got the fish out of water, and the roughneck local boy. We’ve got the blah blah and the blah blah. He’s got something to prove and he’s got a score to settle. Yada yada fucking yada. Both Hackman and Dafoe do an excellent work breathing life into what could have decayed into archetypical hell. Still, Dafoe’s efforts to follow procedure, as always, are frustrated. These Mississippi folk won’t let the Federal Government tell them what to do. They have rights! They aren’t going to be intimidated by the fat cats in Washington! (Sound familiar?). So…what’s the answer? Coercion. Kidnapping. Enhanced interrogation. You cheer and clap when Hackman grabs Rooker by the nuts and makes him squeal like a pig. You laugh when they pretend to almost lynch one of the KKK jerkoffs. I feel this is problematic…

Hipster Dafoe solved murders back before it was cool.

Rant Number Two. When The Dark Knight came out in theaters, like every good fanboy, I creamed myself several times. Once I had changed my pants, I got into an unexpected, brutal argument with a good friend. His theory was that The Dark Knight, this bastion of honor and justice, was a conservative propaganda film. The only point that actually made me go “Huh”, with a pensive finger upon the chin, was a specific scene. Throughout the film, the Joker is always six steps ahead of the Batman. Finally, they catch him. Then Batman smashes his head against a table. Over and over again. The audience I saw it with cheered. They cheered police brutality. I mean, don’t get me wrong…fuck that guy…but it’s the principle. It’s difficult to justify protesting Guantanamo Bay and then rushing home to catch the finale of 24. Brutality and coercion are not good. On principle. And yet, in this dramatic format, its lauded because playing by the rules don’t solve crimes. Apparently.

So…this movie is great. It’s enjoyable. Tense. Violent. It makes you think without being too didactic. The performances are top notch, including a very pre-Cohen Brothers and very not-pregnant-policewoman Frances McDormand. See it if you don’t care for the white-washing of Civil Rights History…

…Even though all the main characters are white. And the director is white. And so is the writer. And…well…

I forgot where I was going with that. Now I just feel sad.

  

Like my friend Zoe, I also raided my parents’ book collection to find age-inappropriate stories to read.  At the age of 12, The Lord of the Rings caught my eye.  Now, this was back in 1979, when the books were widely popular.  You might be wondering what a 12 year old was doing reading such an obviously adult book.  Well, I thought it would be just like The Hobbit, which I read and re-read over twenty times.  When I tried to read the trilogy, though, my parents kept telling me it was way over my head.  I took this to mean I wasn’t allowed to read it, which made me want to read it even more.  So, I sneaked and picked up Return of the King at the library, because it was all that was available.  My mom found it hidden in my blankets and, sighing heavily, said I should at least start with Fellowship of the Ring.  So, I did.

Little did I know it, like the Ring, would consume me.

So, like I did when I was 12, I’ll cover Return of the King first.

The third part of the trilogy is divided into parts five and six.  After a three page synopsis of the first and second volumes, it jumps into covering the adventures of the remaining Fellowship: Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen), Legolas (Orlando Bloom) and Gimli (John Rhys-Davies); Gandalf (Sir Ian McKellen) and Pippin (Billy Boyd); and Merry (Dominic Monaghan).  The second half of the book tells of Frodo (Elijah Wood), Sam (Sean Astin) and Gollum’s (Andy Serkis) journey into Mordor.

As long as the movie is, it expertly tells these two separate tales simultaneously and brings them together to a satisfying conclusion.  True, not everything is relayed from the book to the movie.  For one thing, if director Peter Jackson had included everything, the movie would have been impossibly long and difficult to sit through without an intermission.  As much as it pained me to see key elements of the story omitted and reinterpreted, like Saruman (Christopher Lee) and Wormtongue’s (Brad Dourif) escape from Isengard to the Shire to breed trouble and discontent, I knew the reason why it was left out and I could live with the re-telling.

The excitement, for me, was finally seeing the book that changed my life made into an epic film adventure (I don’t count the awful cartoonish 1978 version).  From the opening scenes depicting Smeagol’s theft of the ring, I watched on the edge of my seat.  Some may argue that they acting wasn’t all that great, but I beg to differ.  It was an ensemble cast and the actors portrayed their parts well and truthfully.

This is the final movie in Jackson’s film classic trilogy and, by far, the best adaptation of any fantasy book I’ve seen to date.  Roger Ebert also agrees with me about the movie, and the trilogy as a whole.  Like him, I recommend this final installment of Lord of the Rings very highly!

by Jamison Wieser on flickr Creative Commons
h/t to Crane-Station to save my marriage

Sycophant King

He favors tailored navy blue suits that look exactly the same

And white shirts decorated with solid silk ties

Perfectly pinched below the Gordian knot

That binds him to the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

He majored in deception and has picked many a pocket clean

Wearing his practiced smile of starched white teeth

Flashing like a strobe in an after hours club.

He reached the top the old fashioned way –

Kissing ass

Taking credit for other people’s ideas

Daggering them in the back with whispers made of lies.

No one knows what he really thinks and neither does he

Because he thinks like the people he seeks to please.

Now that he’s reached the top there is nothing left to steal

No one with whom to share a thought

Only angry ghosts seeking revenge.

Who shall shed a tear

For the sycophant king?

Cross posted at my regular blog, Firedoglake/MyFDL, and the Smirking Chimp.

by Jamison Wieser on flickr Creative Commons
h/t to Crane-Station to save my marriage

Sycophant King

He favors tailored navy blue suits that look exactly the same

And white shirts decorated with solid silk ties

Perfectly pinched below the Gordian knot

That binds him to the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

He majored in deception and has picked many a pocket clean

Wearing his practiced smile of starched white teeth

Flashing like a strobe in an after hours club.

He reached the top the old fashioned way –

Kissing ass

Taking credit for other people’s ideas

Daggering them in the back with whispers made of lies.

No one knows what he really thinks and neither does he

Because he thinks like the people he seeks to please.

Now that he’s reached the top there is nothing left to steal

No one with whom to share a thought

Only angry ghosts seeking revenge.

Who shall shed a tear

For the sycophant king?

Cross posted at my new law blog, Firedoglake/MyFDL, and the Smirking Chimp.

Priest, to put it simply, is the story of a priest. But not any ordinary priest. This particular priest is of an order of priests that

Paul Bettany. He messed up that familiar.

was created for one sole purpose. To eradicate vampires. And not your everyday human-turned  vampires. These vampires are creatures, fearful of  light and hungry for human flesh and blood. And they can only be defeated by the light they fear or priests, the greatest super-weapons on the face of the Earth. And the priests have done this. Now in retirement in the “near future,” these priests roam the streets hated by their fellow humans for representing the state of fear they all once held.

But not is all well. The vampires were placed in “camps” in order to repress any more outbreaks. But they have risen in great numbers to attack the humans once again in their high-walled cities. Led by Black Hat (Karl Urban), these creatures will stop at nothing to kill every human on Earth. So, once Priest’s family has been assaulted and his daughter kidnapped, he must pick up his crosses once again in order to protect those he loves. With the help of Hicks (Cam Gigandet), and a fellow Priestess, (Maggie Q) this rag-tag group of vampire hunters must run against the clock in order to save their world. And do they? Well, please watch it and find out.

Nice tatoo.

Well, let me just say 50% of this movie is top-notch actors. Paul Bettany, it goes without saying. His dramatic, A-rated acting never fails to amaze me, despite whatever role he may take on. (Some of my favorites?: Knight’s Tale, Master and Commander, A Beautiful Mind, and, of course, Legion) And, in my opinion, Paul Bettany always gets better. Maggie Q gives a great supporting role as a fellow Priestess. Despite most of her role being focused on action, she brings a

Maggie Q. Always looks good walking away from an explosion.

dramatic/romantic element to the movie. Karl Urban, for the third time in his career, pulls of an action villain worthy of the movie. And Cam Gigandet, well… he’s just doing his own thing. Not anything special. And Brad Dourif (Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings) makes a surprise appearance as a vampire “cure” seller. All-in-all, Paul Bettany carries the acting load in this film.

Nice save. And nice movie.

The director Scott Stewart, is primarily a special effects guy. Other than Priest, he’s done (surprise) Legion. But his special effects really come out in this film. Probably why they released this in 3-D. But I really feel (although I’ve never read the graphic novel) that this movie does the graphic novel justice. Or I would hope that it did. I really thoroughly enjoy films like this, and I feel there will always be people out there like me that enjoy action films with a new twist. And it’s movies like this that really give me hope for a future of movies that don’t necessarily look promising. So thank you Scott Stewart and thank you Min-Woo Hyung, the creator of Priest, for bringing about what I looked forward to for 5 months. 8.6 out of 10.

I have my own version, and having read the book it seemed an apt moniker.  Snivelling, lazy, introverted and procrastinating, my inner wormtongue is a vision of my collected and framed misdemeanours – not so much specific actions but more a state of mind.  The collage is full of retreats, sickly and insipid in nature, shrivelling into the darkness to snarl bitter curses at the winter drizzle and glare balefully at the mirror.

Having often wandered loose and lost in the last 12 years,  it helps to remind myself of the stagnant, wretched wormtongue  stalking the back passages of my mind.  Vigilance is vital, though it’s hard when the world seems to veer up, shiny and inpenetrable, the temptation to rock back and duck among the debris can be overwhelming.  Internally, the bile shifts and wafts in tides when the mind turn on itself, the rancid air frothy with opportunities missed and self flagellation.

Is the grimy dawn I am struggling to once again loosen the sinuous grip.  Not for the first time I have my crosshairs glimmering and a deepset scowl limbering up on a glazed over brow.  We’ve fought too many times, wraith like, emaciated and entangled his tools sharp and nasty snickering in the air, lithe against my more occasional sledgehammer and odd  primal attempts at a kind of excorcism.

The time has come again.  Heavy lifting required.  The descent into a flickering, grainy darkness must be crumbled and daylight rain.  Like always, it will require not just will, but a belief in a future, to see beyond the here and now.  I know what the way down feels like, I bear the weight of my history.   It has been the present for so long that it’s hard to imagine an alternative.

But occasionally, small beads of clarity thread through the flummoxed torpor of endless internal warfare, and the sound of the sea pulls a serene sun into a pale sky, the dew quivering with soft promise.

It’s still far off, for now.  In the meantime I can sense a wetness in the eyes, a ripple across the surface and the thunder wind up in the throat.  The bombosculation restarts tonight.

I think W. tried it a bit with the whole manly cowboy thing and flying out to the aircraft carrier in a jet, but Lil’ Bush was such a numb-skull you really had to believe that most of his decisions were made by Ol’ Dick “Wormtongue” Cheney.  You don’t get the impression that anybody is whispering in Putin’s ear.  And I have to think that if any body did attempt any manipulation on the Russian Prime Minister he’d probably rip that persons throat out with his bare hands.

I guess what I’m thinking is that maybe our politicians should be more like superheroes or something.  Of course if they were superheroes we’d probably vote for them more out of fear of their laser eyes or their crazy gargantuan strength then because of any merits of their political beliefs and goals.  Part of me wonders if this is how Arnold “The Governator” Shwarzenegger became governor of California.  I mean maybe there are just a lot of Californians who were like “He is a fucking killer cyborg from the future right? Yeah, I’ll vote for him.”

I imagine Putin’s got something similar going for him.  A lot of Russians probably tell their children that if they don’t eat up their borscht then Prime Minister Putin will come and punch them in the face with a vodka bottle.  I sure as hell wouldn’t mess around with the dude.  Sure it helps that he is probably the most powerful person in the remnants of the Soviet World Superpower and probably has a good sized nuclear arsenal at his availability but I think a lot of it is just the fact that the guy is a bad ass.

And that is what I think we need more of: politicians who are bad asses.  I mean we don’t want corruption or tyrants by any means (and Putin probably falls close, if not into, both of these categories) but somebody who doesn’t get pushed around, who says what they are thinking and people listen, and who might be referred to as a “son-of-a-bitch” or “daughter-of-a-bastard” (I honestly don’t know if there is a feminine equivalent to “son-of-a-bitch”* but their should be for equality sake).  We need leaders who aren’t pushovers and know how to lay down the law and who are respected (both for their political prowess as well as their ability to wrestle bears and fly blackhawk helicopters).

Politics, especially here in the States and likely everywhere else as well, strikes me as such a drag.  It seems like a mire of ineptitude and pettiness mixed in with the general soul crushing doldrums of monotony and unproductivity.  This is why it could use some quality larger than life amping up.  Again, Putin might not be a saint but at least he can convince most sane people that he is more than capable to kick just about anybodies ass if they try any sneaky shit or fuck aorund too much (take note of the Georgian war in recent history).  I bet if Obama did some classy photo-ops practicing kung-fu and maybe took a little flight on a SR-71 Blackbird (yeah they’ve been retired, but bringing them back would be half the effort of winning the bad-ass creds) that you would get a lot of the pundits to shut the fuck up about this or that and the state of is presidency.  It was a nice try with the whole beer thing just last week, but let’s be honest, just because you sit down and have a Bud Light doesn’t really make you all that awesome or tough . . . shit in the very least put back a few Colt 45s and slurredly explain how much shit W. left for you to clean up.  I’d respect that.

*Note of Son-of-a-Bitch:  Look, a little bonus contemplation!  A few years back (One? Two?) I read an article in Esquire (the ever clever periodical of most things awesome) about how “son-of-a-bitch” might be one of the best insults ever created (I couldn’t find the actual article but here is Esquires time line of Great Moments in Son-of-a-Bitchery. Note that Putin makes the time line).  The thing with calling someone a “son-of-a-bitch” is that while it is certainly intended as being insulting there is a kind of complimentary quality to it.  If you are fortunate enough to be referred to as a “son-of-a-bitch” it means you are that special certain individual who might not give a flying fuck about other people and every once and a while might just shoot a man to watch him die (Johnny Cash was most definitely a son-of-a-bitch in high degree), but there is a kind of rugged nobility to it.  On the other hand, referring to some one as an ass-hole means that they just kind of suck and are real dislikeable scumbags. 

Thus, as I stated above, I think that we could use an insult of equal worth to son-of-a-bitch for women (in pursuit of the whole equality of the sexes kind of thing).  Everybody know the most common female insult titling of “bitch” which is certainly appropriate for a number of people.  Then there is the hardcore c-word (which even as a regular profanity using individual, I strive to avoid uttering).  There are a number of others too, all demeaning and rough, but none that seem to affirm the same quality of character as son-of-a-bitch does.  Hence my proposition of “daughter-of-a-bastard” which seems like a legitimate feminine equivalent to son-of-a-bitch.  Perhaps some of you have you own ideas.  I’d love to hear them.

I was the first to leave anyway, which is either a very good or very bad thing.

At the risk of repeating myself, I’m still looking at a 1 for Maths and a high 2i / low 1 for Architecture.  So everything’s been going rather well.

I got a new game a couple of days ago.  Lord Of The Rings: Conquest.  It’s quite a good game.  For a LotR simulation it’s quite well implemented; the missions are realistic(ish) and, on Legendary difficulty, damn hard.  One thing I’m not certain about though is the overpoweredness of some of the classes.  I like the fact that it is very well balanced, it’s hard to favour one class above the others as they all have their uses.  But for example, whenever you have a boss objective, no matter what it is, “kill Saruman”, “kill Sauron”, “kill Wormtongue”, etc… it’s just time to find the nearest class changer and go Rogue, sneak up behind them, and one shot backstab them.  I’m not certain that it’s a fitting tribute to a dark lord that’s lived thousands of years and controls dark armies and oh yeah who is also immortal to just be one-shot ganked by a single human rogue.

I’ve only really been doing the coop campaign though, I’ve not tried online much.  It seemed a bit…. badly paced, when I tried it.  Like, it takes both too long and not long enough to kill someone.  It was only a hero battle though, so perhaps some normal ranked battles will have me thinking more of it.

I also purchased a Video Capture Card for Kaine in preparation of the possibility of machinima creation.  I’ve temporarily removed my PhysX card since.. I don’t actually think I was using it and had no drivers for it.  And I wasn’t sure what it was doing taking up a whole PCI slot and a power cable, greedy card.  Either way, a few online games and stress tests later and I fail to see any difference.

[EDITTED SECTION OUT]

The final point for tonight is that Lost is officially on US screens for the fifth season.  That’s actually a major part of why I’m still up, in fact.  I’m waiting for the streamz.  That’s the theory anyway.

In practice, I’m very tired and hungry, and will probably fall asleep or starve long before streamz present themselves.

And I’m down to 15 litres of Pepsi Max.

The Lord of the Rings:

The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120737/

The Two Towers (2002)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167261/

The Return of the King

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167260/

Regi: Peter Jackson

Manus: Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh og Philippa Boyens, basert på en bok av J. R. R. Tolkien.

Med: Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Sean Astin, Orlando Bloom, John Rhys-Davies, Andy Serkis, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Liv Tyler, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Sean Bean, Hugo Weaving, Cate Blanchett, Bernard Hill, Brad Dourif, David Wenham, Miranda Otto, John Noble og Karl Urban.

Spilletid: 558 min (9 t og 18 min)

Det er ingen overdrivelse i det hele tatt å si at disse tre filmene helt alene har gjort Peter Jackson til en regissør som nå får lage akkurat hva han vil. Tidligere var han kjent for skrekkfilmer med lavt budsjett og mye blod og gørr, som Braindead og Bad Taste, den falske dokumentaren Forgotten Silver og den Oscarnominerte Heavenly Creatures. Etter megasuksessen med The Lord of the Rings har han laget sitt eget ønskeprosjekt, en ny versjon av King Kong, i tillegg til at et slags thrillerdrama kalt The Lovely Bones er på vei i 2009.

Castet til trilogien inneholder en mengde av talentfulle skuespillere, både nye stjerneskudd som Orlando Bloom og Elijah Wood, mer erfarne folk som Viggo Mortensen, Liv Tyler og Sean Bean og kan til og med slå i bordet med å ha hele tre sir’er med, Ian McKellen, Ian Holm og Christopher Lee.

Det er vanskelig å oppsummere alle historielinjene fra tre filmer i et avsnitt, men hovedsaklig dreier The Lord of the Rings seg om ferden den lille hobbiten Frodo (Wood) må ut på for å ødelegge en ring så mektig at den vil snu hele Middle Earth over til ondskapen om den ikke blir ødelagt. På veien får han hjelp av trollmannen Gandalf (McKellen), den rettmessige kongen over menneskene, Aragorn (Mortensen), alven Legolas (Bloom), dvergen Gimli (Rhys-Davies), kongssønn Boromir (Bean) og hobbitene Sam (Astin), Merry (Monaghan) og Pippin (Boyd). De blir delt opp på veien, og hver blit involvert i det siste og avgjørende sammenstøtet mellom godt og ondt på sin egen måte.

Jeg leste boken av Tolkien før filmene kom, på barneskolen en gang. Jeg var automatisk storfan, og når jeg hørte den skulle filmatiseres, syntes jeg det var en av de beste ideer jeg noensinne hadde hørt. Jeg hadde billett til premieren på den første, 17. desember 2001, klokken 17.00 eller rundt deromkring. Premieren gikk samtidig over hele verden på den første, på de to neste ble den vist fra midnatt i hver tidssone. Jeg vet ikke hva jeg forventet av filmen, men når jeg gikk ut var jeg helt lamslått over hvor genialt det jeg hadde sett var. Litt mindre enn et år senere fikk jeg frysninger på et helt nytt nivå når jeg fikk se traileren for The Two Towers for første gang, og et år etter det igjen hadde jeg det fullstendig storveis på første rad i kinosalen i Kopervik i det jeg fikk se den mest overlegne trilogien noensinne bli avsluttet akkurat sånn den burde.

Historien er jo et klassisk eventyr, men den finner jo også mye styrke i subplotene, Aragorns kjærlighetshistorie og ikke minst stoltheten og håpløsheten som finnes i Gondors kongehus, der både kongen Denethor og sønnene hans Boromir og Faramir er av de klart mest interessante karakterene i filmene. Den verdenen Tolkien har skapt, er og blir den ultimate arbeidstegningen for fantasy, og de fleste andre låner kraftig fra hans arbeid.

Hvis det er noen filmer som skal konkurrere med Star Wars-filmene i detaljrikdom, så er det disse. Og LOTR vinner også den kampen lett. Har du sett noe særlig av ekstramateriale på dvd’ene så kan du ikke være uenig med meg. Alle kostymer og våpen er lagd til filmen, med inskripsjoner og utskjæringer til minste detalj. Det er også gjort en fantastisk jobb med prostetisk sminke, der orkene er av de beste eksemplene. Stort sett alle “skurkene” ser jo helt fantastiske ut. Nedenfor en video fra åpningen av den første filmen, der vi ser litt av dette.

Her ser vi jo også litt av de utrolig gode visuelle effektene de bruker. LOTR gjorde nyvinninger på området, og brukte en ny programvare for å simulere store mengder vesener under slag. I tillegg perfeksjonerte de “motion capture”-teknologi for å skape karakteren Gollum, som spilles av Andy Serkis, mens selve kroppen på filmen kun er dataskapte bilder laget etter Serkis faktiske bevegelser. I tillegg brukte de også smarte løsninger for å få rikitg størrelsesforhold mellom mennesker og hobbiter, ved å lure oss perspektivmessig, eller faktisk lage to like set, med forskjellig størrelse.

Skuespillet er veldig bra etter min mening. Jeg vil trekke fram Ian McKellen, som gjør det spesielt bra som Gandalf, ellers syns jeg Sean Bean er en veldig bra Boromir. Men generelt sett er det veldig bra skuespill over hele linja, ingenting som jeg reagerer på eller syns er dårlig.

Det mange klager på er vel muligens hvor lange filmene er. Jeg er kanskje ikke den rette å spørre, siden jeg koser meg i verdenen, og bare vil tilbringe mest mulig tid der (liker veldig godt de utvidede versjonene av filmene på dvd). Men jeg kan være enig med at det blir litt lang tid sammen med entene i The Two Towers. Såklart har det sammenheng med at de konstant kutter vekk fra det utrolig spennende slaget i Helm’s Deep, men egentlig trengs det jo for å forklare ting framover i historien, og det gir også et lett drag av komedie. Ellers får jo slutten(e) på The Return of the King mye kritikk, folk mener at det er altfor mange slutter etter hverandre. Jeg er uenig, og ser egentlig ikke noen annen måte å gjøre det på enn det er blitt gjort. Det er altfor mange historier vi vil vite hvordan ender til at vi kan kutte ut noen av de scenene.

Musikken er jo også noe av det bedre som er blitt laget til storslåtte filmer de siste årene, den fungerer veldig godt sammen med lyddesignet, som resten av filmen er det veldig profesjonelt og detaljert gjort. Dette får en også eksempler på på dvdene, der du kan se scener med alle lydlagene individuelt.

Kort sagt en trilogi med filmer som jeg er utrolig glad i, og har sett et utall ganger. Av de mange favorittscenene mine, så kan jeg nevne Boromirs dødsscene. Eller, egentlig først den scenen der Boromir prøver å ta ringen fra Frodo, og så satt sammen med den faktiske dødskampen, som du kan se nedenfor. Legg forresten merke til den vanvittig stilige kamerabevegelsen ned gjennom hele skogen ganske i begynnelsen her.

Den andre jeg vil vise er fra The Return of the King, og er helt fantastisk klippet. Jeg vil applaudere den som kom på å sette sammen de to scenene på den måten, det kunne ikke fungert bedre.

Kritikerne gav for det meste LOTR den skryten de fortjener, og det haglet seksere på terningen. Oscarmessig gikk det også ganske så bra, der The Fellowship of the Ring vant for Beste kinematografi, Beste visuelle effekter, Beste sminke og Beste musikk (også nominert til 9 andre Oscar), The Two Towers vant for Beste lydredigering og Beste visuelle effekter (nominert til 4 andre) og The Return of the King tok fullstendig kaka med Beste lydmiksing, Beste setdekorasjon, Beste kostymer, Beste sminke, Beste musikk, Beste originalsang, Beste klipp, Beste visuelle effekter, Beste manus basert på annet materiale, Beste regissør OG Beste film (11 totalt). Det kan vel kanskje argumenteres for at The Return of the King fikk litt betalt for hele trilogien på en måte, men i såfall syns jeg det er helt på sin plass. Vel fortjent.

På IMDb gjør de det også bra. The Two Towers har 8.6/10 med 259 107 stemmer, og ligger på 31. plass på top 250. The Fellowship of the Ring ligger litt høyere, på 20. plass. Ratingen er 8.7/10 med 311 448 stemmer. Aller høyest av trilogien ligger The Return of the King, med 8.8/10 etter 282 349 stemmer, noe som setter den på 14. plass. Forresten litt spesielt at den tredje filmen har flere stemmer enn den andre, noe som kanskje kan komme av at The Return of the King lå veldig høyt oppe tidligere, og folk som ikke har sett den stemmer 1/10 for å få den lenger ned på listen uten å ha sett den. Det er jo en uheldig bivirkning av IMDb-systemet. Nedenfor har jeg som vanlig funnet fram trailere for filmene.

(digger den musikken fra Requiem for a Dream, selv om den er overbrukt etterhvert.)

Om du har sett denne trilogien, de beste filmene jeg har sett, så legg igjen en kommentar! Jeg avslutter med Theoden, kongen av Rohan, sine ord når alt ser mørkt og håpløst ut i møte med de overveldende styrkene til Saruman:

Where is the horse and the rider?
Where is the horn that was blowing?
They have passed like rain on the mountains.
Like wind in the meadow.
The days have gone down in the west.
Behind the hills, into shadow.
How did it come to this?

Let’s change tack a bit. 

Saruman.  Why did he fall?  Because he studied the works of Sauron too closely, too deeply. 

If you’ve read any biographies or analytical works about Tolkien and his life, you will find this danger in the study of evil also in his life.  It is the reason in part for tensions between Tolkien and Lewis.  In Screwtape Letters as well as his Space Trilogy, Lewis delves deeply into the mechinations of the devil.  …Just some food for thought.

 Back to Lewis’s Weston/devil.  He sounds a lot like another character, doesn’t he?  It hit me recently while contemplating Tolkien’s views on evil.  Weston :: Wormtongue.  They are tantilizingly similar.  Both use a twisted partial truth to corrupt and attack.  This also extends to the Ring, of which I will go into more detail later.