November 28, 2009

 Americans love or hate Mexico.  Our family loves Mexico and Mexicans, hence the Mexican Thanksgiving and our study of Spanish and the Mayan history and pyramids, California was once part of Mexico and this whole region is just a part of the world where migration has been going on for a long time so Mexicans and people of California should be mixing cultures and languages and ideas freely.  This book fair which encourages cultural exchange of books, music and ideas is a wonderful thing.

 But there is an uglier side of the border.  There are people who believe in keeping Mexicans out.  Who see Mexicans as “them” as “other” and some of these people take the law into their own hands. The Minuteman Project isn’t exactly the KKK, but they are a racist organization that confronts the “evil of Mexicans coming into the U.S.” just as the KKK addresses African Americans who marry Whites and Jews who move into White neighborhoods. 

 Percival Everett wrote a wonderful book called Wounded about homophobia and racism which won a PEN award a couple years ago, came out with Graywolf.  I keep thinking the planet will move beyond this, but we are so crowded on this little place.  We seem obsessed with space and place, with border and class, with privilege and lack thereof, we want what we do not have, we exclude, we covet.  Mexico is a country with an amazing history, but economics drive many Mexicans to want to come here to make a living and economics drive some people to want to make the wrong kind of living, and there’s the rub.  You can’t live in a perfect world.  Mexicans built this state.  You can’t imagine, California, New Mexico, Arizona, Texas without the great country of Mexico.  Mexico is where we run to, where we hide, where we party; in our movies, it is the great stopping off place.  Oh, Mexico, when I go there tomorrow, I will dream in Spanish again, and I will remember how I wanted once to marry a Mexican and live there always.  And I will remember that there are always places you cannot go, fences, borders.  Even here in my own little house.

 Right now, I am sitting in my husband’s office as my computer is still in the shop and I am watching our crippled cat Corky come to the door.  The cats have been trained not to come in to this office as this is where we have foundation meetings, so we can’t have cats come in here.  Even crippled Corky knows this and she is sitting quietly at the door.  The way this training happened was with juggling balls; he would toss juggling balls at the cats thus warning them not to come in.  Cats are smart, but they always could not figure out where the balls were coming from.  Corky just got removed and I think about that.  See, maybe there never was a need for juggling balls.  (My husband would say there was.  We had six kittens sneaking into his office at one point.) But there are always boundaries and borders, but why are we shutting people in and out?  I cannot see that beyond that, but I want to.  Maybe when Michael Alexander’s Grand Performances plays in Guadalajara, there will be some moment, when we will see a future with no barbed wire.

She wants to know “What’s so wrong if I like him?”.

The “Christian” guy cheated on her. But this guy is nice, they’ve connected. She trusts him.

He wants to know “So what if “he is a really nice guy”, he treats you well, you won’t date him?”

The “Christian” guy hasn’t made the move. But this guy is nice, they’ve connected. She trusts him.

If you are single, and have been around the Christian bubble for more than five minutes, you’ve heard the verses, and with the best of intentions recited them yourself.

Guard your heart. Don’t be unequally yoked. He will give you the desires of your heart.  Paul even said it was better to be single. Run after Christ, and when you turn and see someone there next to you – That’s “him”.

When the cliches wear off.  What will stop the lingering looks and flirtatious touches?

It’s Christ.

And Only Christ.

Is Christ the center?

Is Christ the treasure?

Is obedience to Him and bringing Glory to Him the highest calling?

Rest knowing that you are Loved even in your loneliness.

Remember whose you are, and all He has brought you through.

If that’s not enough, you’re looking for fulfillment in the wrong relationship.

A student opened fire at a university in the southern Hungarian city of Pecs Thursday, killing one student and wounding three other people, a university spokesman said.

Zoltan Gyorffy, press chief of Pecs University, told Reuters the shooting happened at the biophysics research institute and the attacker was a pharmacology student.

He said the student opened fire and killed another student. Another student, a teacher and a cleaner were seriously hurt.

“Both the attacker and the victim were Hungarians,” Gyorffy said.

Ambulance spokesman Pal Gyorfi confirmed that one person died in the attack and said three more were severely injured.

National news agency MTI said the police had caught the 23-year-old attacker, whose motives were unknown.

Police declined to comment and said they would hold a news conference.

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Two bombs within minutes of each other exploded at a restaurant early Wednesday in Iraq’s shrine city of Karbala, wounding at least 26 people, police and medical officials said.

An Iraqi soldier stands guard along a highway near Karbala. (AFP Photo)

The first bomb targeted diners inside the restaurant in the heart of the city, located 110 kilometres (69 miles) south of the capital Baghdad, around 9:00 am (0600 GMT), causing several injuries, police said.

However, a second bomb minutes later, after an ambulance and medics had arrived to help the wounded, caused most of the casualties.

A senior health official for Karbala province told AFP that at least 26 people had been wounded in the attacks.

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Three bombs exploded in India’s restive northeast Sunday, killing five people and wounding more than 25, police said.

Five people died after two blasts went off within minutes of each other outside a police station in Nalbari town near the Assam state capital, Gauhati, a local police official said.

The official, speaking on condition of anonymity as he is not authorized to speak to the media, said about five minutes later a third blast occurred a few miles (kilometers) away. More than 25 people have been wounded in the three blasts.

India’s northeast is beset by scores of conflicts. More than 10,000 people have died in separatist violence over the past decade. The region is home to dozens of separatist groups who accuse the government of exploiting the area’s natural resources while doing little for the indigenous people.

Assam’s Inspector General of police Bhaskar Mahanta said authorities suspect the militant separatist group United Liberation Front of Asom is behind the blasts. No group claimed responsibility.

Mahanta said the bombers had parked two bicycles fitted with carriers packed with explosives outside the Nalbari police station, which is located in a congested part of the town. These went off, killing passers-by and wounding the others.

Mahanta said police had received intelligence reports suggesting that the ULFA was planning to avenge last week’s arrest of two of the group’s leaders.

Last week, suspected ULFA rebels triggered a powerful explosion, derailing a freight train and setting more than a dozen oil tanker railcars on fire in Assam.

The ULFA has spurned the Indian government’s offer to hold talks with them on condition that the group give up violence.

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KABUL – A suicide bomber riding a motorcycle killed 16 people, including two children and a policeman, and wounded at least 23 others Friday in a busy city square in western Afghanistan, officials said.

Suicide bomber

Provincial Gov. Rohul Amin said the blast occurred about 55 yards (50 meters) from his compound in a crowded square in Farah.

Afghan police shouted “Stop! Stop!” at the motorcyclist before he detonated the explosives, provincial police chief Gen. Mohammad Faqir Askar said. It was unclear what the bomber was targeting.

Amin said the 16 killed included two children. Dr. Shir Agh Asas at the hospital in Farah city said several children also were among the wounded. A police officer also died.

“These days Taliban are causing high casualties because the foreign forces and Afghan forces have been conducting operations against the insurgency in the region,” Askar said.

Read More…

or: Let’s all be honest, you would rather find boas than bombs in a closet

or: fun fact, gays can smell terrorists…but sadly they can’t tell us

Right now in Washington D.C., there are investigations in to the recruiting policies and monitoring of enlisted soldiers as to their religious affiliation in congruence with the mental stability of our soldiers. These hearings and investigative panels, of which there was one Thursday led by I-Joe Lieberman, are the direct result of the alleged actions at Fort Hood on Nov. 5, 2009, by Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan. Investigations are going to delve deep, eventually, and massive overhauls of privacy rights for soldiers and further screening in recruiting as well as monitoring while in the armed forces will come, doubt on this can be none. These findings of the panels will be arbitrary at best on an isolated incident that has been categorized as ‘terrorism’ before the blood even dried in Texas. What will come out of this fear is policies put in place to allow for the government to monitor and spy on it’s servicemen and women…but what if they find something they don’t want to? How does this new ideology that will come from the aftermath of this tragedy affect the long standing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy put in place under Bill Clinton? Reconciling our fear of attack and the consequences of full disclosure run contradictory leaving us in nothing less than a moral and legal stalemate.

I foresee that within six months from now panels will find that monitoring the personal e-mails, contacts, phone records, and personal interactions of its soldiers as necessary to the further security of this nation. It will be stipulated that extensive background checks will be called for, and recruiting standards are going to come under close scrutiny as to allow for enough soldiers, but not let in too many ‘questionable’ individuals. What will occur is that each soldier will have to agree to give up their civil liberties, which to some extent they already do, but they will now be under full discretion of the Patriot Act and every facet of their lives will be a matter of military record and available for review at all times. Psychological exams and test as well as regular counseling and drug testing will be mandatory. Before enlisting every soldier will be subject to military, and the finding of the hearings will also dictate an outside department, the FBI, to fully screen every single candidate. Becoming a solider will now become a moment of being all that you can be, and then letting the government see exactly what that is, intimately.

Will this be the right path? Time will tell, as will public outcry or protest from soldiers, but it will happen. The nation is terrified at the possibility of the very idea that some ‘terrorist’ could possibly infiltrate US military defenses, weapons stockpiles, et al, and as with 9/11 we will allow for the government to take any measure to assure our safety. No doubt that incidents against Muslim servicemen and women will go up, we probably won’t hear about it though. As a minority, especially of middle eastern decent, they will be profiled and most likely scrutinized further than anyone else; they will be unfairly profiled, this is America and that is our knee-jerk reaction. Sorry. What will follow will be a Muslim witch hunt that will both embarrass and weaken the strength of our branches of the military. The shifting eyes from soldier to soldier started on that day, don’t pretend they didn’t, and now we are weary of one another which leads to fear which leads to incidents. Indeed.

Well, how does this effect those in the military who are under a prime directive put forth by the Commander in Chief, the President of the United States? What happens to those men and women serving, or wanting to serve, in the military who have something to hide because it is the law? For those in the military who must keep their sexual orientation and relationships secret, don’t you think that with enough snooping for terrorists we might uncover a few gays? “Sir, Private Jones is not a terrorist, he’s a queen, sir.” What then? It kind of defeats the purpose of a law that stipulates that a serviceman will not initiate a conversation on the nature of a soldiers orientation, but what if an investigation does the leg work for him? Then we have a primary issue, once it is known the soldier must be discharged, right? That’s the law. Wait, but we weren’t looking for gays, we were looking for terrorists. Look the other way then, but wait, that soldier is a gay…back to the shifty eyes.

What these investigations present us with a need to take a good, long look in the mirror as a nation and decide where we draw the line. The end result of this incident, the longest standing victim besides those killed, injured, and effected, will be the policies of full disclosure and something I think will be called the ‘Servicemen Activities/Identity Transparency’ act, or “say-it” (SA/IT, get it?), the antithesis of the DADT policy of today. This will, of course, require that we have full disclosure from all troops on all subjects, but this might be hard without first ending the DADT policy of the last nearly 17 years. Installing this policy shift without repealing DADT will be one slippery slope indeed, you cannot have two orders that are so utterly contradictory; they are both compromised by the presence of the other. We, as a country cannot have a full investigatory policy of all servicemen and women without first coming to terms with what we may find and how to deal with it. Has anyone even given a thought as to how we would arrest, imprison, court martial, sentence, or just discharge, a serviceman or woman…if they were either gay or a terrorist? How the hell would either of those proceedings go? We need to, before putting in new policies, decide about the end game and what the consequences might be if we got our wish and started outing people.

It is clear that there is a fundamentally philosophical issue at hand, “How much do we want to know to feel safe?” We are shining the light of scrutiny in to the closets of our citizens, and some of those closets may be quite flamboyant; that is not a military issue boa. What will happen to our puritanical beliefs and ‘ignorance is bliss’ mentality when we find answers to questions we weren’t asking? We want safety, but we don’t want [to know about] queers; what the fuck do scared, bigoted lawmakers do!? Well, I think in the interest of national security after this singular isolated incident of ‘terrorism’ by and ‘islamic extremist’ that is not the fault of policy or of any specific layer of governance, that we need to DO something; or at least appear to do something. We will rape the civil rights of soldiers and sodomize personal privacy for the good of the nation. However, this cannot go on while DADT is in place. I think I speak for everyone that, in this matter of relative safety, we can’t have two standing orders that contradict themselves; “Say It” and “DADT” cannot both be followed, and in the interest of the people’s feelings of safety, we might want to get over ourselves and be open about…everything, so as to further secure this country. I can’t speak from experience, but I would rather the man in a foxhole next to me be a confirmed ‘gay’ than a suspected ‘terrorist’, but that’s just me.

So, I pretty much feel like a slacker. I have so much to be thankful for, and my “month of giving thanks” is starting as the month is coming to an end. 

The last thing that my life needs is something to be legalistic about. Feeling that I must write “because”…..

I refuse to have something that I love become a miserable noose.

So, I’ve been laying low over here at julieUnscripted. It’s been a bittersweet combination of living life and not writing about it, joy and frustration, complete chaos in the midst of the most consistent schedule I have ever had.  Having less possessions and  less money than ever, being more mindful of the kingdom of God, yet somehow finding myself more complete . And then there is being out of, into, and back out of my “fat pants”.

Plus my computer’s hard drive died.

Today, I am thankful that we were created for community. Thankful that I need you, and that you need me to be real and vulnerable, and that you embrace me, my mess, but don’t let me stay there. I am thankful that you are still here. Thankful that you are still checking in.   Thankful for friends who refuse to leave me to myself and refuse to let me shut down and become a recluse. Friends who pull me closer, even as I shove away.  Thankful for those whom I have never met encouraging me. 

Let’s hug.

And we can all be thankful that one day I will have an editor who will correct my grammar, and unsplit my infinitives, yet still let me be me.

Philippians 1

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, ⁴always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all,  5in view of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now.

 6For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

 7For it is only right for me to feel this way about you all, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace with me.

 8For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.

 9And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment,  10so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ;  11having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Groups spend millions so the flag can wave,

But have we forgotten the Vets and the sacrifices they made?

We all love our flag; when we see it, we stare,

Politicians cutting benefits, is it really fair?

With our country at war, we had to go,

The politics behind it, we didn’t even know.

Our freedom was at risk so the politicians did say,

Our brother Vets need help, no one wants to pay.

As elections draw near, all promise to do their share,

As time passes by, they really don’t care.

When we returned from war, we came home alone,

Now they close the hospitals and send us home.

Many lost his legs on Iwo as he led the way,

Now 50 years later, he now has to pay.

“Injuries aren’t that bad,” say the Powers That Be,

Ask Joe who at 18 lost the ability to see.

We all love the flag, but it’s just cloth and string,

But as guys in Name said, “It don’t mean a thing.”

Veterans gave us our freedom we enjoy this day,

Yet we elect politicians who turn the other way.

Michael D. Monfrooe

WhiteHouse.gov—The President looks back at a week where we honored those who serve on Veterans Day, and mourned those we lost at Fort Hood. He discusses the review he has ordered into the Fort Hood incident, and pledges to stand by our servicemen and women, as well as our veterans, as his most profound responsibility.

I have to say I am loving my friends on Ravelry. Beyond just their wacky silly wonderfulness.. the giving generosity and love they show everyone each and every day is absolutely humbling.

I posted in a local group asking if any one wanted to make a special (something to be revealed later) for my friend Joe.  No one locally (despite the fact Joe is two hours away) wanted to make what I had in mind. I posted in my other friends group and with in hours people from ALL over the world were joining up to craft away. There are people from Africa for petes sakes that are joining. I was floored.

I haven’t talked to Joe since Vet’s Day. He has had some doctors appointments and much to tend to. I cant wait to tell him there are a group of complete strangers digging in to show their love say thank you and share a little piece of their life with him. Just to let him know hes not alone.

Not Alone.
Two profound words for  a man who made sacrifices to keep our freedom safe. Two words that will mean more to him than things we take for granted every day.

Ravelry Friends are Awesome…..

What is happening when someone constantly refers to the past with its painful memories or bitter things – as  if the past  is still haunting them?

Some things that occur in our  lives can be extremely bitter experiences and things can leave  a memory ’scar’ that can come back to bite. These hurtful memories can pop back up in unguarded moments of personal sorrow or regret.  When a person finds that they are revisiting the past and still feeling the pain, it’s like the pain is saying, “hey, something is wrong  that needs fixing”. It’s kind of like a waking dream – a recurring dream that can be telling us something within needs addressing, maybe an unresolved issue.

To further explain about pain:  when we feel it in our bodies it’s a sign that something is amiss with us physically. Why shouldn’t we therefore, when feeling emotional pain and the past ‘revisiting’ like this, see that as a symptom of something that needs healing? Also, when something continues to hurt emotionally it can affect the body  as well. For example, depression can led to lethargy. (More the  matter of depression soon.)

The emotional pain of an  old wound continues to smart. He might say, “She hurt me so much! I’m still mad she betrayed my trust, I can’t get over this…” or she might say, “I feel just TOO humiliated. Everyone in the room heard how he put me down. I felt so small and I can’t forget. My self-worth  has suffered since.” The past comes back to haunt after any traumatic  event – maybe no words were said, something horrible was merely seen. Anyway anything that causes a wound can stay, come back and hang around like the pain that it has remained.

Some can keep the pain of this recurring past in because they may  be fearful of the discouragements of others. Sometimes it is that a hurting soul can hear the following words only once and they will nurse the pain of this past hurt, that won’t go away, all alone.  These words are something like,

“Get over the past! Pull yourself  together”.
or
“Well, you can’t go back and change things so why dwell on it?”
or even more hurtfully:
“Get a life!”.

Are words like these at all helpful to the hurting person? Words like these are basically saying, that the wounds are not going to be validated.  I have found that with hurting people that when they want to talk  about it that FIRST they require validation; someone to let them know that it is ok to feel what they are feeling. They need the door to healing open, not slammed shut with words from people who do not want to help or understand. Validation of what someone  is going through may be a start. The next step, well, talking, getting  positive council.

Years ago I read a book entitled  Healing of Memories (the book is now called “Redeeming the Past”)  by David Seamands. Books like these let us know that yes healing is  possible and the pain is real and the soul experiencing it can be healed. Being honest about one’s need will  be a primary step and allowing oneself to be vulnerable during the time of repair. It may take time, but from today …that’s a start.

Part nine of the dysfunctionals series. Edited and republished from Y360 07.

ETHNIC, RELIGIOUS GANG FIGHTS AFTER SCHOOL IS NOTHING NEW IN CANADA, I SAW THE SAME THING IN MONTREAL DURING MY PUBLIC SCHOOL DAYS TOO. But I do have to say parents and the recession, economy  firstly have set the tone, the environment for the fights. Both Working parents have no time to look after the kids, and both parents often fighting amongst each other over acquiring more money, paying the bills does not help much.. and it does affect the children’s school grades negatively now too.. but blaming the fights on the schools or the lack of policing is a false cop out.

Saskatchewan school locked down after firearm stolen from car outside building Wed Nov 11, 7:41 PM  CANDO, Sask. – Police are investigating the theft of a rifle from a veteran’s vehicle that resulted in a school lockdown in rural Saskatchewan.

do see also http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/11/10/albertan-hate-crimes-awareness-day/

MAJOR BATTLES IN THE

SOUTH PACIFIC, WWII:

MIDWAY-ALEUTIAN ISLANDS-

GUADALCANAL-SOLOMON

ISLANDS-GILBERT &

MARSHALL ISLANDS-

MARIANAS & PALAU ISLANDS-

VOLCANO & RYUKYU ISLANDS.

ATOMIC BOMBS AT

HIROSHIMA AND NAGASAKI.

This is Lance Corpral Tom Neathway. He is a hero.

As you can see he’s missing both legs and his left arm, this is due to being injured in war. Earlier in the year I watched a BBC documentary called Wounded. The title was described the programme perfectly as millions of viewers were able to see soilders recovering from their injuries in war. I’ve never really been one for sitting and watching programmes about war, as many of the nation will agree I find them boring and sometimes too upsetting. The thing that got me interested in Wounded though was the contrast between the two main featured soilders on the programme. Firstly we were introduced to Andy Allen who was the more seriously injured of the two.

I’ve never met anyone who had lost limbs and could only imagine it to be an extremely painful process to go through. Losing limbs that you take for granted is one of the hardest things to imagine. Watching Tom on screen I was taken aback. He had shrugged the whole process off as if it was just a cut. To Tom the whole process was a whole new challenge in life. We watched him learn how to walk again, how to use a prostetic arm and we were even shown Tom walking on his new limbs to recieve his medal, which brought a tear to my eye…and I NEVER cry at television.

My point of this blog today isn’t just to tell you how inspiring Tom is (who is now a skiing instructor!!) But to mark 11th November which is the anniversary of the end of the First World War. Every year throughout the UK the Poppy Appeal is everywhere in sight to sell Poppies to donate money to commemmorate the Armed Forces. Alot of Media sources are saying that younger people don’t care about the Poppy Appeal and are uneducated upon the matter. So if you don’t know why poppies are sold have a look on one of those websites above.

Maybe some teenagers are ignorant about the fact that people are out their fighting for the country and they may not have supported the Poppy Appeal, however for those of us that do know what it’s about, we should make sure that we pay respect to those that are out there today, could be out there tomorrow and those that will fight in the future.

Most importantly though, remember those that have fought in the past.

The President hosted a remarkable group of wounded veterans a few weeks ago on the White House basketball court. These “Wounded Warriors” from Walter Reed Army Medical Center showed President Obama a thing or two about wheelchair basketball. Check out the impressive moves that can be performed on four wheels.

About the Wounded Warrior Project

The Wounded Warrior Project began when several individuals took small, inspired actions to help others in need.

One night while watching the evening news, a group of veterans and brothers were moved by the difficult stories of the first wounded service members returning home from Afghanistan and Iraq. They realized then and there that something needed to be done for these brave individuals beyond the brass bands and ticker tape parades.

The resulting objective was to provide tangible support for the severely wounded and help them on the road to healing, both physically and mentally. What had been initially viewed as a small contribution (compared with what the warriors had sacrificed while serving our country) has become WWP’s signature program: “WWP backpacks delivered bedside to wounded warriors.” Wounded Warrior Project is a nonprofit organization.

Wounded soldiers come away from a battlefield cut, bruised, broken.

Well, living can be like that – like a battlefield. It seems the time comes  for us all that we don’t escape the tragedies of living. We can be cut and damaged. And if nothing occurs to heal that wound inside it remains, a scar  inside. After a period of time the wound may recede from  memory but some trigger, maybe a conversation with or about someone  who caused the wound, or a scene in a movie or revisiting the place where it occurred, or any poignant thing could act as a trigger – the  memory thus resurfacing the pain.

After we have lived some decades we are a collection of these  wounds – some fresher than others. We seek pleasure and pleasurable company and things to bring happiness. Sometimes these wounds get  healed. I find that in a practical way to hasten healing is talking.  Talking with a councillor is good. You get objectivity, and sympathy.  Sometimes overly burdening close friends is too much on  them but whatever, humbling oneself to seek help through counsel  is a step in the right area.

We take care of our bodies  why not our souls? Chinese evangelist Watchman Nee defined the soul as “mind, will and emotions”. So within that definition I will  use that word “soul”. A good general practitioner will have a holistic  approach to overall health as they know that emotional well-being  is good for the body! And so in this recognition we all should seek to care for ourselves this way.

Sometimes healing comes through circumstances; a wonderful thing happens. I knew a man some years back who had had a very unhappy marriage. After  the divorce he met a lovely lady and remarried. He said to me, when he found out I was newly divorced back then, “One
day the right  one will come along for you.” Looking at his shining eyes, I couldn’t have been more convinced of his happiness.

The heart needs to hope. The heart needs to hope in the essence of goodness – and the essence of what is good, including the fulfilling of heart longings that end in good results.

Some people, however  will not cease to be victims of their wounds, and they can remain victims  throughout their lives. Whether manifesting through bitterness, denial, guilt, mind-over-matter (pretentious) behaviour or whatever  way this dysfunctional ‘professional’ victim status remains, stunting their personal emotional maturing and causing self-harm and harm to others.

There, therefore, comes a time when  through life beating one down that one finally has to survive; to  say:

I will no longer  be a victim. I was wounded but I will no longer let that wound  control my thinking, feelings and decision making. I will take up the  reins of my life and stop being a burden to myself and to others.  I choose to walk in my resolve to be healed – and all the little and great things I now do will help me. In Grace I will work to achieve that.

This choice for life and healing takes courage, yes, and it may well require that a person will need to think on the other  side of their brain– the rational decision making side, rather than the reactionary/emotional side – maybe even for the first time. It’s like  a person has been thinking on an emotional level for so long they’ve  neglected their intelligence and the choice to make practical change.

The wounded person stands up and decides to THINK, decides, then walks….

This is the second part in the dysfunctionals series. First published in 2007 at Y360, edited and republished for AE’s Views.

A group of wounded veterans from Walter Reed Army Medical Center show President Obama a thing or two about basketball on the White House court.

Between Memory and a Promise

I get angry at the ease with which you
breeze through life – know it is not all it seems,
pain and pathos exist; yet, you’re carefree…
whether by choice or design is open
for debate by those who wish to question.
As for me, I sit back and watch it all.

Music from the past pushes me backward,
music from today, coaxes me forward.
I sit between memory and a promise,
momentarily uncertain. No vows
hold me any longer, except those
inside me – newly born to myself.
I can be true to me alone, until
I’ve healed from wounds still too fresh to ignore.

Siobhan
11-08-09

I know the pain
You feel inside
Is more than you
Can pretend to hide

The warrior’s skin
You wear outside
Can’t protect the heart
That beats inside

The enemy our own
Once on our side
No one heard
When his heart cried

So to honor the wounded
And friends who died
You will go to war
With a soldier’s pride

~Dedicated to my friends Jon and Shannon.  Jon was among those brave soldier’s helping his injured friends during the Fort Hood shooting.  May God bring peace to you both.

Jonestown was a settlement in Guyana, South America. Founded in the early 1970s by religious cult and socialist group, The Peoples Temple. The population peaked in 1978 at over 900 residents. The temple’s leader, Jim Jones, had billed it to his followers as ‘the promised land’ and ‘paradise on earth’. However, those who went to live there told a different story of armed guards, meagre rations and brutal discipline. Several tried to escape as Jones forbid people to leave. Those who made it back to the United States told harrowing stories. One woman who escaped warned that a mass suicide of everyone in the camp was planned. Concerned relatives of people in the group convinced an American Congressman, Leo Ryan, to make a trip to Jonestown. He left with some of these relatives and news crews on November 14. By the evening of November 18 Congressman Ryan was lying dead on an airstrip. After a fairly uneventful visit to the settlement, several residents had come forward to either Ryan or his aide, Jackie Speier, or had approached one of the news crews to say they wanted to leave. Though giving the appearance that he was ok with it, Jones did not want anyone to leave and began to put his final plan into action. Ryan was attacked, but unhurt, by a Jonestown resident wielding a knife, then he, Speier, the news crews and defectors all departed Jonestown. They were bound for the nearest airstrip to fly to Georgetown, Guyana’s capital city. As they boarded the waiting planes a tractor-trailer containing some of Jones’s most loyal followers arrived and the men inside began shooting at the Ryan party. Leo Ryan, defector Patricia Parks, photographer Greg Robinson and NBC cameraman Bob Brown and news reporter Don Harris were all killed by the gunfire. Jackie Speier, reporter Tim Reiterman and NBC sound engineer Steve Sung were among nine injured, Speier critically. Back in Jonestown Jones was commanding his followers, who were surrounded by armed guards, to take cyanide poison, mixed with flavor-aid drink. Some took the potion willingly, but many were forced. The event was captured on audiotape. There were only nine people who were in Jonestown as the poison was being taken and survived. 916 died including Jones, who was killed by a gunshot to the head, his wife Marceline and some of his children. At the temple’s headquarters in Georgetown temple loyalist Sharon Amos shut herself in the bathroom with her three children and slit their throats. After the mass murder/suicide the remaining members closed down the movement. Jonestown stayed deserted until the Guyanese government allowed Hmong refugees from Laos to live there for a few years during the early 1980s. By the late 1980s the buildings of Jonestown were virtually destroyed in a fire and what was left was abandoned and has since, mostly, been reclaimed by the jungle. Thanks for reading.

Back to the scene of the crime.

It is possible for a person, that has been severely wounded by life,  to suffer a cauterisation or a stunting from the time  that that overwhelming emotional experience occurred. For instance  when a person feels rejected by another person they can continue  to put themselves back into a place when the rejection first started.  It’s like time has stopped somewhere for them. They need to go back  to that place, kind of how a chronic gambler needs refrequent poker machines,  in an effort to right the wrong.

But of course this can’t  happen – maybe only in dreams. However, in ongoing living, the wounded  one will still make the attempt to go back to the ’site’ of the ongoing  trouble. It may not even be the same person(s) involved or the same  kind of circumstance, but a similar one. This dysfunction is a symptom of the pain. And yes it is pain.

To site some examples:  I knew a man whose father left in emotionally volitile circumstances  when he was a small child. The mother would not have any more to  do with her ex spouse. The child grew to adulthood but, pitifully,  if an older man came along, like an older friend or mentor figure,  he would latch onto that older man and begin to imitate him, even  to the point of speech and attire. He was looking for the father that  had left. That wasn’t too hard to see. The man’s behaviour was very childish, attention seeking and he became easily excitable.

A young woman finds herself constantly under a barrage of discouragement  and emotional abuse by a parent. Her reaction is to take on a rebellious  way. Nonetheless she ever, from that time on, seeks to win her  parent’s approval and develops a codependant behaviour to the point of obsessing about that parent.

Rejection can be an overwhelming  emotion. A lover is spurned by the other one and somehow they have  to make the feeling of rejection go away. I can think of horror stories where people have tried to compensate for the rejection but  anyone reading this probably could think up a few instances so I won’t go on. And as little children we can have that sense of being loved  but along comes adolesence and there we are in that inbetweeny stage of personal maturity. Feelings of rejection can make their presence keenly felt at this time in life. Peer group pressure really works, and, for instance, the people who market products aimed at teens rely on it in their advertising.

A  question right now could be how such feelings of rejection may have influenced  us all at some point in our lives? What did we do, how did we overcome?  Was it just a matter of time or personal success in life or some  new love? As it is said “time heals all wounds” – but does it? Is the human heart such a deep and profound well that is can foster, or fester, wounds that we are too used to bearing or feel too humiliated  to address?

Third part of the dysfunctionals series. Edited and republished at AE’s Views from Y360 2007.