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14.06.09

Dear Diary,

This morning when I opened my eyes, I could barely resist the need to close them again. Although I had a full nights sleep… It hadn’t been restful. My entire night was spent chasing her. Ever since yesterday afternoon she has been with me. I still haven’t managed to banish her from my mind, my thoughts. Are they even my thoughts? They seem completely dedicated to her. After what seemed like hours, I reluctantly pulled away my covers and got out of bed. I walked over to my window, opened my curtains and stood there looking out. I remained there for minutes… hours… an eternity, with her. When my thoughts finally managed to break through hers, I wandered into the bathroom. Today’s shower wasn’t the quick affair it usually was. I kept finding myself idly standing under the torrent of warm water just picturing her face. After I managed to get myself clean, I dried off and got dressed and again I would find myself idly standing there midway through putting on an item of clothing only picturing her face.

When I was clothed enough for people to see me, I wandered downstairs to get some breakfast. Upon reaching the kitchen I found that someone had finished the cereal, the peanut butter had been eaten and my family was going to be out all day. Well… that’s what the hastily written note on the bench said. I was going to be alone with her all day. Lucky me.

For the first hour of my solitude I tried to watch TV, read, listen to music, cook and even just sit completely still staring at a wall. No matter what I tried, I wasn’t really alone. No matter what I tried, I was trapped in my mind, tormented by my memory of her, my memory of that feeling… that strange, unexplainable feeling that had led me to her.

During the second hour I gave up, I couldn’t be alone in my house any longer. I grabbed the house key, locked up, and started walking towards the park that’s just around the corner. When i got to the park, it was unusually full. Where there was usually a few starving birds and empty fast food wrappers, copious amounts of families had sprung up. Parents and children played and giggled… and she stood with me watching. I managed to grab a few thoughts of my own, enough to notice that today was also perfect. The sun was high in the sky and bathing the park in a slight, barely noticeable warmth. It did nothing but remind me of the previous day. Standing in the middle of that unfamiliar street, in that unfamiliar neighbourhood looking at her. I didn’t know who she was, but she wasn’t unfamiliar. I can safely say that I have never seen her before, but I’ve never known anything more familiar in my life.

After wandering around the park for what must have been half an hour, I realised it was no use. No matter where I was, no matter what I did, she was always going to be there with me. I think that was about the moment when I decided that I had to see her again. Not just see her, I had to meet her. I had to know why I was led there. What she was. Who she was.

See you tomorrow,

Ryan.

Saturday the 13th of June 2009.

Dear Diary,

Today something strange happened. I had gone outside to feed Meko, like mum asked before she left for work, when I got a strange feeling. I felt like someone was watching, and strangely enough someone was. There was a guy standing a few houses down… not someone I recognized so I don’t think he lives in the neighbourhood. He was sort of tall, with dark brown hair… maybe black. All he was doing was staring at where I was standing… at me. His eyes seemed to be glazed over like he was really concentrating and his mouth was turned up at the side like he was unsure about something. He was standing really still, like I had caught him by surprise and he didn’t seem to notice that I was staring back. A minute passed before his eyes refocused, then they quickly shot down to the ground. I was too interested to look away, but I think he was embarrassed, his cheeks were slightly flushed. I stood there for a few more seconds before I decided to go back into the house.

I remember that I locked the door behind me, just in case. I had heard stories about home invasions happening in the middle of the day… people always talked about how they were spontaneous, just someone taking advantage of a not-so-lucky situation. I didn’t want to risk that. I think I went into the kitchen afterwards… Yeah, it had been lunchtime and I decided to cook something to try calm the butterflies that were running rampant in my stomach. I grabbed one of the recipe books that were sitting on the shelf and decided to make some kind of pasta thing. Honestly, my mind wasn’t really with me. No matter what I tried to do, I couldn’t stop thinking about that strange boy. Who was he? What had he been doing on my street? Why… why was he staring at me…

Something told me that he was ok, but i still had my doubts. So far my judgement when it comes to guys hasn’t been that good. Though whenever I thought of him in less-than-nice situations his eyes kept flashing into my mind. His eyes were intense… but kind. Even with the glazed over look on his face I had to admit, he was kind of cute… I wish I knew who he was. I wish I knew why he was looking at me.

Love,

Amanda x

… god. I wish I knew why he was looking at me…

13.06.09

Dear Diary,

This morning when I opened my eyes, there was nothing but grey skies and rain – an impending storm, as per usual. I eventually managed to get up and open the curtains – blinding sunlight, just my luck. As exciting as showering and getting dressed was, I won’t go into detail, though I did find my jacket that I’ve been missing for the past few weeks, that left me wondering that maybe today will be different…

As soon as I was changed, I was out the door. I practically ran till the end of the street… just in case. They mustn’t of heard me leave or just didn’t care enough to stop me, though whichever the case, today… today was different.

Once I was a few metres around the corner I slowed my pace, I was free. I don’t really know why I left the house today… I just had a feeling that I was meant to be somewhere… somewhere else. I wandered idly from street to road, road to place, even down a terrace or two. I didn’t wander with any particular direction, though there was somewhere I was being led… pulled, as if by some unseen force… or a long forgotten memory… I didn’t know where I was headed, but somehow I knew where I was going.

After what seemed like hours I reached a neighbourhood that was nicer than mine… a street that was nicer than any I had seen ‘Olivia Crescent’, even the streets name was more beautiful than any from where I lived. As I entered the street with the tiny wooden fences and pretty little houses, each perfectly set in the centre of a perfectly manicured lawn, the pull began to wane. Wherever I was going, I was getting closer. It was about halfway down the street when I felt it. Nothing at all. Wherever I was meant to be going, whatever I was meant to be doing – it was right in the centre of this pretty little street.

At first I just stood there admiring the houses, they were all nice, not extravagant, they had the warmth of a home with only the slightest scent of money. As I was looking back along the path I had come, I noticed a house that stood out slightly. It was a white house, like those that surrounded it… but it appeared to be glowing. I know, it sounds stupid, but that is the only way I can describe it… the house was glowing and then I saw the unseen force that had led me there.

I will always remember today for two reasons. Today someone, somewhere decided to change the course of my life and today… today was the first time I saw her.

See you tomorrow,

Ryan.

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As Europe makes repairs to its shiny new particle accelerator, U.S. rivals prepare to steal the prize.

Investors aren’t the only ones feeling a pit in their stomachs lately. Physicists at the world’s biggest particle accelerator, the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, are seeing their dreams of Nobel Prizes go down the drain along with the Dow. The collider was sold to the European public as the best chance of discovering a piece of subatomic debris so important to our understanding of the universe that it’s been dubbed the “God Particle.” Less than a month after scientists flipped the switch on the new machine back in September, however, it broke down. Repairs will take a year.

The wait itself isn’t so bad—particle physicists are used to biding their time while technicians fix their big, delicate machines. Now, though, a U.S. rival seems to have exploited the lull by staging a last-minute comeback, threatening to leapfrog the Europeans to the prize. This week scientists at Fermilab in Batavia, Illinois, will announce new data that not only narrows the gap between them and the coveted God Particle, but also suggests that the LHC may not be particularly well placed to make the discovery at all. The finding is a public-relations blow to the LHC and tarnishes Europe’s newly burnished image as a leader in Big Science.

The problem is partly of the physicists’ own making. The LHC, completed last year at a cost of €3 billion, triggered an American-style media blitz. The BBC devoted an entire day of radio programs to the project. The world’s press ran headlines like “Mankind’s Greatest Experiment,” “Hunt Begins for Secrets of the Universe” and “The Shot Heard Round the Universe.” (NEWSWEEK put the collider on its cover, too.) One account described the LHC itself as the “God Machine.”

Perhaps the biggest mistake was in creating such high expectations for what is only one of many goals, though arguably the most important: to discover the Higgs boson (a.k.a. the God Particle). Whether the Higgs exists goes to the heart of particle physics—if there’s no Higgs, the “standard model” of the universe that physicists have been honing for a half century would need major revision. Finding out entails sending protons around a magnetic racetrack and then smashing them into one another at high energies. The LHC, the argument went, is the only machine big enough to reach the energies needed to make the Higgs (if it exists) appear.

The only problem with that story is that it might not be entirely true. The standard model predicts that the Higgs will fall within a range of energies—from 114 giga-electron-volts to 185 GeV. The LHC is, without question, master of the upper portion of that range. Using it to hunt the Higgs at the lower energies, however, would be like shooting quail with a cruise missile. Fermilab’s smaller Tevatron collider, it turns out, may be better suited. The Higgs, the new Fermilab data show, does not exist for a portion of the upper range, putting it in the Tevatron’s cross hairs and suggesting that the LHC may be more peripheral to the search than previously thought. “We’ve made their jobs a little bit harder,” says Fermilab physicist Dmitry Denisov, “because we’ve excluded the region they’re good at.”

European scientists are putting a brave face on the news. They emphasize all the other things the LHC is expected to do, such as uncovering evidence of higher dimensions and the mysterious “dark matter” thought to make up 70 percent of the universe. “Seeing the Higgs boson is really a small part of the game,” says Sergio Bertolucci, the LHC’s director of research and computing. If the Higgs turns out not to exist, LHC data will help in figuring out why not. If Americans are first to find the Higgs, the LHC will help confirm the discovery and embellish it with detail.

Fermilab scientists, in their magnanimity, are eager to agree. “We could not compete with LHC,” says Denisov. “Our detectors aren’t as modern or complex as LHC’s. But to be able to reach this unexplored region of the universe first is, of course, creating a lot of excitement.” The findings come as a much-needed morale boost in Batavia. The Bush administration had cut Fermilab’s budget, creating a brain drain to Geneva. Now the lab’s 900 scientists have begun to feel young again. Cars can be seen in the parking lots on Saturday nights as researchers pore over experimental data. In the past four months, 30 new Ph.D. students have signed on to help with the research—an increase of 25 percent. “That really helps us,” says Denisov.

Missing the Higgs boson would be a setback not only to the LHC, but it also might lower Europe’s appetite for big, expensive scientific projects that don’t have direct relevance to pressing problems like climate change. For the time being, of course, the poor economy has turned all spending into stimulus. When the crisis settles and the bills come due, however, the physicists in Geneva might want to have some dark matter or a few extra dimensions to show for their efforts.

Feel free to visit my Blog. This my first Blog, and i know nothing about blogging. that’s why my Blog doesn’t contain fun stuff. But next time, i’ll fix it. And for you who have comment for me and my Blog, just leave it. It’ll be very important for me. Thank you!

This is my picture :

Left to right :

Mr. Gultom, Me, Echon, Della, Emi (Kajol)..

Now that the Republican House of cards has crumbled, let’s not waste the opportunity, perhaps it might be the only opportunity, to restore the Constitution and give Americans their country back.

It’s pretty simple really, give the country back to the people. Strap down the lobbyists with very limited accessibility to the D.C. window. Have public funding of all campaigns with no loopholes. Take our right back to print our own money, trash the Federal Reserve (private corporation) by enforcing President Kennedy’s executive order 11110. Abolish the electoral college, it is no longer a viable mechanism for electing our President. Enforce the Anti-Trust laws on the books, there are too many monopolies that have destroy competition, the fundamental backbone, at one time, of capitalism. Stop funding the clandestine operations of the CIA with drug money. Break down the CIA into a much smaller Department, with extreme oversight. Treat all countries people, equally and fairly, we are tied too closely with Israel, and Israel is too involved with our corporate underground. Let the truth be revealed about 911 and Israel involvement with that. Rescind the Patriot Act, the most diabolical set of measures ever enacted to subvert the Constitution. End the privatization of our governmental responsibilities. Do all this and abolish all the legislation and executive orders of the worst criminal this Nation has ever known. It needs to be done in case the former winners come back and we won’t then have a chance to do it. Don’t let them come back and write their history in OUR history books!

Obama knew what low-life crap they would throw at him way back in July!

by Rob Kall

Close to 100 million Americans received mailers last week, or will receive them next week that will put the last nail in the coffin of the McCain Pailin campaign.

It wasn’t sent by Obama, nor by 527 group, not by any non-profit or even a political organization.

It didn’t mention McCain or Pailin, Obama or Biden. Didn’t mention taxes or Iraq, Gay Marriage or Abortion or any other campaign hot button topic.

But the mailer, personalized, received by tens of millions of Americans, perhaps 100 million, in the past week, or in the next week, is the single envelope that will have caused John McCain and many republican incumbents to lose their seats.

I got one addressed to my youngest son on Thursday, then another addressed to me on Friday.

Then I talked to friends, members of my synagogue, fellow activists at a local fundraiser. Just about everyone had received them. The message was the same for everyone.

Th first envelope I received, for my son, was a quarterly mutual fund report– where we have most of his college savings. The letter reported that since the beginning of the year, the savings were down 30%– even though the fund was a “blend” fund.

The next envelope, which I received on Friday, was a quarterly report on my IRA, also down over 30%.

These reports were sent out on September 30th, before the market dropped an additional 19%.I knew the numbers I was looking at were much worse, just ten days later.

Tens of millions of Americans, maybe over 100 million Americans have received their quarterly statments this week for IRAs, mutual funds, 401Ks, etc.. They’re all get a mailer that is causing much pain, much stress, acute realization that the economic crisis has hit home.

They’re probably still arriving, as I write this, for a few more days. We’ve seen the result in the polls. The response will grow. The pundits, if they’ve guessed this is about anything else, are probably wrong.

It’s hard to imagine, after eight years of Bush and primarily Republican rule, most Americans not concluding that the GOP and its approach to government and the economy caused their pain, their loss, their fear for the future.

It’s hard to imagine McCain’s campaign getting anywhere with their desperate gambits– abortion this week, what, terrorism next week? Or raising taxes? They saved the average family $2000 or $5000 in taxes over the past eight years and cost them $35,000 or $200,000 in lost retirement savings or depreciated home value.

No. The most powerful election-affecting mailer this cycle is being sent by the financial companies that so many Americans put their trust in. Those quarterly notices are all Obama needs. If he and the DSCC and DCCC congressional campaign committees are smart, they’ll run ads this week referring to those notices. They’ll remind the voters who discontinued the regulations that prevented financial institutions from leveraging themselves so badly– Henry Paulson. They’ll remind voters who pushed for earlier deregulations– Phil Gramm, McCain’s primary economic mentor.

But that’s all icing on the cake. Obama and most of the Democrats running for congress could probably do almost nothing, from this point on (they don’t want people to think that, of course. They want the campaign to re-double efforts.)

These are sad times. Reality is far more powerful than any campaign words. For the neocons, the corporatists and their theocon supporters, the chickens have indeed come home to roost– and they’ve shit all over almost every American. Now, go out and ask anyone you talk to and tie the mailer together with the election, if they haven’t tied it together for themselves yet.

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