"Eu os encontrei juntos"... "Quem?" .. "A Alex e esse menino, Alvaro"..."Juntos como?" ... "Ela estava em cima! Enrabando o filho dos seus convidados!"

Eu sou cinéfila, muito cinéfila. Mas por vezes, as obrigações, a faculdade, a difícil vida de escragiária estagiotária estagiária, e as festas  me afastam dos sites de downloads e das tardes e noites de filme e pipoca com calda de chocolate.

Eu gosto de filmes que me fazem chorar. Eu sou chorona por natureza. Choro nos comerciais do Bradesco, aqueles sobre desenvolvimento sustentável, choro por qualquer coisa. Na TPM, então, nem se fala, choro até em comercial de margarina! É difícil não se emocionar, vendo aquelas pessoas Happy-family-life-style de sorriso colgate, tão felizes com seus pães besuntados de margarina tão amarelinha…

Enfim… Eis que há bem pouco tempo, recebi a ilustre visita de duas mochileiras, a Mah e a Vanessa. E elas, super cinéfilas, passaram duas semanas aqui, assistimos dezenas de filmes. Elas reacenderam em meu ser o fogo da paixão por filmes, e desde então, tenho assistido um atrás do outro, e ainda tenho uma lista de 37 filmes pra ver.

Aí me ocorreu de recomendar alguns. O gênero, vocês já sabem: Drama. Oh, dhrama, dhrama, dhrama!

My sister’s keeper (Uma prova de amor). Lindíssimo. A história de uma garota com câncer, e uma decisão em torno disso. Assistimos esse filme entre soluços, não sei qual das três chorou mais, tivemos que fazer pausas pra nos recompormos.

El nino pez (O menino Peixe). Esse está na mostra internacional de cinema de São Paulo. Um filme de sensibilidade e inteligência incríveis, sem ordem cronológica, cheio de detalhezinhos. Duas garotas, duas tragédias, um mito e um amor. Muito, muito bom. Não e fez chorar, mas é um filme mesmo impressionante, daqueles que te dá vontade de acender um cigarro e tomar um café, olhando pro nada, mesmo que você não seja fumante.

Um crime americano (An american crime). Conta a história de uma mãe que sacrifica uma garota pra salvar a família, e depois acusa a família pra se defender, no auge da insanidade. Chorei baaaaaaaldes, fiquei abalada, horrorizada. Excelente filme, e a história é real.

Outros filmes muito bons: XXY, The quiet (o preço do silêncio), The boy in the striped pyjamas (O menino do pijama listrado), Psicose (esse é bem antigo, é ótimo, é aquele da clássica cena da faca e  a musiquinha sinistra de fundo..), Gilbert Grape, aprendiz de sonhador. Fica a dica. E você, se assistiu um filme massa, deixe a sugestão aqui pra eu ver também! Obrigada!

XXy (finally) blogs! Yes, it is part of the many aspects that we want to add on to make XXy, the online fashion store, more meaningful. So why do we choose to blog, I heard you asking? Are we jumping into the bandwagon like all the other online stores that has a blog? It is a resounding yes, and yes!

One of our goals is to make www.iheartxxy.com more interactive than “just another online fashion store”. Therefore, XXy’s blog would be a useful tool for us to communicate with our customers and visitors to the website.

Here’s what you can expect from XXy’s blog: -

1. Behind the scene photo shoots or us at work
2. Latest products, news, and updates
3. Fashion news and updates across the country and around the world
4. Customers interactions
5. Contests, events, models, etc
6. And everything related to us, fashion and of course, our beloved customers

If you have any feedback for us or simply would like a shout out to us, don’t be shy we love receiving emails, send it off to buzz@iheartxxy.com

In case you are unaware, I’m Miss N de Stood.  Though I lack the certain undercarriage, I do not lack the depth of emotion.  From a universal point-of-view,  my intentions and humour are lost on some people.  Chaos and cynicism though unavoidable, are not my relish; I am neither selfish nor ungrateful.  Two people know this: my wife and my best friend (though truth-be-told, my wife is my best friend, so in this case could be rephrased to: my wife and my best male friend).

This ancient friend of mine – we both have known each other some twenty years – knows things about me that only another ‘xxy’ could ever know.  To extrapolate, how did we become friends, while unknowingly he had the same condition?  While the ratio states 1 in 700 have Klinefelter Syndrome, does it not seem rather unlikely or uncanny that we both could meet and share this experience as friends?  All I know is that without his support, it would’ve been a lot harder to deal with.

One example is analytical contemplation.  It is something I do a fair bit, though do not know whether it could be attributed to my condition exclusively.  Day dreams are frequent and in many cases I find solutions in this ‘virtual sandbox’ (also in the shower sometimes).  However, the drift into fantasy can become too intangible, because most of the time we dream what we want to experience and life doesn’t always work out that way.  So we doubt our dreams as we doubt ourselves and ultimately, I doubt.

Though, in this mind-space there is no relaxation and I long for the comforts we shared in what seems like eons ago, at Frankston; where the beach was our doorstep and the water, our home.  It is lonely where I am now.  I shake with a sort of exhausted disregard and tire of the directed anger and petty particularities.  Yet, I amass guilt of the hospitality given, when we had no other option; and the unmistakable realisation that we’re not really welcome anyway.  Subtle hints.  Do you take them on-board and harbour them, or ignore, hope they’ll go away for long enough so you can relax, settle down and become comfortable?  Newsflash!!!  Once you’ve experienced discomfort, it doesn’t slither under a bush, it manifests.

Sometimes I get so frustrated I can’t think straight.  I sit down perfectly still and hope I can quiet my mind long enough to think of some good advice I could follow, but I seethe unto exhaustion.  Just last year I was finishing my VCE, working part-time and read books every hour that work, school or home-life did not fill.  We had a rich and full life with our loving/manic pets and each other, but now, where is home?  Where can we relax and be ourselves?  I don’t even know the meaning of the word anymore, because it’s no longer a place.

To some, I will only ever seem like an enigma:  a perplexing dilemma since I am honest and open, though could be considered an introvert on ‘face value’.  Over time I’ve learned that if others only judge in this manner, without truly opening up themselves, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I guess I just feel particularly overlooked and unconsidered when it comes to the things I’ve contributed.  I am so tired, I will rest now.  Write more at the perpetual ‘later’, only to regain consciousness at intervals and find a thousand j’s.  Is it too much to ask for some happiness?  All this pride-swallowing and emotion-cloaking is becoming as transparent as the tension I can almost breathe.

“XXY” es la ópera prima como directora de Lucia Puenzo, una prometedora autora que cuenta ya con otro largometraje: “El niño pez“, un film lésbico basado en su propia novela estrenado éste mismo año 2009.

A parte de directora, Lucia es guionista (ha guionizado películas como “La puta y la ballena” dirigida por su padre Luis Puenzo) y ha publicado varias novelas: “El niño pez“, “Nueve minutos“ y “La maldición de Jacinta Pichimahuida“.

La película cuenta la historia de Alex, una adolescente de 15 años que esconde el secreto de su ambiguedad genital. 

Poco tiempo después de su nacimiento sus padres decidieron instalarse en una cabaña aislada en las afueras de Piriápolis. La historia comienza con la llegada de una pareja de amigos que vienen desde Buenos Aires con su hijo adolescente Álvaro.

El padre de Álvaro es un cirujano plástico que aceptó la invitación por su interés médico en la hija de sus amigos. La inevitable atracción entre sus hijos hace que todos se enfrenten a lo que más temían.

Ésta película es preciosa, pura poesía, la fotografía, además, destaca particularmente, la interpretación es magnífica, sobretodo por la joven Inés Efron (Alex) que aborda su papel como pocas jovenes de su edad lo hubieran hecho y por Ricardo Darín cuyo papel de padre de Alex me encanta, actua muy bien y además es un personaje que inspira confianza y protección, aunque he de decir que todo el reparto es muy bueno. La música también me gusta mucho.

Tengo ganas de ver “El niño pez” porque viendo ésta gran película me han dado ganas de ver más de la directora. Os la recomiendo totalmente, seguramente no encontreis una película como ésta en ningún lado, me atrevería a decir que es única en su especie.

At least, the version of this question that I can answer.

Not so much why, really as how. How did we get here?

The day after I met my husband, we were driving around Mount Dandenong together, and when this conversation took place, we were in Olinda, stopping at a little general store for Cascade Raspberry, and Peppermint Magnums. I remember the whole day with crystal clarity, a stunning afternoon, filled with Spring. It was the third of September, 2006.

This was the day that I knew that my path to having children would be more complicated than I had previously thought. (Because of course, we all think it will be like they tell us at school… Don’t look at boys, you will automatically fall pregnant! Ok, so I wasn’t really that naive)

This man, in whom I already knew I had found something very, very special, told me he would never be able to be a father. He explained to me that since he had been diagnosed with Klinefelters, almost 20 years ago, he had always been told that he would never be a father.

It takes a lot for someone to be so honest. This was not a conversation we were having months down the track, after getting to know each other well, after falling in love. This was day 2.

I still hold an enourmous amount of respect for my husband, for making sure I knew what I was getting myself into.

I said, never say never.

***

I read up everything I could on Klinefelters (Yes, I did actually go further than Wikipedia, but it gives a nice summary):

Klinefelter’s syndrome, 47, XXY or XXY syndrome is a condition in which males have an extra X sex chromosome. While females have an XX chromosomal makeup, and males an XY, affected individuals have at least two X chromosomes and at least one Y chromosome. Klinefelter’s syndrome is the most common sex chromosome disorder and the second most common condition caused by the presence of extra chromosomes. The condition exists in roughly 1 out of every 1000 males.

The principal effects are development of small testicles and reduced fertility. A variety of other physical and behavioral differences and problems are common, though severity varies and many boys and men with the condition have few detectable symptoms. Because of the extra chromosome, individuals with the condition are usually referred to as “XXY Males”, or “47, XXY Males”.

We stopped using birth control after a couple of months. I was hopeful.

In late 2007, some time after I had first cried at a negative HPT that I was so sure would be positive, I went with my soon-to-be fiance to visit his endocrinologist. He was due to have his 6-monthly testosterone implant. It was at this appointment that we first sought current medical advice about our infertility.

His doctor told us that there had been some advances in IVF, and that ICSI had been used with some success in Klinefelters patients. She referred us to Monash IVF.

It took us almost a year before we were ready to make that appointment. I kept hoping.

When we spoke to this doctor, things became much clearer. The endo was perhaps a little too optimistic about our odds. In patients who have undergone long term testosterone therapy, the natural testosterone production is suppressed, and the body basically loses the ability to produce any sperm at all. We had less than 1 in 1 billion chance of conceiving naturally. There was a procedure that could be used with ICSI, but it involved removing up to half of the teste, and searching, blindly, for immature sperm. In a patient such as Mr G, after 20 years of testosterone replacement, there would be less than 1 in a million chance of finding any.

We drove down to the beach that afternoon.

It was there that we decided to get a donor to help us become a family.

***

We had our wedding to plan, and while I had had all the initial screening tests, which had come up pretty much clear, and we had met with a fertility specialist who would focus more on me, we decided to put off the actual trying.

We faffed around with the ‘when’ originally it was to be July this year, then some time next year, then at some indefinite point. Then it came back to July.

And the rest of the story is in the archives.

El sábado pasado Canal 7 emitió en estreno la multipremiada “XXY”, en el ciclo “El Cine que nos Mira”.

Con la proyección iniciando pasadas las 00.30, el filme dirigido por Lucía Puenzo y protagonizada

por Ricardo Darín consiguió la marca más alta en ratings en lo que va del año para el ciclo de Canal 7: 2.3 puntos.

A la mañana siguiente, Telefé pasó, también en estreno, “100% Lucha: La Película”.

La emisión comenzoa las 10.30 de la mañana y consiguió un promedio de 5.5 puntos de rating (datos de ratings extraídos de Television.com.ar)

My husband and I have been married for 4 wonderful years. We’ve known each other for 6 years and we love each other very much.

We’ve been trying to conceive since September of 2007. Around April of 2008 we thought that we were pregnant since I was late, but it weren’t. We went to see my regular OB and he decided to run some tests. Everything was “ok” with me (one the outside with very minimal testiing) and so they decided to run some tests with Tom, they said that it was because treating a guy was “easier” than treating a girl.

So, Tom had a SA (semen Analysis) done. The day we got the results was one of the hardest days ever. The nurse was VERY cold and she read it to us as if we already knew what was going on.  The results were devastating, my main concern was to make sure that he was ok and that the sign of infection that they found didn’t mean anything.
We were sent to see a specialist. I chose the doctor since the one that they refered us to didn’t make things easy when it came to scheduling an appointment.
We found Dr.M, what a caring doctor he is. He talked to us about our choices and he ran the tests. He even called us the next day to make sure that we didn’t have any more questions and/or concern.

The day we got the results from the blood work was one of the worst days of our lives. Tom was diagnosed with Klinefelts. For me, all I cared about was to know that he was ok and that this problem was not going to affect his life. Luckly they have treatment for it and other than that he is very healty. I’m sure that Tom took this a little differently than I did. It’s still hard for him at times, but I’m sure that he knows that I love him very much and that nothing will ever change that.

  I have my own super-hero at home!!!

So, what did we do know about trying to conceive? Well, we were sent to see Dr.S., aka, our RE (Reproductive Endocrinoligist). Our consult was ok and they gave us our options. We already knew what we would do so all we had to do was wait for my  period to come and we could start treatment. Well, my period didn’t come and we were kind of stuck waiting. After some meds my period came and we could start treatment.

Let the treatments begin.

El primer post lo realize el 12 de julio y el 21 de julio fallecio mi madre a pasado mucho tiempo y hoy estoy comenzando de nuevo con este blog de Ciudad Informa, que mas si al final de aquellos juegos que juega la gente me quede con Ikariam, porque creo que tiene todavia cosas interesantes como la gente que uno encuentra, este es mi game como quizas por poner un nombre el ABC sea el tuyo donde encuentras a tu gente, o talvez sea el XXY o porque no el XXX, pero sea cual sea el juego que te apasione, vive la vida fuera de ellos y respira profundo el aire fuera de la red, tanto como aspiras de ella, en cuanto a todo esto  suena pacifico y constructivo y eso de los juegos que juega la gente tambien los juego, no creo que todos pero algunos.

xxy de la directora Lucia Puenzo, y que conto con la participacion de Ricardo Darin gano El Goya a mejor Pelicula extranjera.

Doctor Kinsey and his findings, 48% Against Proposition 8, Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan, The L Word making it to season 6, Agyness Deyn, man-skirts and man-purses, and XXY the film; not sure how these all fit together but la garçonne has returned to epitomize new sexy it seems.

See Ashley Stymest, being featured in Arena Homme + and using up a whole lot of film in Hedi Slimane’s Fashion Diary (he is everywhere in that photo diary).

Je n’avais pas pu le voir lors de sa diffusion au Festival du cinéma de La Roche-sur-Yon, alors ce soir je remercie mes parents d’avoir un abonnement à Canal +, sans ça j’aurais manqué une autre claque. Juste, pudique, touchant.

Things are tough all over, and that includes the Tribeca Film Festival, which just announced a program that’s 28% slimmer than last year’s last year’s lineup – 86 films, down from 120 in 2008.

The eighth edition of the fest opens April 22 with Woody Allen’s Whatever Works, featuring “Seinfeld” creator Larry David, star of HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” and Evan Rachel Wood, and continues through May 3.

Tribeca offers another rangy mix of features, including:

• Stay Cool, directed and written by the Polish brothers (Northfork) with Winona Ryder and Hilary Duff
• Tony-nominated playwright Conor McPherson’s The Eclipse, with Aidan Quinn, Ciaran Hinds, and Iben Hjejle
• Iranian filmmaker Asghar Farhadi’s About Elly, winner of the Berlin fest’s award for best direction
• Burning Down the House, a documentary on late, great NYC punk club CBGB’s
• Accidents Happen, with Geena Davis
• Caroline Bottaro’s Queen to Play, with Kevin Kline
• The Fish Child, directed by Lucia Puenzo (XXY)

Tribeca by the numbers – 48 world premieres, five international premieres, 14 North American premieres, and three U.S. premieres; films represent 33 countries.

The downsizing is largely due to sponsorship woes, as major sponsors Cadillac and Target dropped out, according a report in Variety, written by Dade Hayes.

“When we cut back a few years ago, it was because the festival had grown a little out of control,” fest executive director Nancy Schafer told Bloomberg News. “This time it’s because of financial considerations.”

The festival was founded in 2001 by Robert DeNiro and two partners, on the heels of the Islamofascist terrorist attacks on New York.

For complete details, visit the official festival site. For more coverage of the lineup announcement, click on the below links:

• Variety
• L.A. Times
• IndieWire
• Bloomberg News
• Cinematical

Sócrates (470 – 399 a C) dijo: La verdadera sabiduría consiste en conocer la propia ignorancia. Dicen que la ignorancia da la felicidad, es posible que sea cierto, ya que si ignoras la existencia de algo, no la deseas y si no tienes conocimiento de ciertos hechos, no sufres. Pero también es igualmente cierto que la ignorancia es muy atrevida y que gracias a ella hace que determinadas personas debido a su desconocimiento, sean intolerantes en determinados temas tales como la homosexualidad. Desconfío de las personas sumamente intolerantes y poco comprensivas con las relaciones y sentimientos humanos. ¿No tendrán alguna verdad que esconder? quizás sabida o ignorada. Dice un proverbio chino: antes de iniciar la labor de cambiar el mundo, da tres vueltas por tu propia casa.
Tal como nos explica Francisco J. Rubia en su libro, El Sexo del Cerebro, el sexo genético es el que está determinado por los genes. De los 46 cromosomas que tenemos, 23 del padre y 23 de la madre, 22 son coincidentes y los dos restantes son cromosomas sexuales, X e Y. Las hembras tienen dos cromosomas X, uno de cada uno de los padres (XX) y los varones tienen un cromosoma X de la madre y un cromosoma Y del padre (XY). El sexo gonadal se refiere a los órganos productores de células masculinas y femeninas, que son los testículos y los ovarios; Durante las primeras seis semanas de gestación, las gónadas se encuentran en un estadio indiferenciado del que se pueden desarrollar tanto ovarios como testículos. Aproximadamente, a las seis o siete semanas de gestación, la determinación del sexo de las gónadas es impulsada por un gen localizado en el cromosoma Y llamado SRY. En presencia de SRY, la gónada que es bipotencial, se desarrolla como testículo, si está ausente se desarrolla un ovario. Queda claro que el sexo femenino es el sexo por defecto, es decir, que sin ninguna intervención, todos los organismos serían femeninos. Así los varones que no tienen SRY en el cromosoma Y, desarrollan ovarios y parecen hembras. El síndrome de Turner es un trastorno genético en el que una mujer hereda solamente un cromosoma X en vez de dos, proviniendo tanto de la madre como del padre, teniendo por tanto el genotipo XO. El síndrome de Klinefelter, se caracteriza por la presencia de un cromosoma X adicional de manera que tienen un genotipo XXY lo que les da ciertas características físicas. También nos habla Francisco J. Rubia de las personas con 47 cromosomas, de los cuales dos son Y, es decir con genotipo XYY con unas determinadas características de comportamiento, y que dependiendo de las circunstancias, determinadas estructuras cerebrales serán más del tipo femenino o del tipo masculino, y que es el cerebro el que determina la conducta, según sea el cerebro desde el punto de vista sexual, así será la conducta que el individuo manifieste. Además me ha parecido muy curioso saber que en las diversas especies de animales, se pueden encontrar todo tipo de comportamientos sexuales como en los seres humanos, como por ejemplo la homosexualidad, el travestismo y la transexualidad, que muchos consideran perversiones, enfermedad o anormalidad. Y para mi sorpresa, la oferta de regalos a cambio de sexo, es decir, el sexo como mercancía entre animales. ¿Quién sabe? Quizás después de leer estas líneas con una explicación científica sobre la sexualidad (mejor leer el libro) algunos se planteen la posibilidad de ver otros comportamientos que no sean heterosexuales de forma diferente y sean más condescendientes a la hora de apuntar con el dedo. ¿Seremos capaces algún día de ver a los demás como seres espirituales independientemente de su forma física? ¿llegaremos a ver a los demás por dentro, sin preocuparnos por su sexo, su status, su cultura, su economía, etc. La armonía debería ser la regla de oro de la vida, aunque nuestro comportamiento y nuestros pensamientos difieran unos de otros. Aprendamos a vivir juntos respetándonos, sin señalar con el dedo al prójimo cuando algo no nos agrade o nuestros pensamientos no coincidan, recuerda el proverbio que dice que cuando apuntas con el dedo, tres dedos te señalan a ti. No quiere decir que todos debamos pensar, hablar y comportarnos de igual manera, pero sí que debemos abrir nuestra mente y ser mucho más tolerantes con comportamientos diferentes al nuestro. Tenemos derecho a la libertad de pensar y actuar como más nos convenga, pero también conceder el mismo derecho a los demás. Le dedico este artículo a mi queridísimo amigo Ra.

Feb 16th

The Wobblies

“Solidarity! All for One and One for All!” With that slogan, the Industrial Workers of the World, aka the Wobblies, took to organizing unskilled workers into one big union and changing the course of history. Along the way to winning an eight-hour workday and fair wages in the early 20th century, the Wobblies were one of the few unions to be racially and sexually integrated and often met with imprisonment, violence, and the privations of prolonged strikes. This award-winning film airs a provocative look at the forgotten American history of this most radical of unions, screening the unforgettable and still-fiery voices of Wobbly members–lumberjacks, migratory workers, and silk weavers–in their 70s, 80s, and 90s. Eerily echoing current times, THE WOBBLIES boldly investigates a nation torn by naked corporate greed and the red-hot rift between the industrial masters and the rabble-rousing workers in the field and factory. Replete with gorgeous archival footage, the film pays tribute to American workers who took the ideals of equality and free speech seriously enough to die for them. Directed by Stewart Bird and Deborah Shaffer, THE WOBBLIES is a rare and challenging invitation to rethink both past and present through the eyes of an organization largely omitted from memory.

Mon 23rd Feb

GOOD MORNING, NIGHT (BOUNGIORNO, NOTTE)

Chiara leads a quiet life. She works as a librarian, is recently married and has moved into a new apartment with her husband. At that that’s how Chiara wants to be seen. What nobody knows, is that she is a member of one of the world’s most feared terrorist groups who have kidnapped the President of their country and are holding him hostage in their basement.

Such is the ingenious premise of Mario Bellocchio’s new film Good Morning, Night, which has its UK premiere at the 2003 London Film Festival. Already hailed in Italy, where it won a number of prizes at the Venice Film Festival, the film depicts real-life events in Italy in 1978 when the Red Brigade kidnapped and eventually murdered the then Prime Minister. Aldo Moro’s death may not have resulted in a change – Italy’s post-war electoral instability lasted well into the 1990s – but it was a defining moment for Italians that lived through it.

Monday 2nd March

XXY
XXY is a 2007 Argentine film written and directed by Lucía Puenzo. The film stars Ricardo Darín, Valeria Bertuccelli, Inés Efron and Martín Piroyansky. It tells the story of a 15-year-old intersex person, the way they and their family copes with the situation of impending adulthood and the possibility of making the choice to have surgery, while dealing with prejudice from the local community. The film’s title is a reference to Klinefelter’s Syndrome, also known as XXY Syndrome, a condition defined as being when ‘males’ have an extra X chromosome.

Monday March 9th

COLOMBIA: PROMISES AND BULLETS:

Colombia is a country embroiled in a violent and bloody civil war, but what are the roots of this conflict and who should be held accountable? This new documentary ‘Colombia: Promises and Bullets’ charts the history of Colombia ’s war, from its humble origins to one of the most protracted and violent conflicts Latin America has ever seen. By exposing the role of the guerrilla, paramilitary groups, the army and the Colombian government, the film illustrates the full magnitude and complexity of Colombia’s war. The film gets a first hand account of the FARC’s objectives, structure and ideology through exclusive interviews with its leaders who explain why the guerrilla refuses to give up its armed struggle. The film contains extensive and exclusive interviews with the FARC’s key negotiator, Raúl Reyes, assassinated by the Colombian government in a bombing raid in Ecuador last year.

Monday March 16th

Lonely are the Brave

Lonely are the Brave is something rare, and almost unique: a leftist American western. It’s based on a novel by Edward Abbey, celebrator of the desert and promoter of “eco-terrorism” in the never-filmed 1975 novel The Monkey Wrench Gang. It was written by Dalton Trumbo, a witch-hunted screenwriter who clearly loved and understood the genre, and directed by David Miller, whose career seems otherwise undistinguished, with the exception of Executive Action, another leftist feature written by Yordan. Executive Action is an interesting, serious picture, but it’s stilted in comparison with Lonely are the Brave.

Its hero, flawlessly portrayed by Kirk Douglas (this was his favourite film), is John W. Burns, a cowboy anarchist who carries no ID, respects no authority, and pays attention only to his friends and his horse. Breaking into jail to see a friend, he attracts the attention of dogged cops, a vindictive sheriff, a one-armed Okinawa veteran, and a hot-shot military helicopter pilot, all of whom instinctively want to take him down.

They don’t. Always polite, always fair, always a “fuck you” to those above him, the brave cowboy eludes his pursuers and almost makes it to Mexico and freedom. What happens to him and to Whiskey, his magnificent, proud horse, is as tragic, as it is stupid, as it is inevitable.

Abbey loved the desert, and hated unnecessary machines. Miller communicates this, contrasting magnificent, monochrome, cinemascope images of landscape and wildlife with the screeching, rattling grinding of trucks, cars, and crashing helicopters. The cinematographer was Philip Lathrop; the score, mostly excellent, was Jerry Goldsmith’s first.

Lonely are the Brave is a pessimistic tale of the triumph of “stuff” over all that is best in the bond of humans, animals, and the land. It is both a classic western, and a great film.

“I don’t need id cards to figure out who I am, I already know.”

Monday March 23rd

The Internationale

The Internationale chronicles the fascinating history of the legendary song written in 1871, after the brutal suppression of the Paris Commune (which started this week 138 years ago!) This rallying cry for all the oppressed and exploited people of the world to rise up and overthrow their masters was soon to be translated and sung in over a hundred languages throughout the world. Featuring rare archival footage and performances and interviews with the likes of Billy Bragg and Pete Seeger, The Internationale explores the importance of ideals, the fate of the left, and the power of music as a force for change.

Monday March 30th

AFTER STONEWALL:
FROM THE RIOTS TO THE MILLENNIUM

Thirty years ago, America’s lesbians and gays — a largely closeted, fragmented and shunned community — experienced a profound turning point. On June 27, 1969, in what is considered the birth of the modern gay civil rights movement, the homosexual, bisexual and transgendered patrons of the Stonewall Bar in New York City spontaneously united and fought back against chronic police harassment, jeers and arrests. AFTER STONEWALL chronicles the gay and lesbian experience since the Stonewall riots.

From the emergence of the 70’s Gay Liberation Movement and Womyn’s music festivals to the onslaught of AIDS, the vibrant Gay Games movement and Ellen DeGeneres’ highly publicized coming out performance, AFTER STONEWALL presents a story as compelling, rewarding and provocative as the individual lesbians and gays who defined the era.

Narrated by celebrated musical artist Melissa Etheridge, AFTER STONEWALL captures the struggles, defeats and triumphs of a proud, though still stigmatized, community. The film records the personal accounts of gays and lesbians who have transformed not only their own lives, but also American society and the world community. According to program producer John Scagliotti, “These are the stories that prompted the public to question its own fundamental values with regard to family, work, religion and relationships…. Through this film, viewers will be educated about the profound influence gays and lesbians have had on the shaping of the 20th century.”

Archival and never-before-released footage from the gay and lesbian community, including personal videos and 8mm home movies, provides the centerpiece of AFTER STONEWALL. Filmmakers interviewed more than 200 people for the film, including author Armistead Maupin; early activists Frank Kameny, Jewelle Gomez and Barbara Gittings; Representative Barney Frank (D-Mass.); novelist Dorothy Allison; presidential advisor David Mixner; drag entertainer Charles Ching; best-selling author Rita Mae Brown; gay community leader Elizabeth Birch; and gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered individuals from all walks of life.

Several things have come across my radar the last few days. I have been formulating a potential new piece of choreography for the spring entitled “Negotiation of Gender and Gaze.” It would be intended to explore something I am thinking of as “kinesthetic gender,” or how gender roles are constructed, assigned, assumed, or reinforced by the way in which people move. I am also interested in how the dynamic of “gaze” participates in the negotiation of gender, and more broadly, the experience of dance performance. I am fascinated by the implications of gazing on another person, what it might say about power dynamics or intention or desire or fascination. All of this is steeping in my consciousness right now and perhaps because of this, certain media seems to be jumping out at me, either on these subjects or on adjacent subjects (gender, sexuality, sex, desire, power, etc.).

There was an article in the New York Times Magazine entitled, “What Do Women Want?” It is a fairly involved exploration of scientific efforts to analyze and understand the way in which women (heterosexual, lesbian, or otherwise) experience desire. It is a fascinating read, and an interesting exploration of the differences between the sexes (not to be confused with the differences or lack there of between genders). You can find it here.

I was also reminded of an episode of “This American Life” that my friend CoCo had written about on her blog sometime last year. I found it and listened to it again, and was still amazed by it. It has four “acts” in it: the first is about the experience of a man who, due to medical reasons, stops producing testosterone, and experience a life without desire. The second is about an female-to-male transexual who had the opposite experience, going from relatively low amounts of testosterone to an amount that is twice that of a testosterone-heavy man, and how his experience of life and himself change with that adjustment. The third is an analysis of the testosterone levels of those who work on the show (David Rakoff, a favorite author of mine and contributor to the show, had the most. The gay Canadian Jew living in Manhattan working as an author and contributor to public radio. I love it.) The fourth is a mother asking her fifteen-year-old son what it’s like to be a boy. All fascinating. You can hear it here.

One of the things that I found most profound about this discussion of testosterone is how much it connects to the reading I am doing about “embodied understanding” in a book by Mark Johnson. Johnson spends a fair amount of time rejecting the dualism of the mind and body, the concept that the person is comprised of two parts, and that the immaterial is somehow more “pure” or “authentic.” The experience of the two men in the first and second portion of this show reports just how much “who they are” is affected by the body and this hormone, affecting everything they thought of as themselves. I think it has the potential to at least raise questions about how we think about ourselves, our identities, who we are, etc.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention a film my friend Courtney lent me last week also moving around these subjects. I won’t discuss it very far here, so as to not “give away” too much of the story, but it was provocative and subtle and profound. It’s called XXY and is about an inter-sexed fifteen-year-old, and addresses issues of sex, gender, sexuality, etc. You can read more about the film  and view the trailer here.

That’s all for now. I have a rehearsal to prepare for.
Thanks for reading.