<—– Hab ich meinem Schatzi gerade bei Amazon bestellt. Und Amazon Prime sei Dank wird sie schon morgen überrascht. *hr*

Echt mal… Amazon is schon toll. Dank denen rege ich mich immer auf, wenn ich woanders was bestelle und es am übernächsten Werktag noch nicht da ist.

Naja… es gab einen Deal und so und wir werden dann Anfang des Jahre in ein komplett neu gebautes, nach unseren Wünschen innenausgebautes, 140m² großes Reiheneckhaus mit Kamin und zwei Garagen einziehen.

So schnell kann sich die Gesamtsituation von “alles shice” zu “life rocks” wandeln!

Folgt dann nur noch irgendwann der Umzugswahnsinn.

I LOVE to shop. For anything. I love to spend my own sweet time selecting the most beautiful black hair pin among many other black pins! You know what I mean now, don’t you?!? I’d probably spend all of my ‘if I get a million dollars’ moment on shopping. Clothes, for family, food, books, home, decor, places, spa, holiday and everything else that interests me!

I weigh 66-67 kgs as of today! Wohoo..its been an enriching and a painful experience. I am willing to do more. Now that I have done this I can aim for much more I believe. It seems so easy when you look back on work well done. Good for me! I have this vision of me in a few months time. *Ooo..if this isn’t hot, what else is!*

You know, as far as I can remember, I have always been called beautiful, except  during times when I felt fat and let down by the world :p. How I know now who those people are who ‘love’ me anyway. All for good no?

A small exercise now, shall we? Allow me to think from point of view of all those who call me beautiful, from the outside :p . *Ahem, clears throat*- I stand 5.6 tall, have a body frame that would definitely look smoking hot if toned well, (Oh yes! Believe me you!), killer shoulders, dark eyes, high cheek bones, oval shaped face, thick lustrous black hair, ‘almost’ bee-stung lips, can dance well, yoga too, good taste in colours and  style.. to name a few. Come on, I have atleast this much liberty don’t I? I am feeding positive thoughts into my body dearie!

Now, why do I let myself go when things don’t go my way? I don’t know. That’s a process of learning is it not? I’m learning everyday. I don’t want to define who I am in a sentence. I am much better today that what I was yesterday or vice versa! That’s the best part.

Today, I was in the mood for some shopping (after a very long time). I wanted to buy myself a watch. I reached the place the minute it opened, went in and took in the ’shopping aroma’ :p. I looked through the rack and found nothing interesting nor of my taste. Fast Track is good, though not all the time. I don’t mind waiting. But the most amazing thing I realized while trying on one of the watches was that it dangled from my wrist, which has never happened before. My chubby wrist could be seen bulging out of the strap no matter how loose I tied the watch before! I smiled today, for me!

I window shopped inside the store for sometime and suddenly remembered that I had to buy night tees since the old ones sagged! To my immense happiness, I bought 3 tees from the ladies dept. I was so hurt and humiliated last time when I shopped for the same. I was glad today but saddened that the manufacturers still don’t get what fat women go through each time they don’t get sizes for simple outfits like night ware.

The very next minute my eyes were drawn to this amazingly fine pair of brown corduroy 3/4ths. I went ahead with bated breath, as I had not purchased myself a pair of jeans/trousers since the past 5 years because my size was never available. I wore 36′ last time I checked. A couple of months back maybe. Naturally, I picked up the largest waist-ed one, size 32, and was mildly shocked to see that there wasn’t another pair beyond 32. When I tried this on, I was so baffled that I could pull it down without having to unbutton and unzip, that I had tears in my eyes!!! One of my memorable moments for sure. Without believing this was happening to me, I asked for 28 and it FIT ME!!!!!!!!! I could have skipped. With just a bit of toning, it would look fab on me.

I came out a happy customer. But more importantly, a happy woman. Wow!

It’s storming wildly today. I woke at 5.30 to crashing thunder and lightning, a turbulent sea, rain pounding my windows.  It was glorious.

This morning I heard that a woman was stabbed to death for R200 and her Uno in Muizenberg, which is a couple of miles away from here.  In broad daylight, Sunday morning.  Guess who told me about it?  The person I was compliant with yesterday.  Pissed as a snake at me.  Told me about the incident with venom.  I have an Uno.  It was scary.   I want to go back to where I was living before.  It was more expensive, and not as beautiful as here, but the whole community pays for security guards to ride around on their bikes day and night 24-7.  Well, it ain’t gonna happen today, that’s for sure!  Maybe I’m just being reactive.

I look forward to the day I have a choice to live where I want.

I’m on page 74 of my novel, page 65 of my bio, and I’ve finished the first act of my script.  First drafts, mind you…  I’m blogging every day, and still also practicing the piano, and singing.  There is time for it all.  There is.  It just takes mental discipline.

I’m going to get out of this hole.  I am.  There’s no reason in the whole universe why I shouldn’t.  Not one.  Not an iota of one.  Not a nano-iota-smallest-particle of one.  You get the idea.

7.15 am.  I woke to the sun shining after a grey, storming, freezing day yesterday.  Well, freezing for me, anyway.  Sore throat last night.  Horrible dreams.  Yesterday I spent the whole day writing the blog I’ve just posted.  Most of what I wrote I deleted, because I was ashamed that I wanted to write it.  As I read it, it sounded like victim ad nauseam.

Whatever it is, by the end of the day I was emotionally drained, which always means I’ve been in the hands of my pig parent for too long without realizing it. 

Nobody wants to hear this story any more, so why don’t you just move on for Christ’s sake.

I don’t why specifically I haven’t moved on.  I do know that I’m at least being truthful, and that I must still have unmet needs over my bankruptcy and my more distant past.  When I can identify them enough to meet them, I’ll move on.  I have to believe that my pig parent is wrong, and that everything I’m doing is leading me to that point of identifying a need – even if it’s just to get sick of that world in my memory where I was victimized.  Just articulating everything that happens in my head is a relief, so long as I can keep the internal criticism at bay.

If I look at people around me who don’t deal with their past, it looks like they’ve moved on, but how do I know?  I don’t.  Maybe they’re addicted to food, or alcohol, or money even, or neurotic relationships.  The only way I can stay out of that kind of neurosis is to do what I’m doing.  Feel, articulate and express the energy, listen for what I need, meet the need as best I can.  When I don’t hit the mark, my feeling gets stronger until my need is in my face and I can recognize it.

It’s got to be okay.

Still, I feel stifled here, in this new environment, even though it’s so beautiful – really beautiful, with mountains sloping down to the ocean, lots of small bays, white beaches, picturesque villages on one the close side of the larger bay, and on the other, in the distance, velvet blue mountains. 

Maybe it’s just that it’s unfamiliar still.  I didn’t bring anything with me that could connect me to the world, so its just what I have inside.  There’s such a huge gap in my mind between where I am and where I want to be, and I’ve spent all of my life with that gap, hoping resolution will be round the corner, hoping I’ll figure it out. Hoping I can get to a place where I’m content to be where I am.  I haven’t got there yet.

The only thing that I can think of is to finish my script and my book, so that I can at least move around a bit – even drive to the city center, or to another town, visit the bush and see wildlife.   Visit other countries.  My aim is to have a place here, in Cape Town, and one either in California or upstate New York.  Or maybe somewhere else in the US, I don’t know.  I need the stimulus of traveling.   When I forget that my current immobility (don’t have money for gas even) isn’t a sign of my future, it isn’t a death sentence on my dreams and my real needs to be secure and mobile in the world and stimulated – when I forget that, and fear constricts my being, I try to remember not to listen, and to know that I can work at my script and novel.  I have a plan which looks as though it has future potential to bring me closer to my dreams.  I’m not going to end up on the street with a piece of cardboard on which I’ve scribbled “need a job”.  Everybody in the world says that hard work and perseverance lead to success.  I choose to believe that they know what they’re talking about.

I was making my bed just now, enjoying the smell and look of clean sheets, and thinking about – you guessed it – my mother’s criticism that I don’t just get a job, and her comment “if only you could stand on the street with a piece of cardboard…”  You know what?  I do have a job, Mom.  It’s not one that you want to recognize, and I can’t do anything about that: that’s your choice, and I’m not going to let it poison my life or sour the hope in me that it has value and can lead me out of the desert.   My job is writing crime fiction and film scripts.  I have a project in each of those categories, and I’m working with discipline and dedication.  It’s just that at the moment my job doesn’t pay.  So I’ll suck it up until it does. 

Today I feel strong enough to counteract the messages I get from my mother and from my own pig parent.  

Get off my back, both of you.  I’ve got work to do.  And Mom, attend to your own business before you criticize the way I do mine.   And if you feel justified in criticizing me – actually, it’s more subtle than that; it’s not recognizing that my work has value – because I go through periods still when I ask you for money, well, that’s also something you’re entitled to do.

And I’m entitled not to take it on.  I don’t like this any more than you do.  One day it’ll be over.

“Yes, I can” makes me feel much better about myself and my life than “I don’t deserve and I can’t”.  My choice.  I’m thrilled that I can at least some of the time make the choice that adds value to my life.

Gotta go.  Gotta have breakfast.  Gotta write!

"Can't" didn't get us here!

As a young man, my dad used the saying, “can’t means you don’t want to,” many times when responding to my statement of, “I can’t …”. I remember feeling angry when he would constantly say “can’t means …” to me while I thought I was, proverbially speaking, “stretched as far as I could be stretched.” I felt he didn’t understand my lack of strength, desire, will, motivation, or in general, my inability to actually do what he wanted me to. I now realize he had a point, though I still think he should have given more consideration to my age and immaturity.

Taking into consideration and in spite of what I just wrote, the words, “I can’t” are not necessarily reflecting what it means to be human. If we look at human history, we immediately see it as one of constant improvement of the human experience. Humans are constantly driven toward progress. A saying that I have often used is, “learn from the past, live in the present and make the future better.” That saying “speaks volumes” to valuing progress. We really don’t, as a human race, accept the words, “I can’t.”

The silk road wasn't formed by "can't."

We are constantly working toward improving the status quo. The words, “I can’t” will simply get in the way of normal human behavior. Think about it. If humans had allowed “can’t” to get in the way, then the Greeks, with less than 6000 adult male citizens, wouldn’t have had the impact on democracy we now realize. The sea trade by the Phoenicians, the Silk Road from Asia Minor to China and the “discovery of America” wouldn’t have happened. There would have been no light bulb, no telephone and no automobile. Accepting “I can’t” means no written language, no music, and no books. Human history only reflects an “I can” attitude. Of course, there are set-backs, but we still, as a human race, tend to manifest an “I can” kind of history.

We have a need to grow, to experience achievement, to realize fulfillment and to be better than we were before. As we look at our history, we realize that we are indeed unique in having the trait of always expanding our knowledge. There is no group of animals, other than humans, that have planned and completed visits to faraway places like the moon. We are truly unique with this “I can” attitude.

If my dad was alive now and I told him “I can’t,” I’m sure he would still say “can’t means you don’t want to!” Guess what? I now think I agree with him and would say, “thanks for reminding me that I can!” You see, it’s only human to say, “what if I can?” Yes, I can!

I just realized this is sounding like President Obama’s campaign slogan. Yes I Can!

Can you, or can’t you give a comment?

]]> http://shecancreate.wordpress.com/2009/09/23/omg-an-omlet/ Wed, 23 Sep 2009 20:12:36 +0000 shecancreate http://shecancreate.wordpress.com/2009/09/23/omg-an-omlet/

“You may well be the only person who will be able to understand the power of what I am about to say … I just made an almost perfect omelet!…Accidentally.”

I have the day off and have been in my new apartment for 5 days when I sent this message to my friend and I was right she totally understood. It was not as if I had been trying to master the omelet or even cook recently. I have been far to preoccupied with life and it’s many tribulations to even consider the kitchen, not to mention my lack of dinero to procure the needed food stuffs for cooking a proper meal. Oh, and did I mention that this is the 3rd kitchen I had cooked in, in less than 2 months. Seriously, my life is a mess the last thing I am thinking about is omelets, eggs, or god forbid butter. My thoughts have mostly been about where I am going to live. These past couple months I have been the closest I ever hope to be to homeless.

I ended an almost 6 year relationship 2 months ago and have been couch hopping and favor trading ever since. I would love to say that I learned a lot about myself but I can’t, I have been way to stressed for inner reflection. What I have learned is that I have the best friends in the whole wide world… I have learned a lot about friendship and love from this experience. I won’t start in about friendship and it’s virtues and how friends are the family we choose, but I will say that my friends know who they are, and so do I!

Now back to that omelet…

So my new apartment has a gas stove! I haven’t cooked on gas in like 10 years and mamma missed the “tick tick tick t”he flint makes  when you are watching for the gas to light. “tick tick tick whoosh”, it’s like music to my ears. “tick tick tick whoosh”

I have been here for five days and haven’t done much cooking but, this morning I was off and had plans to write thank you notes to a few friends who had been integral to my mental health. I decided to have a real meal for breakfast, instead of the granola bar I usually call breakfast.

tick tick whoosh

I melted some butter, beat some milk into two eggs with some salt and pepper. Threw a hunk of cheese into my new handheld rotary shredder and finally poured the eggs in the pan… immediately I noticed it, and a little voice in the back of my mind said ” I think those eggs would rather be an omelet, you better not even think about scrambling them.” So I grabbed one of those rubber thingy-ma-dos and ran it around the edges. I shook the pan , still unsure and alas the eggs weren’t sticking. “omg, I think they do want to be an omelet” I took the rubber thing ma do and slightly lifted the cooked eggs and tilt the pan just so and the uncooked eggs seeped under just like I wanted them to, which is amazing because eggs hate me! “Shit, it’s working!” I keep doing this and then shred the cheese over it and gather my courage. Can I do it? Can I fold the eggs on to the plate without dropping them or even better burning myself. I use the rubber spatula (thats the name of the thinga ma do) to fold one side over  and then slide it on the plate folding it over with the skillet lip, as if I know what I am doing.

At this point I freak the freak. I jump around all excited then I just stand there staring at it and grinning like a jackass  nearly forgetting that I was planning to eat it.

So I sit down at the computer desk, because it is the only furniture I have and cut into my, a little too brown, omelet and watch as the egg and cheese ooze out greeting me with gusto. It is soft and gooey in my mouth yet it is firm and perfectly seasoned.

Throwing my life over my shoulder as if I don’t care where it lands, and viola an omelet pops out of nowhere!

The voice in the back of my mind says smuggly, “You are eating an omelet that you made. You can do any damn thing!”

Yes, I can!

At this point I realize I am having a conversation with myself and am thankful that it wasn’t out loud… this time.

My BMI is 23! Wohoo.. Just a couple of months back, a year precisely, it was 28. My, ain’t I happy!

I’m pleased with myself. I feel free. I love it like it is now! 21 and I am done!

Muah me

is how I complimented myself today. After a break of 6 days from Walking and yoga but not my diet, I went back today with hesitancy. I was not sure I would be able to cover the same distance in the same time as before. But what ya know?

I was surprised. I did it! I did get a stitch in the stomach, but that stayed for a couple of minutes and voila I was back home feeling pleased with myself.

You know, I am miles away from where I was before. Just a year back I was down in the dumps, overweight, emotional, and low self esteem. Here I am, feeling good about myself, learning to cope with failure and working towards climbing the all important mountain and means of survival!

I weigh 66.3kgs now. WOW! I can’t tell you how shocked and overwhelmed I am feeling right now. My waist is almost touching 29inches. From 34. Ok!! Stop. Is this really me?!?

If it is, then I intend to stay in love with her.

It’s time for you to remove your mask.  You know what I mean!  It’s the mask you put on when you leave your home.  It’s the mask you put on every time you interact with another human being.  It’s the mask you have chosen to paint over the real you.   My question is, do you remember who the real you is?

Here’s what I know to be true.  God doesn’t make any junk (Ethel Waters).  So the true inner you is an angel of light and beauty.  Therefore you are the star of your soul’s parade.  It’s time for you to let your own personal light shine through that mask you have been wearing. 

So it’s time to strip away your mask and rediscover who the true you is.  I’m asking you to re-discover yourself to become the self actualizing person you came to this earth to become.  It’s time for you to go into Your Sacred Safe Place deep inside yourself and figure out your cornerstone belief system.  How can you do that?  Look to your mind-body-spirit-emotion connection. 

Find out what brings you happiness and joy in each of those cornerstones that form the foundation of who you came to be this lifetime.  Once you cross the bridge into being your true self, you get to strip away all the chaos from your life.  You are on your true path to manifesting the real you!  Your energy will connect with others who are vibrating with the same type of energy you are vibrating with.  Angels will come into your life out of seemingly nowhere.  Ah, doesn’t that feel better? 

Bridge your fear.  Step out of your fear shadow.  Step into the sunlight.  Let your personal light shine.  Love yourself.  Be yourself Yes you can … strip away those masks! Cross your bridge from fear to love and become the person you intend to be!

Reflection Questions!  Use one to four adjectives to describe each part of your fundamental self.

1. My body is _____
2. My mind is _____
3. My soul is _____
4. My main emotion is joy and happiness.

Affirmations and Intentions:  I intend to live a life I deserve.  I am living a life of joy and happiness. 

To be nobody but yourself

in a world which is doing its best day and night

to make you everybody else,

means to fight the hardest battle

which any human being can fight, and

never stop fighting.

(e.e. cummings)

Dance with the ancient wise ones in the Moonlight!

Wee!  Slide down a rainbow on your magic carpet!

 Let’s increase the Love and vibrant energy of the planet!

Hugs and love from the Universe.

For more information on dealing with the energy around life, love and relationships, visit my blog at  www.astromoon.wordpress.com.  If you are on a spiritual journey, you might also want to explore my website at www.moonwomenspirituality.com.

* I am able to sit cross-legged on a chair without any effort. Unlike before, when it was simply not possible to place my right leg over my left for more than 5 min. The inner part of my thighs would not allow me to stay still. Since they were filled with large amount of fat it was quite impossible to sit cross-legged. You might have noticed how wide the legs of fat people are kept whenever they sit! Haven’t you?

* I am capable of multi tasking and doing them right!

* most of my clothes have become lose-fit! I am not sure whether I am happy about it or saddened that I need to alter them!

* weight gain is one of the main reasons for inferiority complex, constant comparision with others and emotional turmoil.

* there is more to life than just cribbing about it.

* I want to learn a lot of things, ranging from sweing to horse back riding. I might need some time to convince myself to sky dive though *prays*

* I am more than just my body image.

* acceptance is the right way to live. It is alright if your peer is succeding in whatever she sets her eyes on. I am just getting it the hard way or is it the right way?!?

* I am capable of hard work.

* I have misjudged myself. I never knew I was built the way I am today! Thankfully I know it now.

* respecting yourself is the ultimate gift Way better than diamonds or designer labels anyday!

* there is more to me than what the naked eye can see!

* I am heading in the right direction. What can be more exhilerating than that!

* I am nothing without the support of my loved ones

* the adjectives I use have changed to the past-tense!!!

I turn 2 months old today! Go me..Its impossible to believe I’ve stayed on for 2 months and intend to, until I lose the weight I want to lose! I can’t feel any happier, though I might burst of happiness after the 3rd month probably! I have this strategy in mind that every milestone I pass i.e after every month, I want to increase my exercise routine and go stricter on my diet. June started off on a positive note with minimum-less-strain-exercises and no diet. July was a major achievement.

Routine:

I would wake up by 6.15 am. Drink my usual half mug of tea and leave home for walk by 6.30 am. In June I used to walk for 2kms in 20 min and that would leave me quite out of breath. Last month I increased the distance to 4kms in 40 min ( though I don’t take 40min to be back home. I’d be done with 7min to spare). This happened for a month without a day’s miss (except during PMS of course!). I’d be back quite out of breath again but feeling rejuvinated and start off on my yoga. I did twice the counts I had done during June. The Suryanamaskara has increased to 6 times (phew!). I’d feel quite fresh after my routine. Another point to be mentioned here is I have started walking even during evening time by around 6pm for 2kms covered in 10min, come home and practice yoga ending with 3 Suryanamskara. (Good eh?). I’m feeling good.

Diet:

I insist all the time that breakfast has to be king size for me. I hate skipping breakfast for anything in the world, not even for making love . Anyway, I happily munch on the food my super chef mum prepares. Though I don’t overdo it, breakfast is my heaviest meal of the day. By 12.30pm I make myself a veg sandwich using brown bread. I eat 3 pairs of it. I’m quite full after that delicious lunch! By 4 or 5 pm I have tea and end the day by 7.30-8 pm with fruit (probably orange, apple, watermelon, pomogranate). In between I drink enough water to use the bathroom a million times :d. It was difficult to begin with, but I am determine to lose weight and ready to go that extra mile.

This is making me look good. I’m confident of continuing without worrying about not being able to get up the next day for the morning routine. The only disadvantage here is the place I live in is heaven. The weather supremely beautiful and cold in the mornings. It takes me 5min to push myself up. Hah! The perks I tell you!

I have lost 3 inches of my waist, 2 inches of my neck, 4inches of my thigh and an inch of my arm! Could I feel any better? *pat pat*

More, next month.

P.s- Oh I have joined the gym (July 25). I weigh 69.83 now! Hopefully I reduce 2kgs atleast by next month.

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I am my own best friend and my own nightmare!

This, I discovered very recently. I am crazy to have considered many other people better than me. I have wasted my precious time contemplating where I was ever wrong. I have often been surrounded by people who judge others constantly without giving a single thought to their own achievements (if any :p) and abilities. Nope, I ain’t blaming them. I’m merely realising now what I should have realised back then. I can’t change them nor do I want to. I can change to however I want to be, can’t I? The only contrast between me and them is the word yes.

*She may have been born slim, but I know the repucussions of being fat.

She may have been an A grader, but I know how failure feels.

She may have been born with a silver spoon, but I know how it hurts when you don’t get what you want.

She may have all the clothes in the world, but I know how it depresses when you can’t buy the clothing you love because of extra fat or no size availability ( I totally blame the designers’ mentality. Hey! Aren’t fat people humans?)

She may have an elder sibling to guide or many good friends to help, but I know how amazing it feels to set the right example through your faults for your younger sibling. I know how it saddens when you don’t have a true 4 am friend.

She’s an achiever. I am enlightened.

Thanks to her I know my determination.

Thanks to her I know my wants.

Thanks to her I know my limits.

Thanks to her I know my weakness.

This new approach towards life is helping me. I am capable of many things. I say yes to challenges now! I don’t care if you don’t like it. I’m game for new things. I am the best. I had always assumed. I know it now!

(*She is hypothetical)

I am happy!!!!!

Yay!

I am happy because I know where I am going, oh-so-finally! Phew..Its been quite a journey. I had recently purchased a beautiful salwar kameez material as a gift from my grandmother. A very pretty, feminine yellow with a sandstone pink kameez. This is the first salwar I have bought during my weight loss regime. I had consciously decided not to buy any clothing until I had reduced weight, but hey, that’s my grandmother’s gift. Who can say no to a gift? :p

Last week I had given the material for stitching and got it back, stitched not exactly the way I wanted it, but quite managable. As I wore it to check how it felt, I was taken by surprise. I felt GREAT. For the first time ever I did not feel conscious of the tyres in my body, the ball-like-bum, the chubby arms etc.

I feel good so I look good!

Go me..

I can’t wait to get my hands on clothes I have been throwing envious looks at since 5 years now! 58kgs come to me!

I have guests at home. My Cousin brother is among them. He eats like there’s no tomorrow. Funnily enough, he doesn’t gain even a gram of weight after all that junk mind you. Fortunate sucker. His parents tell a different story. They are struggling to reduce, just like I am trying now. How lucky can one’s metabolism get? That bro of mine, grr!

Yesterday, he was adamant to visit this restaurant famous for delicious food. I told him to carry on without me as I am on a strict diet and din’t want to succumb to temptation. My sibling and him coaxed me to join them. They asked me to eat salads and leafy food to my heart’s content and they would gorge on yummy oil dripping food! Sighing, I went ahead. The menu was placed in my hands, plates on the table and the waiter ready to take our orders. I ordered for Tomato Soup, Russian Salad and Masala Papad. That’s all. Nothing else. *mmph* What did they order you ask? The usual mouth watering, gravy slapped, oil dripping unputdownable Indian food!

It can't get any worse! sigh..

When the food arrived I simply sat staring at the other two, quicking drinking and eating whatever I had ordered. Out of pity, they offered me some of their food. And what did I do? I said NO! Can you believe that? I can’t though! They kept offering me miniscule pieces but I kept muttering to myself to hold on and not succumb. I promised myself that I could eat all that after I reduced my weight. Just a few more months I kept saying.

I felt good after I reached home. I was a front runner at such dos’ before. I am very proud of myself. I resisted what I love most. Hell. I miss eating all that but I din’t want to feel guilty after a small bite. A defient NO is what I get from myself.

Yay me!

P.s- My Grandmother complimented me later. She said ‘You are great. Your determination is something to learn from’. I am flattered.

I turn 1 month old today. Yes, its been a month since I started on my excercise routine. I can’t believe I made it through without making any excuses this time round. I’m proud of moi *pat pat*. I was hyper active and excited the day I started off and bogged down with body cramps the following day (I was unable to even touch my fingers to my toes ) I was encouraged to continue, to not sit quiet and wait until the cramps died down. Moreover I did not want to break off right after my first day! I trudged along and felt much better after a week.

Routine:

I wake up by 6.30am. I have this habit of drinking tea right after I brush my teeth. I will simply not be able to get through my day without a mug of hot tea early in the morning. I’m out of home by 7.10am. I walk for 2.5kms within 20min. I make it a point to come home within 20min. I am doing 18min as of now and hoping to make it 15min eventually! The weather is fantastically beautiful and pleasant all the time. Therefore I enjoy walking. I am home by 7.30am. I do not rest and immediately jump onto the threadmill. Since ours is manual, I am forced to apply more pressure while walking on it. Naturally, I am exausted within few minutes. I hate looking at the clock/timer while walking since it slows me down. Therefore I devised a plan I listen to music on my walkman. The songs I listen to play for a minimum of 5min. I get to walk 5min without constantly wondering when the 5min are up. Yay! I start off with yoga after a 2min break. Warm ups, sitting-standing-sleeping aasanas, 3 times Suryanamaskara later I’m done for the day. The whole routine takes about an hour. I feel terribly fresh after I quench my thirst with 500ml bottle of water and splash my face with cold water!

Result:

I had measured myself the day I started off. Today I squealed in delight. I have reduced 2 inches of my thigh, an inch of my waist; neck and hip. I still drink bottles of water every day. Consipation is yet to improve. Unfortunately, I do not own a weighing scale. I shall buy it pretty soon. I feel fresh, active, lively, my temper has reduced by a small percent, concentration has increased and I smile more often. All this within just a month. Imagine if I continue!

This month onwards I intend to start off with a healthy diet routine. Will post more on it after a month!

Until then,

Wohoo!

P.s- I have realised I never ever want to reward myself with food again after any kind of achievement. I know how hard it is to reduce the pile of pounds I have been saving for myself. I’d rather shop for clothes or take a small vacation or boast aloud my weight loss!!!

 The points given below are actually valid. They aren’t from any random ‘be good, do good’ self help book which sometimes are mundanely inhuman and practically impossible. No? Most of the points below seem to be directed only toward me. Hmm.. This is what I went through when I weighed my heaviest. My temper scared me, laziness was a synonym, food was God and my health was down in the dumps.

- Be assertive instead of being aggresive. ( Tell me about it)

- Control anxiety by identifying one’s irrational thoughts and beliefs and rectifying them. ( Might help you in the long run)

- Instead of cribbing , accept loss gracefully and move on with your life ( I’m trying hard,  I really am) 

- Replace low self esteem with good self image by always choosing to think positive, strengthening your talents and learning from your mistakes. ( I have already paid a heavy price. Ah, no! As they say, think positive; whatever happens, happens for good!)

- Oversome ‘boredom’ with introduction of change and passion in life ( I’m proud of me here. I’m doing it. I’m doing it!)

- When feeling sad/low, you can have an attitude of gratitude towards good things in life and observing how you are better compared to some others who are not! ( sigh..)

                                                                                                                           Courtesy: ToI

I came across an article in the newspaper about healthy living. Let us see how I have faired!

* Alright!  *Kinda  * Trying to

- Learn a new language.

- Join a dance class.

- Cultivate a hobby.

- Mark some time of the day as me-time (Exercise, read a book, listen to music)

- Us-time (spend time with family and friends)

- Make everyday a special occasion.

- Wear clothes that make you confident.

- Ensure 7 hrs of quality sleep everyday.

- Go for regular outings with family and friends. Maybe dinner, movie, weekend getaway.

- Get a pet. It can bring you happiness.

- Exercise daily for 30min. It will make you positive and fit.

- Play with children. Become a child again, laugh without inhibitions and enjoy the innocence of childhood.

- Keep time aside for meditation and spirituality.

- Volunteer for community service.

- Tell yourself  ‘I love you’ and give yourself a hug everyday.

- Wear a smile everyday.

- Figure out your fun quotient of the day.

- Avoid procastination and perfectionism.

- Avoid addictions.

                                                                                                                           Courtesy: ToI