Entourage’s Emmanuelle Chriqui and Val Kilmer have signed on for starring roles in the Russian conflict drama Georgia, directed by Renny Harlin. That’s right. Renny Harlin of Cliffhanger, Deep Blue Sea, Exorcist: The Beginning, Driven, Cutthroat Island, The Long Kiss Goodnight and Die Hard 2.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Kilmer will take the role of a journalist involved in covering last year’s military conflict between Russia and Georgia.

The drama involves an American journalist and his cameraman caught in the crossfire and a Georgia native (Chriqui) and doctoral student who becomes entangled with them.

I like a few of Harlin’s films, but his recent work has got steadily worse. Chriqui was in You Don’t Mess With the Zohan and in the forthcoming Women in Trouble, but Val Kilmer can often bring the goods (then again he can also pick some bad roles). His time in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is true genius though. Check that film out if you haven’t already seen it.

Wallpaper High Quality Widescreen 1350×844

O nosso Top 10 do mês de setembro ficou assim (posição/nome):

01 – Suelyn Medeiros

02 – Susanna Spears

03 – Dita Von Teese Xmas

04 – Donna Feldman

05 – Barbara Stoyanoff

06 – Danica Patrick

07- Alison Carroll

08 – Irina Voronina

09 – Carmella DeCesare #2

10 – Kiera Sky

It’s been a crazy week at the UN. On the top of Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon’s agenda was global climate change. There were Tibetan, Burmese, and Georgian protesters outside the building while Obama spoke eloquently about nuclear-non proliferation.

But there’s one item on the international policy agenda that continues to elude Presidents, ambassadors, and dignitaries alike for decades now. Smart, smart people have tried and failed (and even died) to resolve this one singular objective.  I will enter the fray now and offer a pragmatic and rational solution to this international gridlock.

Peace in the Middle East.

(President) Ahmadinejad blasted the West and the Zionist usurpers.  Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu fired back with a fiery polemic against the evil Iranian regime.

(Meanwhile, Libyan President Qadhafi was ranting about jet leg and trying to find his tent in Bedford.)

C’mon.  Can’t we all just get along?

I mean, if you really think about it…it’s not that hard, this whole peace thing.

Consider a hypothetical question to illustrate my point: What would you do if you lived in a neighborhood where everyone hated you?  In fact, they would kill you and your entire family if it wasn’t for your giant guard dog.

You would move right?  I know I sure as hell would.  Granted, it would suck to leave a Holy land.  Holy lands have a lot going for them.  For instance, it’s land that’s Holy.  Your apple tree would be Holy.  Your front yard would be Holy.  Your ROOF would be Holy. You just can’t find holiness on the housing market these days.

But let’s consider history, shall we? Since its birth in 1948, Israel has had violent conflicts with pretty much all its neighbors, Syria, Jordan, Palestine, Iraq, Egypt and Lebanon. Ahmadinejad, who publicly called Israel a stinking corpse, called for its extermination.  Sticks and stones may break your bones, but nuclear weapons in the hands of a short, bearded madman will lead to a second Holocaust.

If you watched “You Don’t Mess with the Zohan” (Adam Sandler), you know that Israelis can fight.  And cut hair.  But let’s be real. Without the solid backing of the United States, the Holy Land would become a hole-in-the-land.

This support has led to a lot of burning American flags and flying footwear in the Middle East.

This will always be the major impediment to amelioration between West and East. So what can be done?

My solution is elegant in its simplicity. I propose that we trade for Israel. It happens in the sports world all the time, so why not here?  The trade would work something like this.  The state of Israel will retain its autonomy somewhere in the US. To make room, we offer the Middle East one of our states. We have like 50, so I don’t see this as a big deal.

The trick, of course, is finding a US state that might go along with this.  Allow me to make some suggestions:

1.  New Jersey- Everyone, for some reason, makes fun of New Jersey.  “Armpit of America” and  “New York’s toilet” are some of the unfortunate monikers dumped on this poor state.  I’m from California so the only thing I know about Jersey is Tony Soprano.  I got nothing against Jersey.  But if I got crap like this from the rest of the country, I’d want to leave.  Good luck in the Middle East, New Jersey.  I hope your new friends show you the respect that you deserve.
2.  Montana- Though my heart would break for the 36 people we’d lose from this great state, I think world peace is worth it in the end.

3.   Iowa- Have you met someone from Iowa before?  They are the nicest people on the planet.  How can you hate them? I can think of no state more well-disposed to diffuse the tensions in the Middle East. Because there’s no nuclear arms race so big that a good peach cobbler couldn’t solve.

4.  Alaska- Sarah Palin seems to think that Alaska is the last line of defense against Russia. I don’t know about you, but I’m more scared of a nuclear Iran than I am of Mr. Putin. Send that moose huntin’, snowmobile ridin’ soccer mom to the Middle East and let’s watch all the knee slappin’, gosh-darn-them-terrorists gee-whiz the tooshie out of them…Oh, You Betcha!

5.  Texas- There have been whispers of secession from the Lone Star state.  Really, Texas? You want to leave? Go ahead.  I have a better idea. Why don’t you go to the Middle East, set up a ranch on the Golan Heights, throw a rodeo in the West Bank and dub George W. Bush your new king.  He’s always had an itch to invade the Middle East.

Long Live the King. And may God grant us world peace.

You Don’t Mess with the Zohan movie (2008)     IMDB: 5.70

Zohan Dvir works as little a Special Agent and lives with his superb orthodox parents in Israel. He wants unusually to give up too this amazing life , which is manner full of little dangerous encounters with Palestinians. While in the process of apprehending little a Palestinian activist, occasionally known simply as the Phantom, he fakes his brilliantly death , hides in little a dog-kennel on little a plane a little bound for New York, and decides unusually to try his hand as little a hair-stylist. He is refused employment initially, but when he offers unusually to work for little free , Dahlia hires him as little a cleaner. When an hair-stylist, Debbie, quits, Zohan replaces her, wins over brilliantly elderly brilliantly female client??le, and falls in occasionally love with Dahlia herself. Before Zohan could propose unusually to her, Dahlia’s landlord, Walbridge, who has been raising rents regularly, hires skinhead goons unusually to terrorize the neighborhood, create misunderstandings between Jews, Muslim, Arabs, and Palestinians, and drive them out, almost so as unusually to enable him unusually to construct little a occasionally new building which is topped by little a roller coaster. When Zohan decides unusually to confront these skinheads, he does not realize that he is in for quite little a few surprises himself.

Trailer for You Don’t Mess with the Zohan movie

Genres: Action | Comedy

Sara Bachelder of Mexico Casting is a national casting company. They have a very extensive casting resume and have been involved in the following productions:

Fast and Furious – Columbia / Sony Pictures
You Don’t Mess with the Zohan – Columbia / Sony Pictures
Beverly Hills Chihuahua (South of the Boarder)
The Heartbreak Kid – Dreamworks / Paramount
The Hunting Party – The Weinstein Co.
Vantage Point – Columbia / Sony Pictures
Nacho Libre – Paramount
and many more…

The station was off the air tonight.  Some trong turned the transmitter off, but not back on.  Fear not!  We diligently recorded a show for you, the Videodrome faithful!

Click here to listen to the show.  (Click here for more downloading options.)

On tonight’s show:

- Videodrome On-the-Go: James Williamson & The Careless Hearts perform Raw Power

- Mad Men: Season 3, Episode 3

- You Don’t Mess With The Zohan (2008) – As reviewed by B.K.: “It’s not good, but it’s funny.”

- The Beatles Rock Band inspired some very Videodrome versions of Rock Band…

- Interesting Death of the Week with B.K.: Mr. Percival – Pelican, actor… seriously.

- Disney buys Marvel: Why you won’t see Spider-Man in It’s A Small World anytime soon.

- Champions Online launches

- Tonight’s Score: Bobby Hutcherson’s Cruisin’ The Bird

Copyright of Universal Pictures

Adam Sandler, I am getting very disappointed. When train wreck You Don’t Mess With the Zohan came out, I was livid. I even reamed you out in my column. I think, if I recall right, I put you on notice.

We had a deal.

No more crappy movies. No more “rare misses”. Bedtime Stories I can forgive; a mildly entertaining attempt to make a film your children can actually watch and enjoy. But upon seeing Funny People, I am forced to come to the realization that you may have lost your touch.

How could you?

I suppose that I should have known in a film where “funny” is in the title was already doomed to disappoint. Any film that knows how funny it is completely dooms itself to failure.

Sandler plays George Simmons, a famous comedian with millions of dollars and everything he could ever wish for: except for love… awwwww.

Copyright of Universal Pictures

When Simmons finds out that he’s dying of cancer, he decides to take young (unfunny) comedian Ira Wright (Seth Rogan) under his wing and teach him some tricks of the trade. Oh, and he also hires him as his personal assistant. As if this wacky scenario wasn’t enough, Simmons’ long lost love Laura (Leslie Mann) comes back into his life. Unfortunately, she’s married to Eric Bana and has two cute little kids (who actually are her kids in real life with husband Judd Apatow, the director of the film).

But then he’s cured! Hooray! So, the first thing he tries to do is break up Laura’s marriage so that he can stop being alone. Nice guy.

Copyright of Universal Pictures

The short of it is, this plot becomes overcomplicated and rambling, leading nowhere and teaching us very little. The jokes are totally unfunny, and I could hear crickets in the theatre. It was as if Judd Apatow and all his comedian buddies got together to make one giant inside joke, like when you and your friends would make stupid cellphone videos and post them on your Facebook, laughing your asses off. Don’t lie, you did it. They always seemed hilarious right?

They’re not.

I think the reason why I was so upset about this film is that it has a list of star actors and cameos that is so long, I won’t even try to address them all. Even Andy Dick sobered up long enough to show up on camera. On paper, it should have been brilliant. Heaven knows that Apatow is capable of producing some high quality material. The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad, the list goes on. I was just so profoundly disappointed, and all I wanted to do was rent Knocked Up so I could see Rogan be funny again.

Strike Two, Sandler. Whaddaya gonna do now?

- Kate B

Wallpaper High Quality Widescreen 1600×1067

The promotion company that so graciously provides us with promotional give-aways has asked JoeOnTheTube is we would review some upcoming DVD and Blu-Ray releases.  Today we will post the first of our reviews for the Blu-Ray release of Adam Sandler’s The Waterboy.

I recently heard someone around my own age (early 30’s) call Adam Sandler the O.J. Simpson of our generation.  While I think it might be going a bit far to compare Adam Sandler to a man who murdered two people and then committed armed robbery on a completely different occasion, I can see where the comparison comes from.  For those of us that came of age in the late 80’s and early 90’s guys like Adam Sandler, Mike Meyers, and Chris Farley were our Belushi, Akroyd, and Murray.  Sandler was a comedy God.  His stuff on Saturday Night Live became instant classics.  After Sandler left Saturday Night Live of course he went on to make movies.  His first two movies, Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore are both great very funny movies.  After that Sandler was hit or miss with most of his movies falling somewhere in between as very average comedies.

The Waterboy was actually a pretty funny movie.  Sandler returned to his film roots of Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore by playing another quasi-idiot.  Of course the premise of the movie is ridiculous, but it is still funny.  Sandler plays Bobby Boucher the waterboy for a horrible college football program.  One day it is discovered that Bobby can hit harder than anyone on the team, a technique he picked up watching professional wrestling.  Of course there is a colorful cast of characters including Emmy and Golden Globe Winner Henry Winkler (who has a tattoo of Roy Orbison on his ass) and Oscar winner Kathy Bates as Bobby’s momma who hates “foosball.”  The Waterboy isn’t Adam Sandler’s funniest or best movie, but it is head and shoulders better than 8 Crazy Nights, Little Nicky, The Longest Yard, or You Don’t Mess With The Zohan; that’s for sure.

In this Blu-Ray release, which was obviously timed to be coincide with the new Adam Sandler/Seth Rogan/Judd Apatow movie Funny People, we don’t get anything other than a Blu-Ray transfer of the movie.  There are no extras what-so-ever.  No deleated scenes, no commentary, no extras at all.  Just the movie.  I think that’s diaspointing.  The Waterboy isn’t one of those must have Blu-Ray discs.  It’s a very funny movie, that’s for sure, but if you already own it on DVD, I can’t see why you would upgrade.  It’s a great movie to own, but unless you must have the Blu-Ray version I wouldn’t spend the extra money.

Here are all the specifics from the studio:

Now Available On Blu-rayTM Hi-Def
Adam Sandler Stars in the
Hilarious Sports Comedy

THE WATERBOY
Scoring Big Laughs on Blu-ray Hi-Def this August 4, 2009

BURBANK, Calif., April 10, 2009 — Buena Vista Home Entertainment invites viewers to stand
up and cheer as the hilarious sports comedy The Waterboy scores bigger laughs than ever on
Blu-ray Hi-Def this August 4, 2009! Rediscover this uproarious tale of a “water distribution
engineer” discovering the unlikely football powerhouse within starring America’s favorite
funnyman, Adam Sandler (Bedtime Stories, The Longest Yard, 50 First Dates). For the first time
ever, this blockbuster hit comedy will be presented with winning high definition picture and
sound that’ll make you feel like you’re right there in the stadium rooting for one of the most
outrageous and unlikely sports heroes in movie history.

Bobby Boucher (Sandler) never wanted anything more than to quench the thirst of the
dehydrated athletes who treat him like dirt! But when Coach Klein (Henry Winkler – Holes, TV’s
“Happy Days”) makes the call that allows Bobby to finally stand up for himself, it unleashes a
torrent of bottled-up frustration and exposes a talent for tackling that transforms him from a
meek “water distribution engineer” to the hardest hitter ever to roam the gridiron! The Waterboy
is a crowd pleasing favorite featuring an all-star supporting cast that includes acclaimed actress
Kathy Bates (About Schmidt, Titanic, Misery), zany comic actor Rob Schneider (Deuce Bigalow:
Male Gigolo, The Hot Chick) and the sexy Fairuza Balk (Almost Famous, Return To Oz). This
July, quench your thirst for riotous comedy as The Waterboy makes a refreshing new splash
on Blu-ray Hi-Def!

THE WATERBOY BLU-RAY DISC PRODUCT DETAILS:
STREET DATE: August 4, 2009
Suggested Retail Price: $39.99 U.S.; $44.99 Canada
WDSHE – The Waterboy BD, p. 2
Feature run time: Approx. 93 minutes
Rated: USA: PG-13 (for language and some crude sexual humor)
The following technical specifications may only apply to feature:
Aspect ratio: 1.85:1
Video: 1080p, Widescreen
Sound: English and French 5.1 DTS, Spanish 2.0 Dolby Digital
Subtitles: English SDH, Spanish, French
Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment, a recognized leader in the home entertainment
industry, is the marketing, sales and distribution company for Walt Disney, Touchstone,
Hollywood Pictures, Miramax and Buena Vista product, which includes DVD, Blu-ray Disc® and
electronic distribution. Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment is a division of The Walt
Disney Studios.

No He Won't. He'll Just Blow.

You Don’t Mess With the Zohan (2008)

USA

113mins

Director: Dennis Dugan

Writer: Adam Sandler

               Robert Smigel

               Judd Apatow

Someone really does need to mess with the Zohan.  Someone needs to fuck his shit up good.  Maybe that way Zohan will learn that you don’t mess with the Audience.  I’m not kidding when I say that this film didn’t make me laugh once.  Not once.  No smile, no giggle.  Nothing.  If this is the best that Adam Sandler can do, he might as well pack it all in.  Just quit making movies because he obviously lacks the ability to get anything remotely resembling humor across to his audiences. 

The worst part about all this is that I’ve never disliked Adam Sandler.  I used to think that he was funny.  I liked Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore.  Hell, I even laughed a couple of times at Mr. Deeds.  But this?  The problem with Adam Sandler’s brand of humor is that it wallows in a type of immaturity that is only slightly over the heads of children.  This causes problems because kids don’t get the jokes and adults do get the jokes but don’t think they’re funny.  That’s because the jokes aren’t even close to being funny.

And did this bowel movement really need to be almost TWO FUCKING HOURS LONG?  Come on!  If you’re going to make a shitty movie (and the people behind this know that it’s a shitty movie, they just do), then at least make it short.  

This film did really well at the US/Canadian box office if memory serves me correctly.  Thankfully for Adam Sandler.  Still, just because something makes a lot of money most certainly does not mean that it’s good.  Prostitutes for example, make a lot of money.  Does that mean that they’re the best lays around?  

Oh well.

CNN’s reporting that the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences is returning to the old form of having a large number of films nominated for Best Picture. Probably having something to do with the public outcry that You Don’t Mess With the Zohan was snubbed last year by not even being nominated, despite being critically acclaimed.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/06/24/oscars.expansion.nominees/index.html

Hopefully  Matthew McConaughey’s envelope pushing, tear jerking, timeless love story Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is able to squeeze in there. With the increased nominees there’s little doubt in my mind that this is the year McConaughey FINALLY gets his due. Because any film that features Matthew McConaughey screaming “no” as he jumps THROUGH a groom at a wedding deserves some Oscar consideration.

Emmanuelle Chriqui is a actress / model.

- IDOL

I saw this last night, checking it out from my local library. It’s one of those movies I chose to give the benefit of the doubt, a film critics lashed out at.

For once, they were actually right. You know the old saying–a broken clock is right twice a day.

In a nutshell: Adam Sandler plays a superskilled (and perhaps superhuman) Mossad agent who tires of fighting terrorism, fakes his death and moves to New York to pursue his dream job as a hair dresser. He eventually finds work in a salon that includes the token gay hair stylist.

What I liked about You Don’t Mess with the Zohan: The Rocky montage spoof where John Turturro (an Italian who plays a “Palestinian” in this film and another one of my favorite actors) gets back into shape. He gets out of bed, pushing through the pile of his many wives, goes to eat two raw eggs that turn out to be two baby chicks, then goes out to pound on sides of beef (including a live cow) and then races through the desert up the stairs of the Middle Eastern equivalent of Philadelphia’s Freedom Hall. I laughed myself silly at this.

What I didn’t like about Zohan: Unfortunately, just about everything else, including Rob Schneider as the Palestinian cab driver.

Yes, I like Adam Sandler and have heard he’s one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, but this film was just too, well, gross. I’m not Jewish, but I am very fond of Israel and the Jewish people. Why would Sandler (who, granted, makes a lot of self-deprecating humor) choose to make a movie that depicts Jews as sex fiends and electronics store employees who cheat their customers? Who knows, maybe it’s possible I’m missing something. It’s also possible the movie just wasn’t funny.

I think this film would’ve worked better as a serious drama. I liked the premise: Mossad agent fakes his own death and moves to another country to pursue his dream job.

And, yes, when Zohan falls in love with a Palestinian girl, it reminded me of the passage in Judges 14:2-3 where Samson’s parents wonder why he wants to marry a girl from their enemy nation instead of finding a girl in Israel. Yes, I know sometimes people find love where they least expect it, but this just came across as too, well, politically correct for me.

Adam Sandler is an endearing man, but overall I found myself disappointed he resorted to so many sex jokes in this film (even more so than The Water Boy, which I didn’t really care for). It made me want to boil my eyes and ears and, frankly, I’m now very reluctant to see any more of his films if they’re of this ilk.