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	<title>you-knew-it-would-happen &amp;laquo; WordPress.com Tag Feed</title>
	<link>http://en.wordpress.com/tag/you-knew-it-would-happen/</link>
	<description>Feed of posts on WordPress.com tagged "you-knew-it-would-happen"</description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 22:05:51 +0000</pubDate>

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<title><![CDATA[Jackass 6: The Old Lady Edition]]></title>
<link>http://daisyfae.wordpress.com/2012/03/31/jackass-6-the-old-lady-edition/</link>
<pubDate>Sat, 31 Mar 2012 15:20:57 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>daisyfae</dc:creator>
<guid>http://daisyfae.wordpress.com/2012/03/31/jackass-6-the-old-lady-edition/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Alex:  So&#8230; Is it too early to start calling you &#8220;Dumbass&#8221;? From my Admin guy, as h]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Alex:</strong>  So&#8230; Is it too early to start calling you &#8220;Dumbass&#8221;?</p>
<p>From my Admin guy, as he drove me to the emergency room Tuesday morning.</p>
<p>i rode the motorcycle to work &#8211; gorgeous day for it.  Took a carefully planned route, not a bit of trouble.  Felt great.  Went to park it in the motorcycle lot, and as i did a slow u-turn to park it?  Dropped it.  Managed to jump off in time.</p>
<p>Turns out?  it&#8217;s a heavyfuckingbike, and there was no way i was going to pick it up myself &#8212; doesn&#8217;t mean i didn&#8217;t try a couple of times.</p>
<p>Fortunately, help arrived soon &#8211; the organizational motorcycle safety rep pulled in and helped me get it righted.  He stayed with me for a few minutes. Because he knew i felt like a total dumbass, he proceeded to tell me of all the times he&#8217;s dropped bikes and said it&#8217;s part of the learning process.  i was just embarrassed, and furious at myself for the fuck up&#8230;</p>
<p>Collected my gear and got to my desk by 8:30.  Walked downstairs and grabbed coffee, cleared some e-mail, yakked with some folks.  Felt a little dizzy a couple of times.  Didn&#8217;t think anything of it.  Figured it was the adrenaline leaving my body.</p>
<p>Somewhere around 9:30, i noticed that my left sock felt sort of wet.  Went to the bathroom to check it out.  Boot was full of blood, and there was a rather disgusting, and large, gash on my left shin.  Bleeding.  A lot.  i didn&#8217;t look closely, but thought i might have seen bone.</p>
<p>A brief aside:  i am horribly squeamish.  &#8220;Pass out&#8221; squeamish.  Well-characterized &#8220;pass-out&#8221; squeamish.  The sight of my own blood?  Known to knock me down like a feather.</p>
<p>My initial reaction when seeing an open, gaping wound on my leg?  Put down the pant leg.  Go to the sink and wash out the boot.  <em>Yes.  i will need to clean up the boot so i don&#8217;t make a mess on the floor at work.</em></p>
<p>i took off the boot, without lifting the leg of my jeans high enough to see the wound.  Sock?  Bright red.  When i lifted the boot to the sink to rinse it out, blood poured out.  Bits of skin sticking to the laces.</p>
<p>i decided that perhaps this wasn&#8217;t the best idea.  Put the boot back on, stuffed some paper towels over the gash.</p>
<p>Walked right past the elevator, and down a flight of stairs.  Went to find Alex, who is one of my closer friends at work, and the first guy i want at my back in a crisis.  He was with the division chief, helping her sort out an issue with her computer.</p>
<p><strong>daisyfae</strong>:  Hey, Alex &#8212; when you&#8217;re done, i need a favor.</p>
<p><strong>Div Chief:</strong>  Hey, why don&#8217;t you stick around?  I&#8217;ve got some things i want to discuss with you about the branch chief job.</p>
<p><strong>daisyfae:</strong>  Ummm - i kinda need him to drive me to Urgent Care.  i have a cut that probably needs attention.</p>
<p><strong>Div Chief</strong>:  GO!</p>
<p>Alex went to get his car, and said he&#8217;d meet me at the parking circle.  i walked back up stairs (yes, again past the elevator) to grab my wallet.  Settling into Alex&#8217;s car, i explained what had happened, and what i&#8217;d seen on my leg.</p>
<p>He requested that i just keep that pant leg down, as he&#8217;s just about as squeamish as i am.  And didn&#8217;t want blood on the floorboard of the caddilac.  He drove me to the emergency room at a local hospital instead of &#8216;doc in a box&#8217; at an Urgent Care center.</p>
<p>He offered to wait, but knowing it would be awhile, i sent him back to the office.  Thirteen stitches.  Tetanus shot.  Antibiotics.  X-rays to make sure i didn&#8217;t hit bone (i didn&#8217;t).  Doc said &#8220;park that motorcycle for at least 2 weeks&#8221;.</p>
<p><strong>daisyfae: </strong> What about bike riding?  Elliptical?  Horseback riding?</p>
<p><strong>Doc</strong>:  I had to pull that skin very tight to get it back in place.  If you rip these stitches out?  We&#8217;re talking skin grafts.</p>
<p>Oh.  Right&#8230;</p>
<p>Alex came back at lunch, took me for beer, called me a dumbass, and explained that he&#8217;d already worked a plan to get my bike home by truck&#8230; Even had a back up plan to have one of the other office bikers drive it home for me.</p>
<p>He put beer in me, made me laugh, dusted me off, patted me on the head, and brought me back to the office.  Where i made it through the afternoon.  A little battered, and stitched together &#8211; but mostly looking at a heap of my shattered confidence swept into a pile in the motorcycle parking lot.</p>
<p>What happened?  The left foot peg scraped my left shin as the bike fell.  Amazed that i felt nothing.  For an hour.  Other than a wet sock.  It didn&#8217;t hurt &#8212; must not have a lot of nerve endings in the ol&#8217; shin.</p>
<p>Studley drove me home, but i was pissed off about leaving the bike.  So i had him drive me back that evening, and i rode it home, with him following in the chase vehicle.</p>
<p>i needed some mojo recovery. Didn&#8217;t want to have anyone else drive it home, and couldn&#8217;t leave it there through the weekend.   Was a little shaky, but i did it.</p>
<p>Studley stuck around as i washed out the boot. <em>&#8220;Holy shit, that&#8217;s a lot of blood!  Amazing that you didn&#8217;t pass out!&#8221;</em></p>
<p>Lesson learned?  You&#8217;re not off the bike until you&#8217;re off the bike.  Get back in the parking lots and practice those &#8220;Figure 8&#8243; slow turns.  Over, and over, and over.</p>
<p>i&#8217;m fine.  Could have been a lot worse.  And i can&#8217;t wait to ride again.  Off to buy some leather chaps&#8230; and practice some &#8220;Figure 8&#8242;s&#8221;.</p>
<p><a href="http://daisyfae.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/dumbass.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-6781" title="Dumbass" src="http://daisyfae.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/dumbass.jpg?w=300&#038;h=222" alt="" width="300" height="222" /></a></p>
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