Tags » AntiSocial

Have I been wrong all this while?

我错了吗?

我在这世上也活了17年,但我总是不能够理解我为什么依然还是融入不了这社会中。从表层上看,在许多人的眼中,我看似是个十全十美的完美主义者,要什么也有什么,可以说是过着一个许多人梦寐以求的生活,但我快乐吗?就在今天,我发现我错了。

倘若你要我说实话,我并不快乐。我发现原来我一直都在欺骗自己,无时无刻都在舒服自己我其实过得很幸福。有时,我还甚至怀疑我是否得了抑郁症,还是我根本自己本身的精神上出了某些问题。当我班上的同学在谈天说笑时,我总是默默地站在一旁,无法插上一嘴。在我的眼中,他们的话题看似挺无聊。换句话来说,我没有足够的生活经历来加以讨论。当时,我认为这是一件非常寻常的事,没什么好担忧的。后来我发现,这是个非常严重的问题。

每个早晨,我一到了课室,就会孤孤单单地坐在一旁,不和别人交流。不是我不想交流,而是我无法开口交流。我不能够想到任何他都认为有趣的话题。我喜欢的话题都是他们认为太过无聊或深奥的话题。相反的,他们喜欢的话题,是我感到最无趣的话题。我这么一过,也过了半年了。你也可以说我也欺骗了自己半年了。

当他们在嘻嘻哈哈玩闹的时候,我也无法加入。这也是我的另一个缺陷。我认为他们应该正经一些,怎么说也都17岁了,快要成为一个大人了,不能够和以前那么胡闹了。回头一看,我太严肃,太认真了,我的性格和他们相碰,难道这也有错?

我心知肚明我错了,但我不明白我到底是错在哪了。我仔细想了又想,难道我太过自信?还是我早已放弃了融入这个社会?或者是我心里作祟,总是认为我和他们不一样?老天爷啊,我到底该怎么办?请你指点一下这不知所措的我… …

Lost and Found

It’s always such a downer to see posts on Facebook (or whatever social platform you’re on) about a stolen motorcycle. I remember one, posted by a mom who was evidently distraught for her son. 885 more words

Motorcycles

Exit 121. Staying home for no good reason.

It’s Sunday night.  I’m pretty sure that in approximately 121 weeks of doing this blog, I have never posted on a Sunday night before.  Sometimes I’m on the ball and I get my post done on Saturday; often I post Sunday afternoon or early evening; and occasionally I don’t get it done until Monday or Tuesday.  540 more words

je n'ai pas sommeil

This Sabbath I muted my phone and left it on kitchen counter; all the phone calls & texts went unanswered. I haven’t had much sleep since friday evening and I drifted in and out of sleep and even though I haven’t been to church so as to avoid people, I did my Sabbath devotional and I’ve sorted that one with God so I’m good. 1,157 more words

Thoughts of an introvert

Hi. I’m Squishy. (People say in unison – “Hiiii squishy”) I am an introvert. I have been an introvert for the past 20 years. Some say it’s because I was home schooled. 417 more words

Funny

far gone

do you see her?
she fades into the background
easily
do you know her?
because she knows you
she watches
and understands
before you even did… 109 more words

FrightFest Previews - Interview with 'Let Her Out' Director Cody Calahan

The opening night midnight slot at FrightFest has proven to be a mixed bag over the years, but never seems to fail to draw a reaction. 1,468 more words

Horror