Tags » Ass Pics

Surprise! Your fish-sauced Jello has juicy innards.

“I AM LUNCHEON-BOT. MUST CLUTCH LEMON. SOME HUMAN PUKED UP PEPTO BISMOL AND PORK ON MY SOLAR PANEL.”

Vintage Food

It's going to be Sally Season if she doesn't knock this shit off.

“HONEY, I’m home! Golly, I’m famished. What’s for dinner?”

“Oh, just something I picked up off the floor of this crazy dive bar I discovered down the street that I encased with gelatin.” 108 more words

Vintage Food

"We have enough beautiful food for the content, Phil, so just put the butt-ugly mistakes on the cover."

How to make beautiful food in a mold! How to compose soothing symphonies using only recorders and kazoos! How to look magnificent in a bikini by gaining two hundred pounds! 40 more words

Vintage Food

It's still not dark enough

I don’t care how artfully dark the lighting guy made this scene, I can still clearly see a half dozen shrimp vomiting into Mt. Wobbles, the Shrine to the Ass-tec God of Arti-Choke and Kill-rabi which demands an annual sacrifice of two bottles of extra virgin olive oil to uphold said god’s greasiness quotient.

Vintage Food

Betsy don't play that!

That’s the American spirit, Ms. Ross! Fuck the loom, just kick back in your rocker and suck down a cigarette in sheer disgust at the amount of time you wasted on that befouled hemorrhoid ring your accursed husband demanded for dessert. 101 more words

Vintage Food

Orange You Glad People Have Slightly Better Sense These Days?

This work of culinary art looks like it’s been taken over by one of those horrifying parasitic organisms you only see in National Geographic magazine, like there’s an evolved species of Mandarin orange that lays its fruit babies inside your skin and three days later you’re covered in tangy pustules and uncontrollably shitting citrus slices.

Vintage Food

I have a sinking feeling about this...

Poor Pacman. These situations never turn out well. Send us a message from heaven because I’m dying to know what ‘lamb’s brawn’ is and how it can magically turn cat food into something acceptable for human consumption. 39 more words

Vintage Food