Tags » Attempts At Humour

Ode to a long suffering Mother

Dear Mother

You are the only one capable of dealing me with when my emotions get the better of me, have to put up with my constant negativity and when the gun is to my head you’re the poor sod talking me down… I’d say it’s a position of much responsibility and to be the one to hold that trust is an honour but I’m not that fucking crazy! 275 more words

Random Pieces

Dating Profiles, Continued!

Ring ring
Ring ring
Ring ring
Ring ring

Beeeeeeep

The person you are trying to contact has given up on finding happiness, again, please leave a message if after reading this profile you wish to open communications… 35 more words

Attempts At Humour

14th Feb, Penguin Day!

There is a person in this world for whom my caring reaches the dizzy heights of ‘I give a damn’ which on the outside an innocent of the deep emotional arts of which I practice could take as a negative assertion. 278 more words

Random Pieces

Dating Profiles I’d love to write

The Insanity plea

Sanity left me a few years back, it was a sad day

No more was I to frolic in the fields and think how nice the sunset was, how glorious it was to spend a Sunday afternoon picking out shapes in the clouds… 1,193 more words

Random Pieces

The art of Dating!

In this game we humans play the women holds all the power, until such a time as she deems us less worthy creatures deserving, so as ever, the lady decides. 21 more words

One Liners

On the bloody loveliness of the solitary lifestyle

This one goes out to my fellow non-nesting aces. To those who, having found the bliss of living alone – really, properly alone – would rather give up coffee/cake/TV/their internet connexion than go back to having… 977 more words

Asexuality