Tags » Attempts At Humour

5 Types of People at New Year's

I hope you’re all  enjoying the holiday season! Personally, I had all these plans to be super productive but so far have just been eating a lot of chocolate and accomplishing little else. 633 more words


Christmas Letter 2016 (clean version!)

Dear Santa

    Fuck you… That hourglass figured stripper with noticeable features you said was ‘into me’ turned out to be a cannibal (and you knew it) but I did return the favour and say you were interested in being her Christmas diner but alas I would not be attending, seems I will have a property deal to negotiate in the North Pole (depending on the outcome of the diner). 429 more words

Attempts At Humour

The Blogger Symptoms: 15 Things ALL Bloggers do!

I hope you’re all having an amazing week :). Can you believe it’s already December 1st? Time flies when you’re spending too much time on the internet and not enough time doing your homework. 693 more words


10 Things I HATE About Winter

How have you all been? I’ve really missed chatting with you guys! I know, it’s been awhile…I’m sorry :/. I wish I could say it was because I have a crazy social life and super busy schedule, but we all know I only have like 3.4 friends, so that’s a lie(and no, I’m not going to explain the oddly accurate decimal) . 1,283 more words



A man stares as his keyboard mournfully, fresh marks on his arm, knife ready to be cleaned of human blood

First and last time he tries that one, and not because of the obviously hideous ramifications of such self destructive will against the poison flesh holding him to a thankless mortality, but the hideously obvious ramifications of having to pretend it was an accident! 181 more words

Attempts At Humour

Tri-Factor of Failure

I sight a storm, a torrid tempest of all that natural harm can spin

I walk into it, gun upon my head and fresh bottle full… 74 more words


The Amateurs Guide to Self Harm


Life hath finally lost its flavour to the extensive degree that you are numbed to the internal pain, the consistent stabbing sensation of life’s betrayal that perpetrates every forsaken waking hour you are forced to respire. 730 more words