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Mother

My mother might have cancer.

I’m torn between the part of me that knows she hasn’t changed, she’s still the monster that has abused and abandoned me in the past, only now she might be filled with cancerous cells. 563 more words

Depression

English #frapalymo Day 24 - Deep Cuts

Isolation within
Creates a cocoon of
Hopelessness
Thoughts distort
Feelings warp
Until there’s nothing left
Anxious
Despondent
Begging for sensation
The deep cuts start
Rivers of blood flow… 165 more words

Life

Irrational reactions to rational actions

It should come as no surprise that there’s many things not to like about suffering from depression (with a side of an anxiety disorder). Perhaps the most troubling thing – at least for me – is how quickly my brain can switch from calm to calamity. 825 more words

Depression

My Christmas present

I got a present.
A very very good one.
A gleaming red Swiss Army Knife,
A note that read ‘Use me well’.

But looking at the blood, 14 more words

Depression

Ten Years of Self Injury Addiction Recovery

Today is a really big deal for me. Today marks 10 years since I last gave in to an addiction of self harm.

I don’t talk about this much. 1,924 more words

Blog

Morning Reflection

Things are much worse at night.

They’re not all that great in the morning either, but at night for some reason everything does just feel so much worse. 627 more words

Mental Health

Current progress - 10 days to go! (IIFYM Cut)

This is a progress picture of what I currently look like at the end of about 8 weeks of a moderate cut for my holiday. I certainly pictured myself with a lot less body fat by this point, especially around my mid section. 323 more words

Cutting