Tags » Death-of-child

What love cannot do

Yesterday, after 28 months, we cleaned out Jacobs bedroom in preparation to sell our home. It is a terrible feeling to box up a life of memories and to bag up items for the trash for goodwill and for storage. 599 more words


Anguish, Agony

Today is one of those days I am in anguish or agony.   I just want to touch her, hold her, kiss her, hear her say “I love you Momma”.  899 more words

Water and Blooms and Light

Once more I have been thinking of ponds, lilies and dazzle. Or maybe more specifically, water and blooms and light.

At the ocean where the sounds of the sea and breath coincide, I saw scrubby orange Gaillardia plants and remembered my daughter’s love of those flowers. 258 more words


The Hardest Part of Motherhood

Grief is such a small word to hold the power that it holds. The control that this word has exercised over my life in the last 5 months is mind-boggling. 1,345 more words

Blame Game

For a long time, I blamed myself for Amanda’s death.  I was supposed to be there with her walking the race.  In my mind, if I would have been there she would not have been running, she would have been walking with me therefore she would have been okay.  1,418 more words

Moms Protect

One thing a Mom does is try to keep her children safe and protected. When they are small children we teach safety rules – “don’t run with that stick”, “don’t talk to strangers”, “look both ways before you cross the street”, “stop that, you’re gonna fall” “don’t touch it, it’s hot”– all the don’ts and get offs– don’t climb on it, don’t jump from it, get off of it, get down from it, don’t touch it, don’t run with it. 1,013 more words

A Season of Winter

Cousins and siblings share a unique bond, and when I look back at photos of Aaron’s “growing up” years, I see 4 cousins that were inseparable. 1,431 more words