Tags » Dirty

Paddy and McDougan want to get their drink on...

… but they’re down to their last pound coin and can’t afford a single drink. So Paddy says to McDougan, ‘gimme the coin, I gots an idea.’McDougan obliges so Paddy takes the coin into the butcher shop and a few minutes later he comes out with a sausage.’What da fook did ya buy that fer?’ exclaims McDougan, ‘now we’re completely skint!’Paddy responds, ‘never yee mind, just follow me,’ and Paddy leads him into the first pub they find.’But we cannae buy a drink, we got noo cash!’ says McDougan.’Just follow my lead, and do exactly as eye tells ya!’ says Paddy.Paddy orders a pair of lagers and a couple shots of whisky. 196 more words

Jokes

Disabled.

So a retarded kids mom drops her kid off at school and says “you better stop the bus today because I’m not picking you up” and so he agrees and he arrives at the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the next day the mom says the same thing and the kid goes to the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the third day his mom says “I don’t care if have to jump out in the middle of the road you better stop that bus” so the kid goes to bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says “Stop!” The bus driver runs over him a nearby lady stops the bus and says “why’d you run that poor kid over” and he responds “‘cause he was making fun of me” (in a retarded voice)

Funny

9 Dirty Things Everyone does at Music Festivals That We're Totally Okay With

I firmly believe that one of the most exhilarating things we as humans can experience is being present at a music festival. Nothing compares to being in a crowd of like-minded individuals, listening to the harmonious voices of people singing you’re favorite song, dancing the night away, and feeling the energy of the music and those around you. 1,085 more words

Messy Bedroom? No Problem!

We spend roughly one-third of our day in our bedrooms, most of it sleeping.  Little wonder it can be difficult to keep a bedroom tidy and… 309 more words

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"Needs some work" LOL

This is not just some work that needs to be done. This is raze it to the ground and start over!

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