Tags » Don't Even Bother!

Sm4sh Haiku: Rosalina

Nope nope nope nope nope

Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

I’m suiciding

Author’s Note: I already know this is the dumbest shit ever. 


Leprechaun : Origins (2014)

“How bad could it really be?” I asked.

“It couldn’t be worse than Leprechaun 4 : In Space could it?” I wondered.

Turns out the answers were “Horrendous” and “Yes” respectively. 220 more words


Devils Due (2014)

New rule: Anyone attempting to get another found footage project green lit has to sit through EVERY OTHER found footage movie since Blair Witch.

Seriously. Learn from your fucking peers and put the goddamn shaky camera the fuck DOWN… 434 more words


Shrooms (2007)

What’s that? Another Irish horror?

I’m subbing in for Sweaty this Sunday, and I figured i’d hearken back to some of my heritage (and my habits) and make this weekend a drunken Irish one. 223 more words


Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

Holy fuck tits. If you insist on watching this, fill a bathtub with the worst rotgut that money can buy and fuckin swim in it. 317 more words


The Upper Footage

For the record, we had no initial opinion on this piece.
Its found footage. Anyone whos fucking ANYONE is tired of found footage garbage. Claiming to be the replacement, or rather the latest supplicant to the Blair Witch throne, we find ourselves caught in the grasp of ‘The Upper Footage’. 393 more words

Drunk Review

Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan

Oh this is just our perfect shade of fuckery. Sidle up to a good bottle boys, this is gonna be a rough one.

For the record, we don’t recommend watching this while less than three sheets to the wind. 232 more words