I don’t know the way guys think. Duh, that’s obviously one of the many reasons I’m still single! If there’s a blog like this, but for girls, please point me to it. I do know how girls think, though, (boob check!) and I feel like if you want to date a human with boobs, I might be able to help you.

I feel like the best way to date a girl you like is to get your foot in the door by not annoying her from the get go. Here are some examples of things that annoy me, especially on online dating sites, that you might consider avoiding:

Annoying: Being pushy and a little too obvious. Once a girl opens the door to talking with you, don’t blow it (i.e., “send me another picture.”) Look, I get it. People lie on their profiles all the time, and they don’t have pictures on their pages that actually show what they look like. Sometimes I just like to watch the world burn. So, if I start talking with someone and they are fixated on having me send them picture after picture after picture after picture…I will send a couple. But I will get annoyed quickly if it continues, and I’ll start ignoring them instead. Just saying…
Annoying: Mentioning how you are new to online dating but you are giving it a shot. I’ve talked about this before. Many, many, many men just like you have posted this in their “about me” section. The math doesn’t compute. Most relationships start online but you’re new to this game? I doubt it. Even if you are new you don’t have to say so. You know why? The girl you want to date might not be new to online dating. Saying you’re new and going to give this a shot makes it seem like online dating is weird or different. Don’t make your girl feel like she is weird or different. Even if she is
Annoying: The copy and paster. Hey, if you want to hear a do tip, this is it—send a message to that girl you think is cute. If she doesn’t respond, she’s not interested. You never know until you try. It doesn’t have to be the greatest literary accomplishment since Shakespeare. Just jot her a quick note. Girls feel it’s nice to know someone took the time to do that, even if the guy doesn’t rock their boat. But I’ve receive multiple messages from the same guys who use the same message each time they contact me. Or their message doesn’t make sense (“your profile brought a smile to my face” when in reality nothing is filled out yet). Girls are lazy too – we can spot when someone is doing the same
Annoying: Guys who write stupid shit on their profiles. I want to punch them in their faces. Here is evidence from a real-life guy’s profile (after he wrote “P.S. Having Instagram and all its lovely filters does NOT make you a model”), he said:

This guy could have written his wishlist in a better way, that didn’t make me want to punch him in the face. Something like this would have been better, “I’m looking for an independent woman who is beautiful inside and out. I’d like to find someone who is confident and hilarious. With my rewrite, no one is annoyed and it accomplishes the same goals.”

Here is another annoying profile blurb I came across recently:

I messaged this guy out of curiosity and asked if he was having luck being so blunt on his profile. I had the feeling he was trying to be funny and it wasn’t coming across very well. He threw it back in my face that I was the blunt one but, whatever. He annoyed me.

I’m telling you, I really should be a consultant for men on dating sites!

Tags » Funny Dating Stories

How to annoy the girl you wish you were dating