Tags » Funny Headlines

The only tale of muffins on the internet that's G-rated

Mornin’ all.

Have you ever wondered why kitty kibble comes in various shapes?

We ran out of my cat’s food and couldn’t find her brand here in town. 2,722 more words

How, exactly, does a boob become enlightened?

Mornin’ all.

I come to you this morning older. I’d like to say wiser, but we both know that’s not true. It was my birthday on Wednesday! 1,935 more words


If you think I look like shit now, you should have seen me on Monday!

Mornin’ all.

I’ve been sick all week with an infection. It has been less than fun. In fact, it was a big ball of NOT fun. 2,330 more words


88 headlines NOT from The Onion

Originally posted on Thought Catalog.

Are these really not Onion articles, you ask? Sadly, no. They’re real. And funny as hell. I had trouble picking a favorite, but after a lot of hemming and hawing, I think it has to be #21: “Florida Shopper Videotaped Putting Chainsaw in Pants.” Or maybe it’s #85: “Some Children’s Cereals Packed with Sugar, Study Finds.” #88 is pretty funny, too. 882 more words


Cold, gray, possibly snowy. Yep, it's March.

Mornin’ all.

Many years ago, my dad came over for a BBQ. He brought with him the usual array of snacks for the kiddies, only this time, he also had something for me. 2,292 more words


If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's probably just the illuminati screwing with you.

Mornin’ all.

Holy mamajama am I awake. Maxwell House was on sale. I hate Maxwell House, but it was on sale. Sale trumps taste buds every time. 2,205 more words

Beth Reason

Can we actually get through this without a crash?!

Mornin’ all.

My computer is still screwed.

Every time I think I’ve got it, it’s another trip to Crash City for me. I don’t know how long we have this morning before everything locks in a frozen, bitter wasteland, but it’s been awhile since we’ve chatted, and I just HAVE to write something. 1,922 more words