Tags » HUMOR 3

Church makes you smell better

me: …I got a crick in my neck

The girl: on your neck? You need church to make you feel better

Me: yes I do need to go to church. 34 more words


Road tripping.

Do you like car rides, Muppet?

I dunno. I guess. Sometimes.

Sometimes? Why only sometimes?

Well, I mean, they’re okay. But then — oh, hang on — 122 more words



my son was sitting next me eating his delicious snack. I took one little puff and this is his response….

This suhckah moves his snack to the other side of the table. 10 more words


His superheroes

You know i believe that every child has a fake phone. One that they never use cause mommy and daddy’s phone is so much cooler. those are the ones I’m talking about. 99 more words


Elliptical Thoughts

the elliptical is boring. If you disagree, you’re a liar or a moron. You can pick. I don’t care. This is what goes through my head when I’m being tortured for 30 minutes. 516 more words


Saving Clothes that Do Not Fit (yet) 

I am so stupid. Seriously. I torture myself in cruel and unusual ways. From setting unrealistic expectations on myself and others, to bringing women down instead of lifting women up (I’m also inspirational see), to the worst of the worst: Keeping clothes that don’t fit because I hope they will one day. 774 more words



I was doing my nightly ritual of face washing when I hear my kids cry out for me in despair:

The boy and the girl: mommy help! 78 more words