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April - Bedtime Part II

So for April, my 4th goal is going to be another bed time. This one will be for food. And since I just set my phone bedtime to be 10pm, I thought about doing that, but even though I eat an astonishing amount of food (mostly junk) after 10pm, I am going to make my food bedtime be 9pm. 125 more words

12 Months

Thoughts For Your Hole by Smith Q. Johns

Working title one: “Raisinets® Butt-h-le Artist, B.O. Tootsie Roll Butt-hole T-shirt”

Working title two: “Don’t Look at my Butt-h-le!”

Working title three: Seven Things I Wrote in my Journal Today: 349 more words

Columns

This is the dawning of the AGE OF AQUARIUS!

You know it, I know it, my last boyfriend defiantly knew it – I am weird.

This morning I’ve finally reached a new plateau of how weird I am by waking up with a song in my mouth. 459 more words

Dear Diary

Make it Rain

.gas.: I never promised you a rose garden, sir.

I realize that I did promise you a tulip garden, and in retrospect that was — admittedly — a misguided choice. 90 more words

Cram This