Tags » Sarcasm

The Prank

I used to be cool. In a nerdy-hipster-before-it-was-cool kind of way. I used to drive import sport cars that were way too low and way too fast. 1,191 more words

Humor

the great distraction (nothing is real)

“One great big festering neon distraction, I’ve a suggestion to keep you all occupied.  Learn to swim.” Aenema by Tool

If you haven’t noticed yet, nothing is real anymore. 

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American Culture

Excuse Me Sir, May I See Your Penis? - Your Step By Step Guide to Becoming a Pecker Inspector

Dear KK,

Every time I start to believe that the world is becoming a more sane, sensible and humane place, reality sends me to the naughty step to think about my silly beliefs again. 2,708 more words

Advice

04-16-2016 Journal–Garden Day #2 & Chicken Wings!

 

I spent an hour this morning working in the garden and freezing my ass off. Another night in the mid-twenties and the fourth hard frost in as many nights.  Gardening with a heavy coat, hat, and gloves is cumbersome to say the least. 334 more words

Journal

Pulp Fiction and John Travolta's Mullet Hair

I woke up this morning thinking about the $5 milkshake from Pulp Fiction. (You know, the one right before they dance in the ‘fifty’s club and win the trophy and then she OD’s on what she thought was coke but really turned out to be heroin and John Travolta, with his horrible mullet hair, has to drive the car into his dealer’s house and heave a mile-long needle into her heart?) Maybe that’s weird. 341 more words

Sarcasm

I Like Glue in My Coffee

I like glue in my coffee because I’m a white, gangster, mutherfucking bitch.  Fuck the cream and sugar, I rip tags off mattresses bitches.

When my teacher told me not to eat the glue, I stood up at my desk and said, … 179 more words

American Culture

Bus Wanker

I read a blog once by someone who had bought a scarf and he went on for about three hundred paragraphs about his scarf and where he bought it and how it made him feel. 3,477 more words

Humor