Tags » Sarcasm

Juice = Squeeze Cult

I’ve decided to start my own religious cult. I shall be its High Priestess. The name of my cult is ‘Juice = Squeeze’.

You see, an old friend of mine from the USA, who truly knew his shit from his shinola (another priceless phrase of his), taught me this very important philosophy, which has ultimately turned into a way of life for me. 1,191 more words

Mandatory Sterilization (Yep, I said it)

I am a proponent of mandatory sterilization and here is why: (my true feelings mixed with some humor)

I believe that some people should not be allowed to breed.  363 more words


Scenes from a Waiting Room

Act I. (the elderly)
Old, musty ass wrinkled seniors wearing bad track suits, their lifeless, aged skin scarred with purple gum colored splotches hanging from their bones like loose sleeves, 228 more words


Email #10 (a poem)

Hi, it’s me again

I know, another email

Can I

be your friend?

just click “accept friend request”

it’s online, safe like your gated community… 73 more words


How To Handle Vivid Ex Dreams

It’s Saturday night, Modern Philosophers, which is when I usually dispense invaluable dating tips to help you in your search for love.

This week, however, the post has more of a relationship advice slant due to events that occurred last evening.  1,233 more words


How To Date Like An Oscar Contender

The Academy Awards are this weekend, Modern Philosophers, and as a screenwriter, it has always been my dream to win an Oscar.

Just like it’s always been my dream to find true love and live happily ever after. 1,508 more words


How To Survive Saturday When You're Single

Valentine’s Day was on Tuesday, Modern Philosophers, and guess what?

You survived!

That holiday is difficult to get through regardless of your relationship status, so congratulations on making it to the second half of February. 1,034 more words