Tags » The Acorn

Archaeologists Discover "The Simpsonian" Used to Have a Sense of Humor

SIMPSON- Archaeologists discovered that “The Simpsonian” used to have a sense of humor. Using carbon dating and reading ability (Simpsonian newspapers have publishing dates on them), it was discovered that “The Simpsonian’s” last attempt at being funny was in the year of 2011. 361 more words

Simpson College

Liquor Shortage In Local Convenience Store In No Way Linked To Campus Day Eve

INDIANOLA – In news that has left the Indianola community absolutely baffled, local convenience stores’ supplies of cheap and crappy liquor have been completely depleted. 285 more words

Simpson College

EX- "Hey Arnold" Character Discovered to be Student at Simpson

SIMPSON – Fans of the 90’s era TV show “Hey Arnold” will be surprised to learn that major supporting character Gerald Martin Johanssen is currently a First-Year student at Simpson. 324 more words

Simpson College

NCAA Security Lapse Results in Actual “March Madness”

It was poised to be yet another grand year of broken hearts, minds and bodies for the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament until tragedy struck.

Many security guards were caught up in watching the games this past weekend and, in result, a number of coordinated “chemical switcheroos” took place all over the country. 363 more words

Simpson College

One Direction Splits- Mass Hysteria On Campus

BREAKING NEWS: Zayn Malik has left the beloved boy band One Direction. Students and teachers have been heard crying and screaming in the halls and classrooms over this tragedy. 214 more words

Simpson College

Reaching Fourth Floor Wallace- A Simpson Success

Simpson student Zoe Carlson found her success in an unusual place this morning. While walking to her class on the fourth floor of Wallace Hall, she realized something was different. 211 more words

Simpson College

No Ducks to be Found at Simpson College

On March 22 at 5:24pm, Simpson College’s last remaining duck was killed by a squirrel horde. It was a tragic moment that changed campus attitude completely. 235 more words

Simpson College