Tags » The Acorn

Dr. Tim McMillin Still Bitter about Being Kicked Off the Filharmonic

SIMPSON – Tonight’s performance by the Filharmonic is a exciting occasion for Simpson students but for one professor on campus? Not so much.

Dr. Tim McMillin, the Department Chair of Music at Simpson, was a member of the group back before they reached the heights of stardom and fame. 172 more words

Simpson College

Simpson Feminists Confront Freshmen Guys Hoping to Study-A-Broad

SIMPSON — A misogynistic misunderstanding arose earlier today at the annual Study Abroad Fair, involving several freshmen guys and members of the the newly-formed Simpson Feminists club. 171 more words

Simpson College

Brangelina Split-Up Leaves JenneJay As Last Standing Power Couple

SIMPSON – With the downfall of the world’s most influential couple, a power vacuum has been left open that the world’s second most influential couple is hoping to fill. 226 more words

Simpson College

Simpson Squirrels Left Destitute After Sacred Campus Tree is Chopped Down

SIMPSON — The local squirrel population here on campus became terrified for their lives after one of their sacred, hollow tree homes was destroyed in a vicious attack. 117 more words

Simpson College

Top 10 Songs That Will Get Any Party Going

With this playlist you are sure to have the hottest party on campus! The artists are Lit, just see for yourself.
1. One Dance by Kidz Bop… 100 more words

Simpson College

ResLife Plagues Wipes Out Student Staff and Other Innocents

SIMPSON – An absolutely epic plague originating among student staff in Residence Life has begun transferring to innocents at an alarming rate.

Sufferers of the malicious malady report scorching fevers, upset tummies, completely blocked nasal passages, sandpaper-esque throats, and pervasive tiredness. 230 more words

Simpson College

Brace Yourselves... Sorority Bid Day is Upon Us.

SIMPSON – In only a matter of hours, sorority bids will be issued throughout the campus community. Students not going through formal recruitment are advised to be aware of their surroundings. 187 more words

Simpson College