Tags » The Acorn

Pizza ATM to be Installed at Simpson College

SIMPSON — It’s official: Simpson College is set to become the second college in the nation to own a Pizza ATM.

Plans to order one of the state-of-the-art pizza dispensers quickly solidified after Xavier University… 296 more words

Simpson College

UFOs Desecend Upon Indianola Causing Mass Hysteria

SIMPSON – Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs) have been spotted above the town of Indianola causing many residents to flee in terror from what they believe is an impending invasion. 295 more words

Simpson College

Pokémon Go: Central College Students to Transfer to Simpson to Catch ‘Em All

SIMPSON — Over the past two weeks, the Office of Admissions has been flooded with transfer requests from desperate Central College students.

According to Michael Norris, Simpson’s Director of Transfer Enrollment, they all shared a common reason for ditching the Dutch: their all-consuming need to catch Pokémon. 301 more words

Simpson College

Simpson to Institute New “Trump Standards” for Plagiarism

SIMPSON – In an effort to stay on the leading edge of academic rigor, Simpson College will be implementing new plagiarism standards based on criteria set forth by Melania Trump on Monday for the 2016-2017 academic year. 317 more words

Simpson College

Simpson Announces First Successful Minnesotan-to-Iowan Conversion

SIMPSON – Scientists at Simpson College in Indianola announced today that after years of research and experimentation, they had finally succeeded in converting a Minnesotan into an Iowan. 325 more words

Simpson College

Simpson Will Build a Wall and Central Will Pay For It!

SIMPSON— The Dutch have struck again! Central students have been caught visiting Simpson College without proper documentation.

With Simpson being a private school, individuals must register to be on campus. 322 more words

Simpson College

Commencement Moved Indoors to Protect President Simmons' Mustache from Rain Damage

SIMPSON – Stormy weather predictions have caused campus administration to call for the implementation of “Plan Rain” with all Commencement activities to now take place indoors. 232 more words

Simpson College