THE HUSBAND is in his office.
The Husband: (Musing out loud.) I wish there was a fashion book called “The Stylings of the Suburban Fez.” 372 more words
2 years, 10 months ago
THE HUSBAND is sitting on the couch, worrying.
The Husband: I’m on a very set schedule for my classes because I have that presentation on Thursday. 89 more words
2 years, 11 months ago
BLUEBIRD is reading something on her phone.
The Husband: You know Eudora Welty?
Bluebird: (Not listening.) Uh-huh.
The Husband: You know Willy Wonka?
Bluebird: (Still not listening.) Uh-huh. 182 more words
2 years, 12 months ago
THE HUSBAND just cooked himself breakfast.
The Husband: That was a mistake.
Bluebird: What was a mistake?
The Husband: I didn’t have any honey left, so I added some molasses. 349 more words
3 years ago
Please enjoy this 2012 survey of previously unpublished Husbandisms. I’ve been saving these up all year long. Happy New Year!
THE HUSBAND needs more coffee. 566 more words
3 years, 1 month ago
The Husband walks into Bluebird’s office.
The Husband: Yaaaaay! I’m learning to speak Braille!
Bluebird: That’s grea—. Waitaminute.
THE HUSBAND is sitting on the couch. 218 more words
3 years, 2 months ago
THE HUSBAND is walking past Bluebird’s office.
The Husband: I only eat foods that rhyme with the word “Gymboree.”
Bluebird: Oh… wow.
The Husband is slapping his own hips. 161 more words