THE HUSBAND is in his office.
The Husband: (Musing out loud.) I wish there was a fashion book called “The Stylings of the Suburban Fez.” 372 more words
2 years, 5 months ago
THE HUSBAND is sitting on the couch, worrying.
The Husband: I’m on a very set schedule for my classes because I have that presentation on Thursday. 89 more words
BLUEBIRD is reading something on her phone.
The Husband: You know Eudora Welty?
Bluebird: (Not listening.) Uh-huh.
The Husband: You know Willy Wonka?
Bluebird: (Still not listening.) Uh-huh. 182 more words
2 years, 6 months ago
THE HUSBAND just cooked himself breakfast.
The Husband: That was a mistake.
Bluebird: What was a mistake?
The Husband: I didn’t have any honey left, so I added some molasses. 349 more words
Please enjoy this 2012 survey of previously unpublished Husbandisms. I’ve been saving these up all year long. Happy New Year!
THE HUSBAND needs more coffee. 566 more words
2 years, 8 months ago
The Husband walks into Bluebird’s office.
The Husband: Yaaaaay! I’m learning to speak Braille!
Bluebird: That’s grea—. Waitaminute.
THE HUSBAND is sitting on the couch. 218 more words
THE HUSBAND is walking past Bluebird’s office.
The Husband: I only eat foods that rhyme with the word “Gymboree.”
Bluebird: Oh… wow.
The Husband is slapping his own hips. 161 more words
2 years, 9 months ago