Tags » Twats

Trees To Give Off Wifi

Plans to re-plant areas of London previously cleared of trees, so that twats can sit in the sunshine listing to their I-Pods are already going ahead, after a new invention that allows trees to boost Wifi and mobile telephone signal was tested in the UK. 159 more words

Hit Piece

The pompous modern day twat.

Dear ‘Im so far up my own arse that I’m not aware that’s the problem’

So you think your all that, huh? you think that having two thousand Instagram follows and one hundred likes on your profile picture makes your dick grow a few more inches? 422 more words


More Wisdom; and, Unrelatedly, a Belated Happy Birthday to my Ex

A bit of hard-earned wisdom, for anyone so crushingly idle that they’re willing to entertain advice: certain people, misunderstanding how exactly responsibility and contrition work – people who never progressed, emotionally, beyond adolescence – will refuse to apologize after having done something undeniably shitty, because they, perhaps unconsciously, believe that as long as they refrain from articulating their culpability, they aren’t… 140 more words

Twats & Habits

Yesterday’s the past, tomorrow’s the future, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.

Bill Keane

When you drop the twats and habits, all that shit you know you is keeping you down, and be done with it you will see life change for the better.

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Mother's Sunday.

The only Mother’s Day I remember from childhood is a morning where my sister made a full cooked breakfast. She was working that day but had got up early and had made it wearing her uniform. 177 more words

The Vodafone 'sim-only' twats

Vodafone… soon to be the UK’s smallest network (if Three and o2 agree to ‘get it on’ and make Five) is running an infuriating advert for their SIM only contracts. 328 more words


Valentine's Day 2014, part 2

Away from the cacophony of the downtown hustle and bustle, Taylor pressed into his last pose. He exhaled slowly and returned to child’s pose. He listened to the rhythmic, soothing forest noises over the sound system. 847 more words