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The shops'll be shut on Sunndee

The Daily Mash reports………………..

Britons buying six weeks of supplies for single day shops are shut


THE UK is buying in six weeks’ worth of groceries to get them through Easter Sunday when all supermarkets are closed.  90 more words


Unconvincing SEO expert to "get you to the top" of Google

A shady sounding ‘internet marketing guru’ has promised to get your company’s website “to number one on Google” with vaguely worded services during a cold call, it has been revealed. 189 more words


Married Tinder woman's "just a laugh" claims wearing thin

An untrustworthy woman has been awkwardly passing off a mild addiction to Tinder as “just a laugh”, despite being in a committed relationship with another human being, it has been revealed. 232 more words


"Slider" loving hipsters just eating mini-burgers, it turns out

The burger-like food popular with hipsters and other smug, pulled-anything loving dickheads, normally passed off as “sliders” are actually just mini burgers, it turns out. 115 more words


Everything "harming our children" say awful middle class Mothers

Dickhead Mothers who want “gender-neutrality” for their kids are achieving national coverage for overreacting to things everyone else barely even notices, it has been revealed. 163 more words


Annoying colleague still using the bloody microwave

An irritable office prick is selfishly hogging the staff microwave, despite other colleagues needing it before lunchtime ends, it has emerged.

Unpopular Accounts Manager, Nathan Dobson, has been using the microwave for eight minutes already, and has just put in his second dish for “another few minutes.” Having used his trademark tactic of  leaving for lunch three minutes before everyone else,  the sneaky little shit explained his actions by saying: … 123 more words