Tags » Twats

It's a thought

Filched from the comments section in the Grauniad

The narcissism required to heckle a comedian always impresses me. Especially in a large venue. You have to believe that your thoughts are so important that they must be shouted out, now, in the middle of a performance, interrupting both the performer and the audience. 9 more words


Spotting a Twat on Social Media for Dummies

“If you agree click like and share”
“Witch hunt”
“Thoughts and prayers”
“Fake news!”
“Will of the people” 16 more words


Schools "Not Sorry" for Replacing Mary and Joseph in Nativity Scene with Little Shits

Britain’s schools have refused to apologise for depicting the parents of Baby Jesus in their nativity scenes as a spoiled brats who are probably ferried to school in a fucking Range Rover, it has been revealed. 201 more words


BREAKING NEWS: Ugly Baby Still Referred to as "Cute" Despite the Obvious

LYING adults are still referring to a hideous newborn as “cute” and other similarly deceptive pleasantries, despite everyone having functioning eyes which tell them otherwise, reports confirm. 146 more words


John Lewis 2017 Christmas TV ad to feature family blissfully avoiding John Lewis

This year’s John Lewis’s Christmas TV advert will will feature a family that has a better Christmas than you by avoiding John Lewis altogether, it has been revealed. 305 more words


BREAKING NEWS: Managing Director to withdraw staff bonuses again, just to be a prick

A piece of shit Managing Director isn’t going to pay out on bonuses promised to overworked staff just so he can be a complete bastard, it has been revealed. 401 more words


Just stop being a t**t

As I sat in my bedroom on Saturday night, the only room in which I can just about drown out the insidious din from next door, I was contemplating the many ways to murder the inconsiderate son of our neighbour. 423 more words