Tags » Wankery

This entry brought to you by Atlantis Morissette's hit single: You Water Know.

Like an alternate universe Bad Company, I feel like making puns. So for the next 30 minutes I’m gonna hit up Wikipedia and make puns on randomly assigned topics until my mental well runs dry. 220 more words


Who needs a bathroom when you shit the bed like that?

At work. I’ve done at least four tiny little farts in the past hour. They sound like bubble wrap popping. They smell pungent. Really bad. I keep thinking that someone’s gonna call me out, but nobody has. 429 more words

Stream Of Consciousness

The Brew Dog boycott

Just over a year ago, I wrote a post about how Brew Dog was like Rik from The Young Ones (kids, ask your parents). Both like to see themselves as edgy, as rebellious tough guys, when in reality they’re very much the exact opposite – and total poseurs as well. 402 more words

Beer Business

Mmmmm, 64 slices of American cheese.

I don’t have anything fancy to talk about today, so how about a rousing round of Two Truths and a Lie? Sounds fun, right? Or was that my first lie? 655 more words

Stream Of Consciousness

I'll need them more than they'll need me. Think of how much of my income would be devoted to bubble wrap.

It’s performance review time, so I might as well take this space to work through all the subtle nuances of my position, my aspirations and ambition mixing with the trials and tribulations of the quotidian. 473 more words

Stream Of Consciousness

Need a definition of the word "prolix"?

I have a fancy party tomorrow.

But I came down with a sore throat last night.

So I took the day off from work.

I still don’t feel 100% better. 483 more words


Auto-cinematic asphyxiation.

Wow, nothing is out right now. It’s cheap Tuesday and the cinemas are bare. Bleak. Now I’m wondering why this is something I would care about. 389 more words

Stream Of Consciousness