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2018/07/22 突然的情緒

想寫這篇網誌也有很多天了,最近有個叫我Boss的人讓我有點神傷。還真是一件難能可貴的事件。當然不排除我最近太忙(這更可能是個反面的藉口)所以有點敏感和情緒化,我竟然會因為一位男性寫日誌。

其實這篇日誌也算是找個出口,正是因為現實生活中做不了什麼,才只能這樣自己把所有的想法慢慢吞下消化。我想你。這句話,不能說吧。

處女座,藝術家。用他自己的話來說,感性/細膩/情緒起伏,並且「快是我年紀的兩倍」了。我自己重讀這句話,覺得這樣的描寫讓這個人顯得和自己很生疏。可是我們到底生疏嗎?說到底我們也沒有很多交往,見面也很難。比如最近一次說再見的時候,他說「如果九月沒機會來,那可能就要到十二月了吧——你聖誕節會休假吧?」,這樣。

一起吃飯的時候,會擔心被粉絲看到。我問他是不是要帶墨鏡和口罩,然後他就笑了「我只有粉色的墨鏡,這樣會更招人吧」,笑起來很可愛。我說如果要做市場調研,恐怕他選錯了對象,所以要不要換一個採訪者對話比較好,他一板一眼向在對媒體解釋一樣「我也在想應該要關注小眾群體」。所以對你而言,我是怎樣的存在呢,這樣的話,最後也不可能問出口。

那是真的有那麼幾個瞬間,我希望時間停滯不前。

不過作為過來人,我的一舉一動對他來說毫無意義,大約就是閒暇期間打發時間的娛樂節目,愉悅一下身心,有何不可。所以想問的「以後會忘記我嗎」就變成了「有沒有後悔和哪個失去聯繫了呢」,如果失去了和我的聯繫,會失落嗎。會想我嗎。

這種時候,我就特別喜歡處女座天秤座這類星座。

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